Page 30 of Together Again at the Cornish Country Hospital

‘Your mum and Claire didn’t sit down once all night. Every time I tried to catch my breath, they’d drag me up to dance again. I remember how much my feet hurt the next day, but my face ached from smiling too. It’s still one of the best nights I’ve ever had.’

‘Me too.’ He smiled again at the memory of his mum singing at the top of her voice all the way home, until the rest of them had finally joined in. She hadn’t wanted the night to end and her joy had been infectious.

‘Do you remember that weekend?’ Amy pointed out a second photograph. It was one he’d already spotted, but he couldn’t reveal how much seeing that photograph again had affected him, so he just nodded in response.

‘It was taken during that trip to London you blew all your birthday money on. Even though I tried to persuade you not to,’ Amy turned to look at him and he nodded again, as if she was telling him something he didn’t remember every detail of. They’d spent a weekend in London, during the year between them leaving school and Amy heading to university. Most of the trips they’d taken in that ‘gap year’ had been on a shoestring, staying in hostels as close to home as Dublin and as far flung as Marrakesh. They’d both worked at the local Co-op in between, picking up shifts to save money for their trips, coming home after each mini adventure to top up their travel fund. It wasn’t the kind of gap year some of their friends had experienced, spending six months in Asia, or teaching English in South America, but it had been perfect because they’d been together. He’d written songs while she slept with her head in his lap, waiting for flights in the early hours of the morning, just because they were the cheapest. He hadn’t realised it back then, but that year had been the best of his life.

Splashing everything he could spare on a decent hotel had made that weekend in London different. They’d felt like proper grown-ups, checking in and examining the contents of the mini bar, before deciding not to indulge because they could probably get a night in one of their usual hostels for the price of one drink. It had been a wonderful couple of days, and they’d talked about all the things they wanted to achieve once their gap year ended. They’d planned how they’d move to London together, so that Amy could study and Lijah could take steps towards making his dream a reality. He’d really thought it was going to happen back then; it wasn’t until six months later that Amy had dropped the bombshell and said she wouldn’t be going to London to study for her degree after all. If he’d known it when they’d taken that photograph on Westminster Bridge, with the London Eye in the background, he wouldn’t have been smiling. But in that moment he’d really believed that weekend was the precursor to the rest of their lives together. He had friends who couldn’t think of anything worse than getting into a serious relationship at nineteen, and had talked about what a waste it would be to get tied down to someone during ‘the best years’ of his life, but Lijah didn’t feel that way, and he’d never have broken things off with Amy if she hadn’t ended things first. That didn’t mean he hadn’t taken advantage of his freedom since, but no one had ever been able to fill her shoes and he’d never felt the same way about anyone since.

‘I spent every penny I had on that hotel.’ His voice was low when he finally spoke.

‘And do you still think it was worth it?’ Amy curled her fingers around his, and he didn’t even need to think about his response this time.

‘It was worth far more than that.’ It might not have been the start of the life he’d envisaged for them, but those two days had remained every bit as special to him as they’d been at that time. It had been a taste of the life he was so desperate to create for them: where he’d be able to take Amy to a fancy hotel any time she liked, once he’d made a go of his career. Losing her had been a casualty of his success, but it didn’t take away from how perfect that weekend had been and he wouldn’t have changed a single thing about it. He wouldn’t have changed anything about the three years he’d spent with Amy, except for the fact they’d ended.

‘I’ve sometimes thought about going back to that hotel, but I knew it would just have made me miss you more.’ Amy looked down at the floor as she spoke. Every so often she let her mask slip, revealing a hint of the vulnerability she seemed determined to hide. In those moments, Lijah couldn’t help wondering if she was finding it every bit as hard as he was to take things day by day, and go with the flow, as if they were starting out on something untested, with someone they barely knew. No matter how hard they pretended, they both knew that was not what they were doing. Whatever was happening between them was based on years of friendship that had grown into first love, and it made it very hard to act as though this was something new. Either way, whenever Amy showed even a glimpse of that vulnerability, she’d cover it up again, going straight back to the rules she’d set out for how this needed to be played. They were keeping things low-key and not telling anyone they were more than friends. It would add way too much pressure according to Amy, and keeping it casual was best for both of them when Lijah had no idea how long he’d be around. The trouble was, every time he saw her, it got harder and harder for him to stick to those rules. ‘We could go back the hotel together. You’ve got no idea how close I came on that trip to?—’

‘Yoohoo!’ a shrill voice suddenly called out, cutting him off, as the front door swung open for a second time. Amy and Lijah sprung apart in the instant before her mother, Kerry, came into the hallway. They’d agreed that other people’s expectations would just make it even harder to take it day by day. It hadn’t been difficult for Lijah to see the logic of that particular rule, when Amy had suggested they keep the fact they were dating again to themselves. Although he wasn’t even sure dating was the right word for it, not when it all had to be done so covertly.

‘Oh God, I’m not late, am I?’ Kerry widened her eyes.

‘No, why?’ Amy’s attempt to sound nonchalant was accompanied by an exaggerated shrug.

‘Because you’re both waiting in the hallway ready to shoot straight out of the door.’ Kerry suddenly beamed as she turned to look at Lijah. ‘Anyway never mind that, it’s just so lovely to have you back! It’s been far too long.’

Amy’s mother threw her arms around him and he didn’t even try to resist her embrace.

‘It’s really good to see you too, Kerry.’ His smile was genuine. He’d always liked her, even if he thought she did go too easy on Nathan. Unfortunately, they weren’t going to have long to catch up, but in a way he was glad, at least there was less chance of him making his feelings for her daughter obvious. Amy had been on an early shift, and had arranged for her mother to come over after work to keep an eye on Monty, so that she could take Lijah to meet Albert, as part of the befriending service he’d agreed to volunteer for. It wasn’t unheard of for celebrities to do that kind of thing, but it usually happened in a blaze of publicity, and all Lijah wanted to do was blend in.

‘I hate to cut the reunion short.’ Amy leaned down to make a fuss of Monty, who’d wandered out from the lounge and into the hallway, his tail thudding against the wooden floor. ‘But we’re supposed to be at Albert’s in ten minutes, so we’re going to have to make a move.’

‘You’ll just have to come to dinner while you’re here, so we can catch up properly. Promise.’ Kerry waggled a finger at Lijah and he nodded, earning him another hug. It might make it difficult to hide his feelings for Amy, but any excuse to spend time with her felt like a good one. If he was honest with himself, it had been a factor in his desire to volunteer, even if it was far from being his only motivation. Amy could set as many rules as she wanted and he’d try his best to follow them, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t going to take every opportunity he could to be with her.

* * *

‘Do I need to know anything about Albert?’ Lijah asked as Amy drove them towards his house.

‘He’s a widower, with no children and he doesn’t seem to have much of a support network. He’s lonely and I think that’s affected how well he’s taking care of himself, as if he can’t really see the point. It’s sad, because he’s a lovely man.’

‘It must be hard when you don’t think anyone really cares whether you’re there or not.’ Lijah tried to keep the wistfulness out of his voice, but he didn’t quite pull it off, and he quickly changed the subject, asking about Amy’s day. Anything to stop things from getting too personal.

‘Here we are.’ Amy pulled up outside a farmhouse, which also looked as if it had been neglected for a while, but it was in a beautiful spot, high up on the cliffs surrounded by paddocks, with far-reaching sea views. It hadn’t been what Lijah had expected at all.

‘Hi Amy. I’ve made some tea and opened the biscuits, so I’m all ready for you.’ Albert made the pronouncement as soon as he opened the door, and it immediately took twenty years off his age when he smiled and held out his hand to Lijah. ‘I’m Albert, but my closest friends always called me Albie, and I gather that friendship is the point of this whole exercise. Unless there’s something they haven’t told me, and you’re doing community service and didn’t fancy litter picking.’

There was a gleam in Albert’s eye and Lijah couldn’t help laughing. ‘Damn, you found me out! I’m Lijah, nice to meet you Albie.’

They followed him inside and Lijah could see straight away what Amy had meant. The house wasn’t dirty, but maintenance seemed to be a thing of the past. The leather sofa had worn away in parts, causing rips and tears, and the rug was threadbare too.

‘Sorry, it’s not a palace, but since Lizzie died, I can’t seem to find the will to replace anything. She was always the one who made a house feel like a home.’ Albert gestured towards a photograph on the mantlepiece of a couple in their middle age, standing outside a church in a haze of confetti.

‘We were married for twenty years, but she’s been gone for more than ten now and the whole house is missing her touch.’

‘I’m sorry, you must really miss her.’ Lijah couldn’t stop himself from glancing in Amy’s direction. All those years alone; it was a long time to be without the person you loved.

‘I do, but it gives me comfort to think she’s with Brian now, her first husband. It might all be mumbo-jumbo that heaven stuff, but I hope she’s there with him, because she was a really good woman who went through a lot and she deserves to be reunited with the person she loved the most.’ Albert sat on an armchair that was covered by a crocheted throw, and gestured towards the sofa. ‘Don’t stand on ceremony you two, sit down.’

‘Thank you.’ Lijah was trying not to let his face register shock at the way Albert was talking. He couldn’t imagine loving someone, marrying them and not feeling hurt that his wife would always love someone else more. But maybe he hadn’t lived a long enough life to put himself in Albert’s shoes, and he had a feeling there was more to the story than they’d been told so far.

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