Page 21 of Together Again at the Cornish Country Hospital

‘You can. Esther’s there, she’ll support you and someone was going to call Jase to come in too. I know this must be incredibly hard, but Ellen needs you, Aidan.’

‘I can’t. If we lose the baby… I just…’ Aidan dropped his head into his hands. ‘I can’t.’

‘What if I came with you?’ Amy reached out, but he flinched away from her.

‘I’ve got to get some air, I can’t do this now.’ Before she could reach for him again, Aidan turned away from her, breaking into a run.

‘Oh God, we need to go after him, I’m scared of what he might do, but I can’t just leave the patient either.’ Amy felt as if she was being torn in two. She desperately wanted to run after Aidan, but a big part of her was terrified of making things worse. She’d already made a hash of breaking the news to him.

‘I’ll go.’ Before she could even protest, Lijah had set off in the same direction as Aidan. She had no idea what he’d say if he found him, or whether he’d be any more successful than she was at persuading Aidan that he needed to be with Ellen right now, but she didn’t have much choice other than to let him try. All she could do was pray that Lijah’s gift with words extended beyond the lyrics of his songs, and that he could find a way to get through to Aidan before it was too late.

* * *

Amy could barely breathe as she headed back to the emergency department. Aidan had been every bit as devastated as she’d feared he’d be, and her stomach felt as though it was made of lead. Aidan and Jase were made to be parents. There had been so many obstacles in the way, and some of Aidan’s family had been resistant to the idea at first. Even after Isla had offered to become their egg donor, there’d been another bump in the road, when she was diagnosed with a chronic illness. None of them had been sure at first if the egg donation could go ahead, or whether there was any risk of passing on the condition, but thankfully they’d eventually been given the go ahead.

Finding a surrogate had been another huge step, and Amy had witnessed Aidan’s joy when he’d shared the news that Ellen had agreed to help them, but even then it didn’t go smoothly. Although Ellen had fallen pregnant, she’d had a miscarriage before they reached the twelve-week scan, and Amy’s heart had broken for Aidan and Jase. It had come at a time when their friend Danni’s pregnancy was becoming more obvious, and a talking point in the department. Aidan had never shown a shred of bitterness, and had fussed around Danni more than almost anyone else. He’d been so happy for her, despite his own pain, and the whole team had been thrilled when he’d finally announced Ellen’s second pregnancy to everyone, after the twelve-week scan had confirmed everything was looking good. Amy might have teased him about leaving her in the lurch when he went on paternity leave, but she’d been thrilled for him, her eyes filling with tears the day he’d shown her the first scan photos, unable to hold back his own tears every time he got them out.

‘We’re actually getting our dream, Ames. I can’t believe it. I would ask you to pinch me, but I know you’ll enjoy it far too much, especially after you got the short straw with Stella Steve yesterday.’

‘It’s your turn next time, no rock, paper, scissors contests to decide who gets to tell him that the cause for his headache is the amount of lager he’s consumed.’ Amy had sighed then. Steve was one of their regulars, turning up in A&E at least once a week, reeking of alcohol and sometimes worse. They’d referred him to various services to try and support him with his addiction and other problems, but he never went to any of the appointments. All they could do was check him over, and try to clean him up a bit, making another referral for help each time, before discharging him. The last time he’d been in, Amy had gone to the hospital shop to buy Steve a sandwich and a few other basics before sending him off, and when she’d got there Aidan was already queuing to do the same thing. They might joke about whose turn it was to see Steve, but it was really just a coping mechanism for dealing with the frustration they felt at not being able to help him. It was always sad when a patient didn’t seem to have anyone who cared about them enough to feel like it was worth caring about themselves, and Steve was one of those people.

‘I promise I’ll see him next time he’s in. Now look at this scan picture again and pinch me, just a little bit, so I know this is real and that me and Jase really are going to get our baby.’ He’d leaned his head on top of hers then, but she hadn’t pinched him.

‘It’s real. And that little baby is so lucky to have you and Jase.’ Just for a moment she’d felt a stab of something that felt a lot like fear, scared that she might never experience that kind of joy first hand, but then she’d shaken it off. Aidan’s joy was infectious and it hadn’t waned once, but now that dream might be slipping through his fingers and Amy’s throat was choked with a very different set of emotions.

For as long as she could remember, she’d tried to fix things for other people and to make them feel better. But there was nothing she could do to fix this for Aidan. She felt as if she’d failed him, not handling it well enough when she’d broken the news, and standing there, as if she was frozen to the spot, when he’d taken off. She should have gone after him straight away. She’d let him down and if it cost Aidan his one chance to be there when the baby arrived, whatever the outcome, she’d never forgive herself.

When she reached the door to resus, she hesitated for a moment. Taking a deep breath, she pushed it open, offering up another silent prayer that miraculously everything would somehow be okay. Her biggest fear was that Ellen wouldn’t be there, because things had taken a terrible turn, and Amy’s whole body flooded with relief to see her hooked up to a series of monitors, her eyes open now that the sedation was wearing off. Jess, who was one of the senior midwives from the maternity department, was by her side, along with Ameera Shah, a consultant obstetrician, who was scanning Ellen’s abdomen. Meg was still there too, and Amy held her breath as her colleague walked towards her.

She tried to read Meg’s expression. There was a pinched look of concern about her, but she’d noticed that look before. Amy didn’t know that much about Meg yet, because she hadn’t taken up any of the team’s offers to meet up outside of work, but she had the look of someone who’d seen far too much trauma. It was etched on her face somehow, which made it impossible to read how she was feeling.

‘How is she?’ Amy whispered the question, not wanting to cause Ellen any further distress, and Meg bit her lip for a moment before answering.

‘We sent her straight in for a CT while we were waiting for the obstetrician. The good news is there’s no indication of any other internal bleeding, but the placenta…’ She glanced over her shoulder towards Ellen, and then back to Amy again. ‘There’s an obvious break to her left leg, but the rest of her reflexes are normal, which is a really good sign. She might need an operation to stabilise the fracture, but I’ve got a feeling the baby is going to need to take priority.’

‘Thanks for letting me know. Aidan freaked out a bit, but Lijah has gone after him, so I’m sure he’ll be here soon.’ Amy really hoped she was right, but before Meg could even respond, the situation escalated.

‘There’s evidence of placental abruption, on the boundary of stage two and three.’ Ameera exchanged a glance with Jess. This didn’t sound like the good news Amy had been praying for.

Ameera turned towards Ellen. ‘The baby’s heartbeat is strong and stable, but there’s evidence of damage to the placenta, which is causing some bleeding. Given that you’re thirty-four weeks pregnant, I think the best course of action would be to perform a C-section as soon as a theatre is available. We can administer corticosteroids to help the baby’s lung development, but I think given the severity of the damage to the placenta, the bleeding is likely to worsen if we don’t take action.’

‘The baby’s parents…’ Ellen’s words were barely audible and, as she tried to sit up, Meg put a hand on her shoulder. The blocks around her neck had been removed, but even if she had escaped with just a badly broken leg, getting up was out of the question for now.

‘I don’t want you to worry about any of that.’ Meg looked away from Ellen, towards Amy, and she nodded in response to the unspoken question. ‘Aidan and Jase are both on their way. Right now, we need to focus on you and the baby.’

‘I can’t lose their baby.’ Ellen’s tone was pleading and Ameera shook her head.

‘We’re not going to let that happen.’

‘Is there anyone else you want me to call for you, Ellen?’ Amy moved closer to the bed as she spoke.

‘My husband. Aidan’s got the number.’ The effects of Ellen’s sedation had mostly worn off, but she’d been given strong painkilling medication as well, and she was slurring her words slightly, as if she’d had too much to drink.

‘I’ll make sure we get hold of him, try not to worry, everything’s going to be okay.’ Amy’s words didn’t sound convincing, even to her own ears. She just hoped Ellen hadn’t noticed the wobble in her voice, and that Jase would be here soon. At least then he could get hold of Ellen’s husband, and be there if they decided to deliver the baby early, because there was no guarantee that Lijah would be able to find Aidan, let alone persuade him to be with Ellen in time for the arrival of the baby.

14

Lijah had taken off in pursuit of Aidan almost straight away, but he hadn’t been able to catch him. He’d headed down the corridor that led outside to the hospital’s main car park, but there’d been no sign of him and peering into cars had only earnt him funny looks, a few of the occupants doing a double take when they clearly realised they recognised him from somewhere. He didn’t need to get into one of those all-too-familiar conversations right now.

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