Page 35 of Lessons in Love at the Cornish Country Hospital

‘I love you so much.’ Charlie said the words aloud, but Danni could already feel so much love in the room and there wasn’t a single thing she would have changed about the people she was surrounded by, when the biggest moment of her life finally arrived.

‘That’s it, he’s here and he’s just beautiful.’ Jess lifted the baby straight up on to Danni’s chest and, when he immediatelycried, it was the sweetest sound she’d ever heard. Although he had plenty of competition, because everybody else seemed to be crying too.

‘Hello my darling.’ Danni’s biggest fear had been that she wouldn’t experience a rush of love for her son. She knew that a lot of women didn’t get that, especially after difficult deliveries, but she was terrified that not getting that initial rush of love meant it would never come for her at all, and that she was exactly like her mother. Thankfully, as she looked down at her newborn son, it was as if love was rising up inside her with a strength so overwhelming she knew, without a doubt, that she’d die for the little boy who was lying on her chest.

‘He’s so perfect, he looks just like you. The two loves of my life are like peas in a pod.’ Charlie was laughing and crying, and kissing Danni again.

‘Oh my God, you’ve got a baby and I defy anyone to say he’s not the best baby they’ve ever seen.’ Esther couldn’t seem to drag her eyes away from him. ‘I’m your auntie Esther and I promise to spoil you and take you on adventures, and to look after you whenever your mummy and daddy need a break.’

‘He’s going to have the best auntie, and so many wonderful people around him.’ Danni looked towards the end of the bed, where Jess had her arm around Gwen, both of them looking as if the emotion of the moment had got to them too, even after all the deliveries they must have witnessed. ‘Thank you both so much for giving me the best birth experience possible.’

‘It’s been an absolute pleasure. I am going to have to borrow your beautiful boy in a moment to check him over, and that’s got nothing to do with me wanting to get a cuddle in… Well maybe a bit!’ Jess laughed. ‘But we’ve delayed the cord cutting for long enough to help baby adjust to being out in the world. So is Charlie going to do the honours?’

‘Absolutely.’ Charlie’s hands shook as he followed Jess’s instructions, and then there was a flurry of activity as another midwife finally arrived apologising profusely for not making it in time for the delivery. Danni was given a shot of vitamin K, while Jess checked the baby over, and they ensured the placenta was delivered safely too.

‘Right, I’ve borrowed this little man for long enough.’ Jess smiled as she brought the baby back to Danni and Charlie. ‘We’re doing kangaroo care, aren’t we?’

‘Yes, and I want Charlie to have him for a couple of minutes first.’ Danni’s voice was already thick with emotion, and her breath caught in her throat as Charlie put the baby against his bare chest. Kangaroo care was something that had been covered in their antenatal classes, and the suggested benefits for both the parents and the baby had been huge. During her pregnancy, she’d researched every method of bonding with a child, because she’d been so fearful that it wouldn’t come by itself. But when she looked at her two boys, she knew she’d never experienced love like she had in that moment and it was more powerful than she’d ever dared dream of. Her life as a mother had got off to the perfect start, and she couldn’t imagine anything that would ever make her wish she’d done things differently.

21

Chloe was jiggling around in her seat like a child who needed a wee, but had left it far too late to get there. She couldn’t seem to keep still as they waited for the consultant to call them in. It was hardly surprising, because Chloe was waiting to hear how her fertility might have been affected as a result of the ovarian torsion. Wendy hadn’t spoken to her about the prospect of trying again, because all the reading she’d done had told her that would be a mistake. Beau was irreplaceable, but what Chloe needed now more than anything was hope for the future. Wendy was scared of what it might do to her if the doctors said there was a reduced chance of a falling pregnant again and it felt as though there were butterflies fluttering inside Wendy’s chest too. Chloe desperately needed some good news, even if another baby was the last thing on her mind right now.

‘Chloe Adlington please.’ The consultant who’d called Chloe’s name was a kindly looking woman, who appeared to be in her sixties, and had the sort of warm demeanour that immediately made Wendy feel a bit more relaxed. She couldn’t say the same for Chloe, whose legs were still frantically jigging up and down, even as they sat opposite the consultant’s desk. Wendyhad looked up the doctor’s details on the system before the appointment, and Miss Cohen had decades of experience as a consultant gynaecologist and surgeon, which had reassured Wendy that Chloe would be getting the best possible advice.

‘I’m so sorry about what you’ve been through.’ Miss Cohen’s gentle tone finally seemed to make Chloe’s legs stop moving.

‘Thank you.’ Her response was barely audible, and Wendy instinctively reached out and took her hand.

‘I can’t imagine how difficult this has been for you emotionally, but it’s obvious you’ve got a lot of support and hopefully you’re drawing on what the hospital can offer you in that respect too?’ As Miss Cohen waited for a response, Chloe gave an almost imperceptible nod and Wendy had to stop herself from saying that she wasn’t sure Chloe was taking full advantage of professional help. ‘That’s good and I’m here to support you with the physical side of things.’

‘Can I still have a baby?’ It was as if someone had suddenly turned the volume dial up, and Chloe’s question sounded almost like a shout.

‘Yes.’ As Miss Cohen spoke, all the tension seemed to be released from Chloe’s body, like air being let out of a balloon, and she slumped slightly in her chair. ‘Your left fallopian tube and ovary had to be removed as a result of the torsion, but the good news is you’re in the optimal age range to fall pregnant without this affecting you too much. Up until around the age of twenty-eight, as long as your right ovary and tube are healthy and functioning normally, you’ll have an 85 per cent chance of falling pregnant within two years.’

‘That’s great news.’ It was Wendy who spoke, and when she turned to look at Chloe the young woman had an unreadable expression on her face.

‘I’ll be twenty-five soon and I’m single now.’ Chloe touched the place on her finger where her engagement ring had sat forsuch a short period of time that there wasn’t even a hint of an indent or tan line left behind.

‘Try not to worry about that for now. The important thing is to make sure you’re maintaining good physical health, and I am slightly concerned about how underweight you are.’ As Miss Cohen spoke, Wendy continued to watch Chloe, and she could see her shutting down. She wasn’t listening to anything the doctor had to say, and Wendy had no idea whether that was because she didn’t want to hear it, or because Chloe was fixating on the fact that – in her mind – she now only had three years to have a successful pregnancy. All Wendy could do was hope that it didn’t weaken Chloe’s resolve to stay away from Mike, because at that moment she couldn’t imagine a worse outcome than the two of them getting back together.

‘How are you feeling?’ Wendy handed Chloe one of the lattes she’d ordered and sat down opposite her. She’d needed to deal with a work issue straight after the appointment with Miss Cohen, authorising the purchase of some supplies that an inventory had shown were urgently needed, but it had taken less than ten minutes to sort out. Wendy had been determined to take Chloe out for a quiet coffee afterwards, so they could talk properly about what the consultant had said, without the risk of Zara overhearing anything that Chloe might not want her to know. ‘I thought the appointment went well and the scan results suggest that everything looks good on the right-hand side too.’

‘Umm.’ Chloe sounded unconvinced, as she wrapped her hands around the cup Wendy had just passed to her. ‘It’s just that it suddenly feels like there’s a big clock counting down inside me. Three years is such a short time, especially if it couldtake up to two years to fall pregnant even within that window. I’d have to start trying pretty much straight away.’

‘Miss Cohen didn’t say you couldn’t fall pregnant after that, just that it might be a little bit easier if you’re under twenty-eight.’ Wendy was still trying to keep her tone light, but if Mike’s name came up, she wasn’t sure she’d be able to stay anywhere near as calm.

‘It doesn’t give me long to meet someone.’ It was as if Chloe hadn’t heard what Wendy had just said, and she couldn’t stop herself from responding in the way she’d been trying so hard to avoid.

‘Please tell me you’re not thinking of going back to Mike, because that would be a disaster.’

‘God, no!’ The force of Chloe’s response was like a weight lifting off Wendy’s shoulders. ‘There are other options. I don’t know, maybe sperm donation, or if I can’t fall pregnant… There are lots of other ways I can still have a family, aren’t there?’

‘There are loads of options, but I really don’t think it will come to that.’ Wendy put a hand over Chloe’s. ‘And whatever happens, I want you to remember you already have a family. Beau has bonded you to Alice and Zara forever, and nothing is going to change that.’

‘I hope not, and I’m so grateful to you and Gary too.’ Suddenly Chloe flung her arms around Wendy, hugging her so tightly that for a moment it was hard to breathe, and then she let go. ‘I’m going to get myself sorted out, I promise.’

‘I know you will.’ Wendy smiled, and resisted the urge to ask Chloe whether she’d made any decisions about the funeral, because time really was close to running out. She was still wary of pushing her too hard about anything else, and asking her whether she’d given any thought to whether she might go back to work at the college could wait too. For now it was just so wonderful to hear Chloe sounding as if she could imagine afuture where she would be happy again. That was more than enough for one day.

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