Page 16 of Lessons in Love at the Cornish Country Hospital

‘When I told him how much I wanted him to come to the twenty-week scan, he just told me there was no need to worry, because in his exact words: “I make great babies. Wendy carried two beautiful ones with no problems, so you’ll be fine too.”’ Chloe bit her lip, putting her hands over her bump. ‘Sometimes I think he wishes this had never happened. I think it’s only the fact that this one is a boy that’s giving him any cause for excitement. It feels like he’s been there, done that, and it’s all old news to him. I just want someone to be excited about this baby.’

Chloe’s words took Wendy back to a place she didn’t want to visit. No one had ever been able to get to her the way Mike could. Sometimes his selfishness had made it feel as though her blood was actually boiling. Now it was surging through her veins in the same white-hot way. He was doing it all over again, putting himself, first, last and everywhere in his list of priorities. She could still remember how alone that had left her feeling, particularly during a difficult pregnancy with Zara, and shecould see that same aching loneliness reflected in Chloe’s face. He’d got away with acting like this for years, and he was clearly arrogant enough not to see any reason to change. Hate was a strong word, but in that moment it was how she felt towards her ex-husband. And, much to her surprise, she wanted to somehow try and make things better for Chloe.

‘I’m sure there are loads of people in your life who are excited.’ Wendy had an almost overwhelming urge to reach out and take Chloe’s hand, but she kept her arms clamped to her sides instead, even as Chloe shook her head.

‘When my mum died, my dad found someone else almost straight away and she definitely wished he didn’t come as a package deal. It didn’t matter that she had two sons from her first marriage, I was the one in the way and she made sure I felt it. Worse than that was my father never did anything to try and make up for it. That’s why I need the girls to know how much I want them around, and it’s why I encourage Mike to have some one-on-one time with them too…’ It was Chloe’s turn to trail off.

‘Not that he does, right? And he probably doesn’t appreciate all that you do either.’ Wendy took a deep breath. ‘But I do, and I want you to know that.’

The realisation of just how much Chloe did for the girls had crept up on Wendy recently, even though she’d desperately wanted to deny it. If Chloe was an important part of their lives, surely that somehow diminished Wendy’s role. Except now she could see that Chloe hadn’t been trying to compete with her, she’d been attempting to fill the gaps left by Mike, because she understood exactly how his indifference would make them feel.

‘They make it easy. They’re such great girls.’ Chloe closed her eyes for a second, before opening them again and looking straight at Wendy. ‘It just makes me so sad that when you asked if there was someone I could call, there’s no one I could thinkof who cares about me and the baby the way I need someone to right now.’

‘Alice and Zara do.’ Wendy nodded to emphasise her words. Chloe had shared a painful secret with her, and it was time to do the same. ‘They love you, so much that I have to admit I sometimes find it hard, but it’s you they want to rush over to their dad’s place to see, not him. And they are so excited about the baby. He’s already really loved, and not just by you.’

‘Oh my God, thank you.’ Chloe’s eyes filled with tears again, but the tortured look on her face was gone. ‘You’ve got no idea how much that means to me to hear, Wendy. The girls are so lucky to have you and I know this sounds really strange in the circumstances, but I wish I’d had a mum like you around.’

Maybe it was a weird thing for her ex’s girlfriend to say, but the truth was that Wendy was easily old enough to be her mother, and something about the young woman had brought the maternal instinct out in her too. That didn’t mean they were suddenly going to become best friends, or confidantes, but the bitterness she’d felt about another woman muscling in on her life, and her children, had all but evaporated. Chloe’s life wasn’t perfect – far from it. And like almost everyone else, her online presence was a façade, aimed at presenting her life in a certain way, which meant it would have been absolute madness for Wendy to envy it, when she had already so much to be thankful for.

11

One moment Danni was standing talking to Zahir about a patient, and the next moment the floor seemed to be rising up to meet her. Putting out a hand in an attempt to steady herself, she took a clinical trolley with her when she went down, causing a horrendous crash in the process that seemed to alert the whole department to what had happened.

‘Oh my God, Danni!’ Esther was at her side within seconds, appearing out of nowhere like Super Girl on a mission to save the day. ‘Are you okay? What happened?’

‘I don’t know, I just went really lightheaded, and it felt like my legs were going to give out from underneath me.’ Danni looked at the chaos around her. ‘And apparently they did.’

‘Don’t you dare even try to get up yet.’ Esther put a hand on Danni’s shoulder to make sure she couldn’t disobey her command.

‘I’m fine. I think I just need a snack or something. My blood sugar has been low at some of my checks.’

‘Maybe, but it could be your blood pressure, or low iron, or… like you say, just that you haven’t eaten recently enough. But, whatever it is, I want to get you checked over properly, so you’renot moving until I’ve got a wheelchair, and then we’re going up to the maternity unit so that they can assess you.’

‘You can be a proper sergeant major sometimes, do you know that?’ Danni couldn’t even pretend to be upset with her friend. Knowing that someone cared as much as Esther did was a gift that she would never take for granted.

‘I’m only looking out for you, because you don’t look out for yourself the way you should. Now promise not to move, while I get you a wheelchair.’

‘I’ll keep a close eye on her.’ Aidan dropped a wink as he looked at Danni, but she knew he’d keep his word. The friends she’d made in her job were like family to her. Working in emergency medicine had a way of bonding people together for life, and she couldn’t have chosen a better group of people to be bonded to.

‘I’ll be two minutes.’ Esther dashed off and Aidan was as good as his word about not letting her stand up. Although he did allow her to sit up, so he could take her blood pressure, asking in his lilting Irish accent whether she and Charlie had found it difficult to pick out a name for the baby, almost certainly in an attempt to distract her from worrying.

‘I want to wait until he arrives. I feel like we’ll just know when we see him.’ She smiled at the look on his face. ‘Clearly you think that’s a mad idea?’

‘We’re probably the mad ones, spending most of our spare time talking about a baby we don’t even know we’re going to get yet.’ Aidan pulled a face. ‘I’m Mr Upbeat most of the time, and getting a positive pregnancy test was obviously huge, but there’s still such a long way to go. Every time the phone rings, or I get a message and see it’s from Ellen, I have to hold my breath until I’m certain it’s not bad news. I wish I was one of those people who could just assume the best until proven otherwise, but every so often I get this creeping fear.’

‘Me too.’ It was a relief to Danni to be able to admit it to someone and to know they understood. She and Aidan had shared some of their fears before, and she didn’t have to pretend around him that she always felt positive. ‘I don’t know why I can’t be more like Charlie; he looks on the bright side of everything. But we know where it comes from, don’t we? And sadly, we also know that not all childhoods are happy ones.’

‘You’re not wrong, but we can learn from the mistakes our parents made and be all the better at it for our own kids.’ Aidan pulled another face. ‘Do I sound convincing, because I’m trying to convince myself!’

‘You’ll be a great dad, I know you will and I’m not so worried about that bit. I just wish I could see that the baby’s all right. I keep saying to Charlie that there should be a zip or something I can open, so I can have a little peek inside and make sure he’s okay.’ Danni laughed again. ‘But Charlie reckons I’d look all the time and it would be like when someone opens the oven door too often to check on a cake. The baby wouldn’t get cooked properly.’

‘We’re both in for our share of soggy bottoms either way, and I can’t wait.’ Aidan squeezed her shoulder. ‘The good news is your blood pressure looks fine.’

‘Does that mean I can get up?’

‘No!’ Esther arrived back just in time to lay down the law, and she and Aidan helped Danni into the wheelchair as Esther delivered her next order. ‘I’ve got my lunch break now, so I’m taking you up to maternity and I’ll treat us both to a portion of chips from the hospital restaurant. It might not be the healthiest option in the world, but it’ll give you a quick energy boost if the midwives say you’re okay to drive yourself home, and it’ll help me get to the end of the shift.’

There was no point Danni saying that she had no intention of going home, unless the midwives insisted. If she was given the all-clear, she’d be heading back to A&E to finish her shift. Theywere already short-staffed as it was. But starting that argument with Esther was something she wasn’t going to do until she had to.

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