Page 15 of Lessons in Love at the Cornish Country Hospital

‘What’s the matter?’ Smoothing her dress, she took on a defensive tone.

‘Am I forcing you into getting married? You keep asking me if I’m sure, but I’m starting to wonder if it’s you who isn’t certain, and I don’t want to put any pressure on you.’ Gary held her gaze, his warm brown eyes filled with nothing but love, and she shook her head. Despite the insecurities she was struggling to shake, she was more certain of her answer than she’d been of anything in a long time.

‘No, I want to marry you, but we don’t need to rush do we?’

‘Are you sure, because if you want to stay living together instead, I can cope with that, as long as it’s forever.’

‘No, I’m sure. I know it’s old fashioned, but I want to saymy husband. I feel fourteen again whenever I say my boyfriend.’ Wendy grinned, and Gary caught her around the waist.

‘You make me feel like I did back then all the time. I never thought I could be this happy again.’ He kissed her, working the magic of making her forget everything else for a little while, the way he always did. All the comparisons with women far more beautiful than she would ever be ceased to exist too, and she promised herself that this time she really wouldn’t be sucked back into another diet. Gary loved her the way she was and she’d already spent far too long fighting against her own body, trying to be something she’d never be. She was going to stay strong and keep working on her self-confidence instead. It was time to break the cycle and lead by example; it was the least she could do for the poor body she’d already put through so much, and even more importantly, for Zara.

She wouldn’t be signing up for wonder weight loss in twelve weeks, or remortgaging the house to buy a dress that mightmake her look like she’d lost thirty pounds. Instead, she wanted to start planning the wedding, and any money she might have wasted on those other things could go towards celebrating with the people they loved the most.

The rush to work the next day, and getting Zara off to college, meant Wendy felt as if she was running to catch up all morning. It wasn’t until lunchtime that she had a moment to start looking at the wedding venue websites she wanted to talk to Gary about. She was so engrossed in her phone as she walked along the corridor, that she almost missed Chloe altogether. She was certain she would have done, if it hadn’t been for the shuddering sigh Chloe had taken, a sob catching in her throat.

‘Are you okay?’ Wendy’s eyes drifted to the small baby bump that Chloe was cradling with one hand.

‘I’m scared.’ They were just two words, but they conveyed so much, and the expression on Chloe’s face said even more. She wasn’t just scared, she was terrified, and her eyes were swollen from crying. She might not want to open up to her partner’s ex-wife, any more than she already had, but either way, Wendy couldn’t leave her standing in the corridor.

‘It’s going to be okay. Whatever you’re scared of, there are people who can help.’ Wendy had no idea what lay at the root of the other woman’s fears, but she needed to say something to help her, the way she would have done if it had been one of her own girls standing in front of her. ‘Do you want to come and sit down for a little while? I don’t think you should drive anywhere until you’re feeling a bit better. We can go to my office, or get a drink in the restaurant.’

‘A hot drink would be good; I can’t seem to stop shivering.’ As Chloe spoke, Wendy couldn’t help noticing the shakiness of her voice, or the goose pimples that had broken out all over her arms. It was a warm day, almost stifling in some parts of the hospital, so the reason Chloe couldn’t get warm had nothing to do with the temperature.

‘Come on then, let’s go and get you a drink and then you can tell me if there’s someone you want me to call.’ Wendy turned towards Chloe, who seemed frozen to the spot, until she gently took hold of her elbow, guiding her down the corridor towards King Arthur’s Table, a name the hospital restaurant could never hope to live up to.

By the time Wendy had brought a hot chocolate over to Chloe, her eyes already looked less raw from crying than they had a few minutes earlier, but she was still wearing that same dazed expression she’d had in the corridor, as if she was searching for someone in the distance, who hadn’t yet come into view.

‘Here you go.’ Wendy set the cup down on the table in front of her, suddenly feeling awkward. Whenever they’d spoken before, the subject of their conversations had always been the girls. It was the only reason Wendy could have imagined them ever needing to talk, and now, in the wake of Chloe’s obvious distress, she had no idea what to say. She had to say something, though. ‘So… is there someone I can call for you?’

It was such a stupid question. Gary had recounted stories about the difficult calls he’d sometimes had to make to patients’ relatives in his job, but Chloe had a mobile phone. It wasn’t like she’d been taken into A&E, and her phone had been left behind at the scene of an accident, or she was too poorly tobe able to make the call herself. But Chloe’s reaction had taken Wendy by surprise and she didn’t just shake her head to decline the unnecessary offer; a fresh crop of tears filled her eyes, the first one plopping down on to the table in front of her almost instantly.

‘Oh, I’m sorry, sweetheart.’ The term of endearment had come out of nowhere, but in that moment it felt entirely natural, as Wendy reached out for the other woman’s hand. ‘I’m useless at this, it’s why I’m in housekeeping and not medicine. Oh, and because being a nurse sometimes involves having to touch people’s feet, I can’t stand feet.’

Wendy was babbling, desperately trying to find the right thing to say and failing horribly, but Chloe’s expression had suddenly changed, and she laughed through her tears. ‘I keep thinking how amazing the midwives caring for me are. The things they have to look at all day long…’

Chloe’s expression flipped back again, and something inside Wendy’s stomach flipped over too. This had to be about the baby.

‘Is that where you’ve been, to see the midwife?’

‘I need extra checks. I’ve been telling everyone my scans have been clear, but they found something wrong.’ The fear in Chloe’s eyes was so naked now, it made Wendy catch her breath. Guilt washed over her too, for the thoughts that had crossed her mind when she’d first heard Mike and Chloe were expecting a child. But the baby had just been a concept then, an unwelcome idea, not the reality presented by Chloe’s growing bump, or the flickering heartbeat Wendy had seen on one of the scan videos Chloe had posted on her Instagram account. She didn’t want to wish that baby away, despite the twinge of envy she felt every time the girls talked about their little brother with excitement in their voices. But it still felt as though those unwelcome thoughts, which had kept Wendy awake in the beginning, were somehowresponsible for what Chloe was going through now. She had to force herself to ask the obvious question, worried that Chloe would see right through her concern to the bitterness that had coloured her reaction when she’d first heard Mike was having another child.

‘Is it the baby?’

‘No, he’s okay. But they’ve found something on one of my ovaries.’ Chloe glanced up, suddenly looking barely more than a child herself.

‘Is it…’ This time Wendy couldn’t bring herself to say the word, but the goose pimples she hadn’t been able to believe Chloe was experiencing had broken out on her skin too.

‘They’re almost certain it’s a benign cyst, but my mum died from ovarian cancer and I can’t help worrying that they’ve got it wrong.’

‘That must be so scary.’ Wendy’s chest ached as she looked at the young woman in front of her, who desperately needed the mother she’d lost far too soon. ‘Are there any checks they can run to put your mind at rest?’

‘They’re monitoring it to check if it grows, and if it does they want to remove it while I’m still pregnant. They’re saying the risk of anything happening to the baby is really low, but I can’t lose bean. He’s the only family I’ve got.’

‘No, he isn’t. You’ve got the girls and Mike.’ It was weird how quickly things could change. Half an hour ago, Wendy’s throat would probably have constricted at the thought of someone else laying claim to her daughters, but it was true. Chloe had done nothing but welcome Alice and Zara with open arms, and show them the kind of love that Wendy knew deep down she should be eternally grateful for, even when it was hard to share them. ‘What does Mike say about the operation?’

‘He doesn’t know. He was too busy to come to the twenty-week scan, which he knew was the most important. He had ameeting he couldn’t miss apparently. It was probably on the golf course; that’s if I’m lucky.’ Chloe caught Wendy’s eye and an unspoken understanding passed between them. ‘So, I haven’t told him about the cyst, because he didn’t even care enough to ask. He just assumed everything was okay, because that’s the way life always turns out for him. As long as it doesn’t affect Mike and what he wants to do, nothing else matters. I’m scared about the cyst, and about losing bean, but I’m also terrified that I’m having a baby with a man who’s exactly like my father. I thought I’d finally found someone who cared about me.’

‘I sure Mike cares about you…’ Wendy trailed off for a second time. It was hard to justify the behaviour of a man whose actions were indefensible, especially when she knew Mike far too well to be able to assume he had the best of intentions towards Chloe and the baby.

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