Page 14 of Lessons in Love at the Cornish Country Hospital

‘Can I tell them?’ Isla directed the question at Amy, who pulled a face for a moment before nodding.

‘I don’t suppose it matters. It’s hardly a secret, is it?’

‘No, but it is a claim to fame most of us will never even get close to.’ Isla leant forward conspiratorially. ‘Guess who Lijah Byrne’s first love was?’

Even before Danni could open her mouth, Amy interjected. ‘I didn’t say I was his first love, I said I was his first girlfriend.’

‘Really!’ Esther’s eyes shot open in surprise. ‘So does that mean some of his songs are about you?’

‘I highly doubt it.’ Amy shrugged. ‘He’s probably forgotten I even existed. After all, he has thousands of people throwing themselves at him now. When I knew him, he was cute in a geeky way, obsessed with music and always making up melodies. I never dreamt he’d make it big, and I don’t think he did either.’

‘Is he as lovely as he seems to be on TV? None of the fame appears to have gone to his head.’ Danni found it fascinating that Amy had never mentioned knowing Lijah, given that he was one of the most famous musicians around, but the younger woman just shrugged again.

‘He was always really genuine and down-to-earth when I knew him, but he didn’t have any cause not to be, given that his career back then consisted of busking and delivering theThree Ports Newson his weekly paper round.’ Amy laughed. ‘He was a nice guy, though, and I like to think fame wouldn’t have changed him that much, but I haven’t spoken to him in years.’

‘I keep telling her she should get in touch.’ Isla gave Amy a pointed look. ‘What’s the worst that could happen?’

‘A restraining order?’ Amy laughed again and stood up, signalling the end of the conversation. ‘I’m going to get a drink; what does everyone else want?’

By the time Amy had got back with the drinks, the conversation had moved on, and she seemed relieved at the change of topic. Maybe Danni wasn’t the only one who’d decided to focus on looking forward, in order to move on from the past.

‘Here you go.’ Esther’s dad set down two Belgian waffles piled high with cream, strawberries and chocolate sauce in front of Danni and his daughter.

‘You shouldn’t be waiting on us, Patrick, you should be letting us look after you.’ Danni’s admonishment was gentle and the truth was it was lovely to see him looking so well. It had been a tough twelve months for him and Esther’s mother, Caroline, but he was now in remission from the prostate cancer which he’d tried to keep secret, and which had pushed their marriage to the edge as a result.

‘You two ran around after me and Caroline non-stop during the treatment. The least we can do is repay the favour now that I’m almost back to my old self.’

‘Yes, and our girls are the ones who need looking after now.’ Caroline’s eyes met Danni’s for a moment. It was a term she’d used to describe the two of them almost from the start of their friendship. Esther’s parents and grandparents had welcomed her into their family, as if she really was part of it, and she loved them for it. ‘You’re both so busy with work, Esther’s got so much on with planning the wedding, and you need to be taken care of even more, with the baby so close to arriving. I just can’t wait until he’s here!’

‘Charlie and I were talking about it, and we wondered if you and Patrick would be willing to be the baby’s godparents, alongside Esther and Joe?’

‘Willing to? We’d be honoured, wouldn’t we, Patrick?’ Caroline was beaming.

‘We really would.’ Patrick wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. Like Danni, his emotions were much closer to the surface these days.

‘The only trouble is, we’re not sure what that will look like yet and whether we’ll do the whole church thing, so in the meantime I wondered if you’d mind filling in for the vacant Nana and Grandpa position on my side. Charlie’s got two sets of parents, but the first thing my mother said when I told her I was pregnant was not to expect her to babysit. The second was that she wanted the baby to call her Nikki. Although I don’t suppose he’ll call her anything much, given how infrequently he’s likely to see her.’ Danni tried to smile, but it came out a bit wonky, and Caroline wrapped her arms around her.

‘You’ve got no idea how much we’d love that, and we really do see you as our second daughter. We always wanted another child, not least so that Esther would grow up with a built-in best friend, but it didn’t work out that way. At least we thought it hadn’t, but then you came into our lives and it was as if it was always meant to be. Esther finally had the best friend we’d always wanted for her, and you filled the vacant position in our family, like you were made to be there.’

‘This baby is going to feel so lucky to have you; I know I do.’ Danni rested her head against Caroline’s shoulder for a moment and Esther reached out and squeezed her hand. She could have been jealous of the relationship Danni had built with her parents, but she’d always said how happy it made her. Danni might not have been born into their family, or have been fortunate enough to have a mother like Caroline, but her life was filled with people whochoseto love her and she knew how lucky that made her.

10

Wendy was scrolling on her phone, but every so often she glanced furtively around her to make sure no one was looking. She was doing something she’d promised herself she’d stop doing, and looking at things that made her feel so guilty her face had gone hot. But staying away from diet advice, and off the sites that claimed they had the answer to her finally getting a so-called bikini body, was much harder than she’d imagined. Especially now Gary had proposed. She’d wondered if it was a knee-jerk reaction to his accident, and his obvious confusion in the wake of his head injury. But he’d mentioned it again three times, and had assured her that there was nothing he wanted more, and when she’d finally realised her meant it, there’d been no hesitation in her answer.

When she’d said yes, he’d swept her into his arms, before stopping and looking at her. She hated the place her mind had gone to in that moment, immediately thinking he must be comparing her to his first wife. Deep down, she knew that was her own insecurities talking, but it didn’t stop her imagining how she’d look in the wedding photos, compared to the pictures of his first wife’s recent wedding. It was how Wendy had foundherself scrolling through photos on Gary’s ex-wife’s Facebook page, trying to imagine a scenario in which she might look half as good as Rachel in her Net-A-Porter dress that a quick Google search revealed had cost more than Wendy’s car. But even if she had been able to spend almost eight thousand pounds on a dress, she still wouldn’t have looked anything like Rachel, never mind Chloe. She was probably thirty pounds heavier than both of them, and six inches shorter than Chloe.

She’d started to look at wedding dresses for the more mature bride instead. Most of the suggestions of tea-length, 1950s-style dresses, or well-fitted suits were a world away from the fantasy she had of what she wanted to look like. Whatever she wore, she’d come off second best again, and the thought of doing that on what was supposed to be the happiest day of their lives together made her weaken her resolve. All she wanted was one photograph of their wedding she’d be happy to have up on the wall. And the advertisement that had just popped up seemed to promise it all.

Think you’ve tried every diet going? Then this one’s for you. In three months you could lose more than forty pounds! It’s changed my life, let it change yours too! It really works!!!

Wendy clicked on the link at the bottom of the post, which took her to a website filled with before and after photos of women who’d looked like she did now, but who just months later were posing by a poolside in swimsuits that Wendy wouldn’t have got over one thigh. She clicked on a video. One of the women talked about how different this diet was and how it had changed her relationship with food forever. According to the successful slimmer sharing her story in the video, all she needed to do to maintain her weight loss after the initial three months was to make sure she had three of the company’s ketone drinks aday, and then she just ate normally. Even as a little voice inside Wendy’s head whispered to her that she’d been here before and ought to know better, a louder voice was growing in excitement. Maybe this really was the one. After all, these other dieters had all failed before and this diet had turned things around for them. What did she have to lose, other than the weight she’d tried a hundred times to shift before? Okay, so it was an expensive programme, and the initial twelve weeks consisted of a diet made up of what looked like astronauts’ food. She’d start straight away on drinkable ketones to suppress her appetite, and continue with those once she was at her goal weight.

Just one more diet couldn’t hurt, as long as she kept it quiet and made sure Zara didn’t know what she was doing. It was the worst kind of hypocrisy, she couldn’t deny that. It was already eating her up inside that she wasn’t the one helping Zara, even though she knew it was in her daughter’s best interests. Chloe had been through the same experience, and she was someone Zara could relate to. The chances were that Chloe would also be far more successful at treading the fine line between encouraging Zara to open up, yet not coming off like she knew what was best for her. Everything Wendy had read suggested that trying to give advice or act like the answers were easy, was the worst possible thing someone could do. The trouble was, as a mother, she always wanted to fix her girls’ problems, so being as hands-off with Zara as she was had been incredibly difficult.

What she hadn’t admitted to anyone, even herself, was that a lot of the symptoms of eating disorders had resonated with her. At the very least she had disordered eating from years of yo-yo dieting, and telling herself that the next diet might be the one that worked. It was crazy how easily she could slip back into such toxic habits, but instead of facing up to it, she was still trying to make excuses for why just one more time couldn’t hurt.

It wasn’t until she finally looked up that she realised that Gary had been watching her. Dropping her phone on to the coffee table, she got to her feet.

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