Page 7 of A Found Family at the Cornish Country Hospital

‘It’ll certainly make an impression if you can repeat that trick!’ Caitlin grinned, before reaching out to put her hand over his. ‘But anyone who meets you is going to want to be your surrogate. I know I would if I didn’t have a womb that expels embryos almost as fast as your nose fires out peas.’

Even as they started laughing again, he knew they probably shouldn’t have been, because there was nothing funny about losing a longed-for pregnancy, or not being certain if you’d ever be able to have a baby at all. But one thing Aidan had learnt in life was that sometimes, if you didn’t laugh, the only alternative was to cry. He might be longing to swap lie-ins for sleepless nights, and his two-seater MG for a people carrier, but he wouldn’t ever be willing to swap laughter for tears. Whatever happened, he and Jase had to find a way of surviving this and coming out the other side as the same people they’d been before, even if they didn’t have a baby in their arms.

The Port Agnes midwives had decided to set up the support group when a couple of them had begun their own infertility investigations and had discovered there weren’t any groups in the Three Ports area. It seemed ironic to Aidan that women whose whole careers centred on pregnancy and birth ran an infertility support group, and even more so that Jess – the midwife who now headed up the group – had never managed to have a biological child of her own. But it was also what made the group so inclusive. Jess had eventually adopted two children, and there were members who were hoping to become parents by a whole range of means – from IVF and surrogacy, to fostering and adoption. The process wasn’t what bound them together, it was the common outcome they were all desperately hoping to achieve.

‘Okay everyone, if you can just listen up for a minute please.’ Jess addressed the whole room, as the babble of chatter ebbed away. ‘As you all know, from time to time, I manage to get anexpert to come in and talk to us about a particular issue related to infertility and I’m thrilled that today is one of those days.’

‘If you’re bringing in the woman who does the sperm counts at my clinic, to tell us she could count my swimmers on the fingers of one hand, then I’m out of here.’ Kane, who’d been undergoing ICSI with his wife since discovering that his sperm count was almost non-existent, raised his palms up to the ceiling. He was just one more member of the group using humour to try and make it through an incredibly difficult situation.

‘You’ll be pleased to hear it’s not her, Kane.’ As Jess scanned the room, her gaze settled on Aidan for just a fraction longer than it had seemed to settle on anyone else. ‘Instead, we’ll be joined by Jacinda, a graduate of the group who is now expecting her second baby with the same surrogate who carried her son. Jacinda will be talking to us about her experience of using an overseas surrogate from Georgia. I know there are a couple of members of the group currently pursuing surrogacy, and several more who might consider it, depending on the outcome of their current treatment. So I thought it would be great to hear what it was like for her. Welcome Jacinda, and thanks so much for coming along.’

Jess hugged the dark-haired woman who’d got up from a chair to her right, and Aidan muttered under his breath as he glanced at his watch. ‘Please hurry up, Jase, I don’t want you to miss this.’

It was five-thirty and the final bell had rung at his husband’s school over two hours before, but as a headteacher, the end of the day didn’t coincide with the children going home. The school was overdue an Ofsted inspection, and Aidan just hoped the inspectors wouldn’t coincide their visit with the run-up to the interview at the clinic. Although he had a horrible feeling they would.

‘As Jess said, I’m Jacinda.’ The woman smiled. ‘And it feels really weird being back here. For a long time, I thought I was never going to graduate from the group and it was one of the reasons why I wanted to come along tonight. Even though public speaking would make my ovaries shrivel, if I still had any!’

‘She’s one of us.’ As Caitlin leant closer to Aidan and whispered the words, he knew exactly what she meant. Jacinda had the same gallows humour almost all of the group possessed.

Normally Aidan would have shot back a jokey comment, but he didn’t want to miss anything Jacinda said, and she was looking in his direction as she spoke again. ‘I was born without a womb and, unfortunately, that wasn’t the end of my bad luck. I suffered hyperstimulation during treatment, which resulted in ovarian torsion.’

‘Ovarian torsion is when the ovary, and sometimes the fallopian tubes, twist. It cuts off the blood supply, which in Jacinda’s case unfortunately resulted in the loss of her right ovary.’ Jess reached out and squeezed Jacinda’s arm. ‘But if you’re going through IVF and you’re worried about hyperstimulation, ovarian torsion is a very rare side effect.’

‘Yep, with odds like mine, I should have won the lottery, but instead I’ve got a built-in noughts and crosses grid on my belly from all my surgery scars.’ Jacinda shrugged, but she couldn’t stop the slight catch in her voice. ‘After that round of treatment, I was really nervous about trying for egg collection again, but we got an amazing twenty-five eggs the second time around. Those little pieces of hope turned out to be even more precious than I imagined they would be, because six months later I suffered a burst cyst and lost my right ovary. Thankfully, by then, we’d managed to freeze nine good quality embryos and we were trying to get pregnant, with the help of our wonderful surrogate.’

‘Can I ask how you found your surrogate, and how you knew she was the right person?’ Aidan was open to the idea of findinga surrogate from outside the UK, but he knew Jase had a lot of apprehension about it, which was another reason he wished his husband was there.

‘We wanted to keep our surrogacy journey private, because we were concerned about the reaction of some of our family members. That was part of the reason we decided to use an overseas surrogate, but the main motivation was the availability of UK-based surrogates. I couldn’t bear the wait to find a match here and, by widening the net, I felt like I could do more to make it happen.’ Jacinda took a deep breath. ‘As for how we knew she was right for us, it’s hard to explain. All I can say, is that when we first met, I knew I could trust Olena. That was the biggest thing for me. I was putting my chance of having a baby into this woman’s hands and entrusting her with my precious embryo. I’ve got friends I’ve known for years, who I wouldn’t have felt able to place that kind of trust in. If you asked me to list the reasons why I felt able to do that with Olena, I don’t think I could come up with something that would make sense to anyone else. I just felt it in my bones.’

‘Is it okay to ask something really personal?’ Louise, another member of the group, who was in her late forties and who’d been trying for a baby for over a decade, put up her hand as she spoke.

‘Of course.’ Jacinda smiled. ‘You know what it’s like once you start this journey. No topic is off limits.’

‘You’re so right. I’ve been asked everything from how often I’m having sex with my partner, to whether I knew I had a bulky uterus!’ Louise shook her head. ‘So I’m really sorry that I’m asking this, but did both of your pregnancies result from the embryos you got, or did you have to go down the egg donation route in the end? I’ve finally had to accept that the age of my eggs is probably not going to result in a successful pregnancy, and so the next stage is deciding on a donor. And I wondered if that’s something you had to do too?’

‘Both pregnancies ended up being from those embryos I had frozen, but I wanted to be prepared to make that decision if none of our embryos had resulted in a successful pregnancy. My best friend had offered to donate eggs, and there were lots of reasons why that appealed, and some things that made me terrified about the idea. In the end, we didn’t have to pursue it, but I guess the biggest decision is whether you choose a known or anonymous donor. You also need to bear in mind that if you’re having treatment overseas, some countries don’t allow the use of known donors. Then there’s the question of whether anyone you know will be generous enough to make the offer in the first place.’ Jacinda breathed out slowly. ‘Despite my fears, I’m almost certain I’d have accepted my best friend’s offer, because any child I had as a result would know how much love had gone into creating them. Not just between myself and my husband, but between me and Aisha. But only you can know what feels right for you.’

Everyone turned to look, as the door to the coffee shop swung open, and Jase crashed through, knocking over a chair with his laptop bag as he did. Aidan might have an always-late, clumsy-as-hell husband, but Jase was the only person in the world he wanted to raise a child with. And suddenly he was just as certain that he wanted to take up Isla’s offer to donate her eggs, even if it meant moving clinics and delaying the prospect of finding a surrogate for a bit longer, because of the potential complications of using a known donor. As Jacinda had said, sometimes you just knew. He’d never been more certain of anything in his life, and he couldn’t wait to tell Jase that they might be a step closer to fulfilling their dream. He only hoped his husband felt just as sure.

5

‘I don’t know how Gwen has persuaded me to do this.’ Aidan looked at his reflection in the mirror and shuddered. ‘Plaid plus fours, a green and yellow polo shirt, and alet’s par-teegolf visor… there’s no one else on earth who could ever have persuaded me to wear this outfit. When I was at school, I used to think I was going to be the next Jean Paul Gaultier. That bloody art college has got a lot to answer for, not letting me in.’

‘But then A&E would have missed out on one of its finest.’ Jase put an arm around his shoulder and grinned. ‘Although describing you as one of the finest while you’re wearing that is a bit of a stretch.’

‘You’re not allowed to be rude, when I’m wearing this outfit to raise money for charity.’

‘Charity? I thought you were wearing it for a bet!’ Jase ducked out of the way, but Aidan still managed to catch hold of him, circling his arms around his waist.

‘You know full well that Gwen designated whacky golf outfits as the dress code for this year’s hospital fundraiser, and this charming ensemble has got me a lot of sponsorship.’

‘It’ll get you a lot of funny looks too.’ Jase grinned again. ‘But I love you, even if you do look like you got dressed in an Oxfam shop, during a power cut.’

‘You’re going to pay for that comment.’ Aidan pulled him closer, but he couldn’t keep the smile off his face.

‘Oh yeah, how?’

‘I’m going to wear this every time we go out for the next six months.’

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