Page 4 of A Found Family at the Cornish Country Hospital

‘You really should try and get some rest.’ Aidan’s voice was gentle but insistent, as he looked at Corinne. ‘The team on the children’s ward are brilliant, I promise they’ll call you if there’s any change; and you’ll only be five minutes away. Felix needs you to look after yourself too, so that you can be there for him.’

‘I just keep thinking I should have brought him in sooner.’ Her face looked blotchy and sore, like she’d been crying all day, which she probably had. ‘It says online there’s a chance he might have lost his hearing, or have some other kind of irreparable damage. If I’d acted sooner there might have been less chance of complications.’

‘You don’t even know if there are any complications yet.’ Jack tried to comfort her, but she didn’t seem capable of hearing him.

‘But if there are, it will be my fault!’

‘No it won’t.’ Aidan put a hand on her arm. ‘He’s going to be going home with you, because the two of you knew your baby well enough to spot that something wasn’t right early on, and you made sure he got the help he needed. As for any complications, you can deal with them if and when they arise, but whatever they are you’ll adapt. My husband was born with profound hearing loss as a result of an infection his mother was exposed to during her pregnancy. He’s never let it hold him back from doing anything he wanted to do, and he’s the best person I’ve ever met. Whatever complications your little boy has, if there are any, he’s still Felix and you’re all going to be okay. I promise.’

‘I needed to hear that, thank you.’ Corinne pulled away from Jack and threw her arms around Aidan. ‘I know I’m being ridiculous, and I should just be glad we’re not going to lose Felix, but I looked at what the complications could be, and I felt so guilty. But you’re right, whatever we have to deal with, we’ll do it as a family, and he’s going to be the same special little boy he’s always been, either way.’

‘In my experience, the people who have to deal with the biggest challenges in life are often the most amazing.’ Aidan had meant every word he’d said about Jase; his husband really was the best person he’d ever met. It was why one of the questions they’d been asked to think about in preparation for their interview with the surrogacy agency had been easier to answer than it might be for most people. And they knew exactly what action they’d want to take if they conceived a child who might be born with a disability of any kind. Aidan would never judge other people for those kinds of decisions, but he was certain that –with Jase by his side – they could cope with whatever life threw at them.

‘Thank you again.’ Jack clapped a hand on Aidan’s back. All that mattered was that Felix had made it through, and whatever complications did or didn’t arise, it was going to change the family’s life forever, the way only a life-threatening incident ever really could. Nothing would ever be taken for granted again, and sometimes that could be a very good thing.

After he’d spoken to Jack and Corinne, Aidan had been able to see Felix, before going down to meet the others at the hospital shop, where Danni immediately set down a drink on the table in front of him. The engagement ring that her fiancé, Charlie, had given her just a few weeks before, caught the light as she did. ‘Here you go, you’ve finally got the skinny latte you asked me for an hour into your shift! Although I also got you a king-size Twix, because I know they’re your favourites and it’s been a hell of a day.’

‘Dan, I think I might actually love you. And if I wasn’t gay, and already married, I’d get down on one knee, right here, right now.’ He ripped open the packet and dunked half the Twix into his coffee. ‘Just don’t tell Jase I’m cheating on the diet, because I honestly think he’d take it harder than if I was cheating on him.’

‘We won’t breathe a word.’ Esther mimed zipping her mouth shut, as she sat down opposite Aidan, with Danni and Isla either side of him.

‘It was Gwen’s suggestion anyway.’ Danni grinned. ‘She said you look like you couldn’t fight your way out of a paper bag, and that a skinny latte wasn’t going to put any lead back in your pencil. Her words, not mine. So it was a choice between the Twix, or one of Gwen’s ten-minute motivational shake up and wake up routines.’

‘The Twix was definitely the right choice. Last time Gwen tried to get me to do one of those she said it was to sort out myposture, so I didn’t end up with a hunch back.’ Aidan shook his head, but he couldn’t help laughing. ‘I mean I love Gwen to bits, but sometimes she can be too honest.’

‘She can but she’s still who I want to be when I grow up.’ Esther smiled, but suddenly her expression changed. ‘How’s Felix doing? Did you get to see him?’

‘Yes, and he’s doing remarkably well, thank goodness. Even after all these years it amazes me how resilient kids can be.’ Aidan dunked the Twix into his coffee for a second time. ‘Although I’m not sure the same can be said of his mum and dad. They were completely wrung out.’

‘That’s parenthood for you. From the moment a baby is conceived it’s nothing but worry.’ Danni’s tone was casual, but Aidan wasn’t buying it. He hadn’t missed the look she’d exchanged with her best friend, either.

‘Have you got something to tell us?’

‘No, of course not, I…’ Danni exchanged another look with Esther, and then a huge smile spread across her face. ‘Oh sod it, I know you’re supposed to keep these things quiet for the first twelve weeks, just in case, but how can I not tell you guys? If anything goes wrong, I’m going to need all the support I can get. It’s very early days, though, so I’d like to keep it to just us for now and I’ll tell the rest of the team after the first scan.’

‘Congratulations, that’s amazing!’ Isla got in first, jumping to her feet and moving past Aidan to give Danni a hug. ‘Although I feel like I shouldn’t be listening to the conversation, when I haven’t been in the team for as long as nearly everyone else.’

‘In this place we all know each other’s secrets really quickly.’ Danni shrugged. ‘And some people just fit in and feel like old friends straight away, like you have. Although you are going to have to be willing to share all of your secrets with us too.’

‘Oh I promise I will, as soon as there’s anything interesting to tell.’ Isla smiled.

‘That’s amazing news, Dan. I’m so happy for you, and you and Charlie are going to make the best parents. But I still can’t believe it’s happened so quickly.’ Aidan really was delighted for them, even if he was trying to push down the tiny bit of envy that was in danger of rising up inside him. He’d had no idea Danni and Charlie were even thinking about parenthood, and yet they were already expecting a baby. It was the only thing he and Jase seemed to have talked about for almost a year, and nothing about the process was going to be easy for them. He was thrilled that such a lovely couple would soon become a family, but he desperately wanted it for him and Jase too. He could already picture a little one running around, with Jase’s curls, and the same smile that could light up a room. But it wouldn’t bother him one bit if they didn’t look like Jase, or share Aidan’s sandy blond hair, blue eyes and year-round freckles. All that mattered was that the child would be theirs, and he just had to hold on to the hope that they’d get there somehow.

‘The only reason I didn’t tell you sooner was because I felt guilty about how quickly it happened, when you and Jase are going to have to jump through so many hoops to get there.’ It was almost as if Danni could read his mind, as she reached out to touch his arm. ‘I didn’t think it was going to be easy for us. I’m nearly forty, and we knew we couldn’t hang around. So we decided to start trying once we got engaged, thinking that would give us six months before the wedding, and then we could ask for some help straight afterwards, if we needed it. I didn’t even let myself imagine it happening this quickly, so it was all a bit of a shock, and we’ve got a long way to go.’

‘Don’t you dare feel guilty on my account!’ Aidan pulled her into his arms, not even caring when the second finger of his Twix got knocked onto the floor. ‘No one deserves their happy-ever-after more than you do, and what kid isn’t going to love havinga children’s author as a father, not to mention a mum who can make every scuffed knee or grazed elbow better?’

‘It’s going to happen for you soon too, I know it.’ Danni’s tone brooked no argument and he hoped to God her certainty wouldn’t turn out to be misplaced. ‘I’m not facing those scary parent and toddler groups on my own. I’ll need you for company.’

‘It’s nice to know what you want me for!’ Aidan laughed, but he couldn’t admit just how much he hoped they’d get to hang out together, doing that sort of thing. He had to hold on to the idea that it might not, but it was getting harder and harder to imagine a life without children, with each step he and Jase took towards fulfilling their dream.

‘Have they said how long it might take to find you a match once you’re approved by the surrogacy agency?’ Esther made it sound as though approval was a foregone conclusion, but it was just one of the many barriers they needed to negotiate.

‘I don’t think there’s any way of knowing. We need to find a surrogate who’s willing to be a host for donor eggs, because when we looked into all the options, that felt most right for us. Having someone carrying our child, using their own eggs, seemed like we’d be doubling the risk of them developing a bond they couldn’t let go of. That might not be true, but it’s just the way it felt to us. Although even deciding what to do about the egg donation is another dilemma. They’ve talked to us about egg sharing with a woman who’s trying to get pregnant herself, to keep the costs down, but I don’t know if that’s the right route for us. What if we get a baby at the end, and she doesn’t? I don’t know if that’s something we’ll be able to cope with. There’s the option of an unknown donor through the clinic, but any child we had would be able to trace the donor in the future if they want to, and I’d prefer to know a bit more about that person than the clinic would be able to tell us. It’s a minefield, and if it wasn’t forJess’s infertility support group, I think I might have given up by now.’

‘I’ll be your donor.’ When Isla spoke, the words just seemed to hang there, and for a few seconds Aidan thought he’d imagined them. But she was looking at him so intently he knew he hadn’t. As tempting as it was to take her at her word, and believe it really could be as simple as that, he couldn’t. People could be incredibly kind and their friendship had developed quite quickly in the past six months or so, but she had no idea what she was promising.

‘That’s so sweet of you, but it’s not the kind of offer you can make without really thinking about it. There are long-term implications, now that donors aren’t anonymous any more, then there’s the whole can of worms with DNA websites. It’s a complicated issue.’

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