Page 19 of Welcome to the Cornish Country Hospital

‘It just feels like the right time. After all, as you just so kindly reminded me, before long I’m going to be closer to forty than thirty!’

‘In that case, I’m coming with you, because this has got to be done right. And before I met Jase, I was an online dating sensei.’

‘Right, we’re getting out of here now, before you change your mind.’ Esther linked one arm through Danni’s and Aidan moved to her other side, all but frogmarching her out of the bar. It was too late to pull out now, and the truth was she didn’t want to. She’d tried everything else she could think of to move on from Lucas, and there was nothing left to lose. But if she didn’t do it, there was every chance she could end up just like Connie, letting the decades pass her by. Suddenly the prospect of launching herself into the world of online dating didn’t seem so scary after all.

* * *

‘I wish we could just see a few of the profiles, so we know whether it’s even worth bothering to go to all the hassle of signing up.’ Danni could tell from the expression on Aidan’s face what his response was going to be, before he even opened his mouth.

‘The whole point is that you have to sign up first before you can start checking out other people’s profiles on this site. That way, if you like what you see, you can let them know straight away.’

‘I don’t know what to write.’ Danni sighed, trying a different tack to get out of something she was already wishing she’d never started. ‘It’s hard to come up with hobbies that sound even remotely interesting, when all I seem to do is work and fall asleep in front of box sets.’

‘Hmm.’ Aidan looked at her, with his head slightly to one side. ‘How to spin this… I know, what about:I have a real passion for my work in medicine, but I love to unwind in front of the latest must-see TV at the end of the day. If I show you my recommendations, will you show me yours?That could work.’

‘Still makes her sound like a workaholic with no energy for anything but TV.’ Esther shook her head. They were talking about her like she wasn’t even there.

‘But I am a workaholic with no energy for anything else except TV.’ Danni shrugged. ‘There’s no point in me pretending otherwise, because they’ll only end up disappointed when they find out the truth.’

‘Maybe if there was someone special in your life, you’d stop being such a workaholic and find the time to try some new things.’ Esther peered over her shoulder at the laptop. ‘You like travelling, and you’re always saying you’d love to do more of that. You like walking, and animals, and you’re good at DIY. Although I definitely don’t think we should put cooking down as one of your skills.’

Esther wrinkled her nose at that last comment and Danni laughed. ‘In my defence, I didn’t know I was having guests tonight and you can only work with the ingredients you’ve got.’

‘Is frozen pizza an ingredient?’ Aidan scrolled further down. ‘Okay, let’s come back to hobbies and interests, and do some of the other questions instead. Here’s one:How would your friends describe you?’

‘Ooh, that’s a good one.’ Esther almost jostled Danni out of the way altogether with her eagerness to look at the screen. ‘What would you say, Aidan?’

‘That she’s got low self-esteem.’ He made it sound so matter of fact, as if he was saying she had brown hair, or hazel eyes. But no one could take low self-esteem as a compliment, especially not someone who had it.

‘Well, thanks.’ Danni bit her lip. Aidan really had been knocking back the truth serum. It wasn’t the first time someone had said it to her. Joe drove her mad sometimes, psychoanalysing every conversation they had. One bit of unwelcome advice had really stuck in her mind. She’d told him about a friend from the hospital in London who kept asking to borrow money. She’d wanted to say no, but couldn’t seem to find the words.

‘Just tell them no, it’s a simple as that.’

‘Not for me it isn’t.’

‘That’s our so-called mother’s fault. She’s why you’ve got such low self-esteem and why you feel the need to be such a people-pleaser. But you don’t have to do those things to make people like you, Dan. The people who really like you do it because they can see how great you are, not because you bend over backwards to make their lives easier. Those people don’t likeyou, they just like what you do for them, or how you make them feel.’

Aidan cleared his throat, jolting her back to the present. ‘I was about to say she’s got low self-esteem, but she shouldn’t have, ’cos she’s brilliant.’ He started typing in the box next to the question and Danni didn’t even try to stop him, because she’d already decided to delete the profile after they’d gone. ‘What about you, Esther? I’ve only known Danni less than a year, but you two have known each other forever.’

‘I was going to say the same, and that it makes me sad she doesn’t realise how great she is, because she’s better than me, she’s better than everyone, and I feel lucky to have her in my life.’

A lump of what felt like concrete seemed to have wedged itself in Danni’s throat. She didn’t deserve Esther’s opinion of her; she didn’t even deserve her friendship. But she needed it more than anything else in her life, and she was determined to hold on to it, whatever it took.

‘Hmm, I think that might be the gin talking and we don’t want to lay it on too thick.’ Aidan grinned, saving her from having to respond. ‘We could say hardworking, and she never asks anyone on the team to do a job she wouldn’t be prepared to do herself, but we don’t want it to sound like a reference either.’

‘God, am I really that boring?’

‘No! You’re funny and kind, and—’ Whatever it was that Esther had been about to add, Aidan cut her off.

‘And you know more about seventies and eighties music than anyone I’ve ever met.’

‘My dad was a massive fan; he played that music every day when I was little. There was no way to escape it.’ Danni still found it hard to listen to certain songs that came on the radio. They had the power to make her feel as if her dad was sitting right there next to her, and it was like a punch in the stomach every time she turned around and realised, all over again, that he was never coming back.

‘There are so many things I could say, but what’s important is—’ For the second time in less than a minute, Esther got cut off, and Danni caught her breath when she suddenly realised that Lucas was standing in the room.

‘Sorry, I did knock, but no one answered, so I thought I’d better just come in.’ If Danni had been harbouring any hope that the next time she saw him, all the feelings would have miraculously disappeared, those hopes were dashed as soon as she looked up. It wasn’t something she’d ever felt with anyone else, and she wasn’t sure she could have put her feelings into words if she’d tried. She had to at least try to act normal. It wasn’t even a surprise arrival; she’d known he was going to come over and pick Esther up after he finished work.

‘Sorry, I’ve got a rowdy crowd in tonight.’ Danni painted on a smile. ‘Can I get you something to drink?’

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