Page 16 of Welcome to the Cornish Country Hospital

Even as the words came out of Connie’s mouth, she wanted to grab them and stuff them back down her throat. Danni was going through that sort of torture, on a daily basis. ‘I’m sorry.’

‘It’s okay and I can see how that would have made it easier to resist contacting him.’ Danni’s eyes were glassy. The poor girl had tried to escape the way Connie had, but even moving to Cornwall hadn’t been enough. ‘I can’t believe you weren’t ever tempted to get in touch with him, even when the internet came along.’

‘Oh, I wanted to, about a hundred times a day.’ Connie sighed. ‘But I told myself I’d made a choice all those years ago and that I had no right to come crashing into the life he’d made for himself. For all I know, he could have spent the last thirty-eight years being blissfully married to the love of his life. And, selfishly, I didn’t want to know that. Ignorance is bliss and I can tell myself that I was the only one he ever really wanted, just like he was the only one for me. I still don’t want to see pictures on Facebook of him and Fiona side by side, though.’

‘There aren’t any.’ It was Danni’s turn to clamp a hand over her mouth. She was clearly prone to blushing, as a flood of bright red swept right up to the roots of her hair. ‘Oh God, I’m sorry, but when I googled his name, I wanted to know if he was still at Trengothern Hall, just in case I needed to deliver the letter, but then I found him on Facebook. There’s no sign of Fiona, or any other partner come to that.’

‘He’s on his own?’ It was almost as if Connie had been holding her breath for the best part of four decades as Danni nodded. When she finally breathed out, she wasn’t sure how to feel. If he was on his own, either Fiona was no longer a part of his life, or she never had been. There was a chance Connie had wasted the last thirty-eight years and given up on her chance to be a mother for something that had never even happened. For a moment it was like she’d forgotten how to breathe altogether, but then she took a long, shuddering breath.

‘Are you okay?’ Danni took hold of Connie’s hand and she managed to nod. ‘I don’t understand why he didn’t try to find you either.’

‘He started writing from the day I left. When I got the first letter, I didn’t reply and, when he wrote the second one, he told me he’d try twenty times, one for every week between me leaving and him marrying Fiona, and then he’d stop. Every single time I got a letter, I wanted to send one straight back telling him how much I missed him, or drive back down here and tell him I felt the same way about him, but I didn’t. This time, he was true to his word, and the twentieth letter was his last.’

‘But you think now’s the right time?’

‘I’ve got no choice. There’s a reason I need to see him. I need to tell him about the child I gave up for adoption. I wrote him a letter in case I got down here and couldn’t find a way of persuading him to meet me, but the plan was always to tell him face to face if I could. The letter was just a back-up; some things warrant more than words on a page. But however he hears it, he’s going to hate me and I deserve it.’

‘He’s not going to hate you. He might be angry at first, but if you tell him what you’ve told me, he’ll understand you did it because you loved him.’

‘If I was in Richard’s shoes, I don’t think I’d be able to forgive what I did. I made my choices, but in doing so I robbed Richard of the chance to make his. Now I’ve got to tell him that the baby he didn’t even know existed is grown up and searching for answers that will lead straight to Richard’s door. I’ve got to speak to him and tell him myself, before someone else does.’ Connie let go of another long breath and looked at Danni. ‘I’ve done some awful things in the name of love, and I know to my cost that secrets always catch up with you in the end. Which means the best advice I can give you is not to keep any.’

She watched as a series of emotions crossed the younger woman’s face. It was too late for Connie to get her happy ever after, when she’d stolen so much from the man she loved. But maybe Danni might still stand a chance of getting hers. And, for some reason, the idea made her feel just the tiniest bit better.

9

‘Are all the A&E staff having a break at the same time, or what?’ Chloe, one of the nurses from Tewyn Ward, grinned as Danni walked into the hospital shop. St Piran’s was small enough for most of the staff to know each other, even if she and Chloe hadn’t joined at the same time and gone through some of their general induction training together. Aidan and Amy, who were both nurses in the A&E department, were already in the shop buying what looked like enough chocolate to feed a small army.

‘I don’t know about these two, but I’m finished for the day.’ Danni returned Chloe’s smile, but she was still reeling from what Connie had told her. The poor woman had longed to be with Richard all these years and had clearly been heartbroken about giving up their child for adoption, yet somehow she’d kept that to herself in a misguided attempt to protect him. If that wasn’t love, she didn’t know what was. But Connie seemed to have painted herself as the villain of the piece and she was clearly scared that Richard would do the same thing when he finally found out the truth. Danni had it easy in comparison. Nothing had been done that couldn’t be undone. She just needed to find a way to fast-forward getting over Lucas. But for now, she was craving a sugar hit. It had been a long day and she needed a boost of energy for the journey home. Sometimes taking the healthy option and having a piece of fruit just couldn’t cut it. That was where the hospital shop came into its own and she’d rugby tackle Aidan to get to the last Star Bar if she had to.

‘We’ve both got two hours to go.’ Amy made it sound like three weeks instead of two hours; the weariness in her voice would have given away how tired she was feeling, even if her face hadn’t. ‘But we’re planning on going out after that, hence all the chocolate. Aidan has promised to be my wingman; even Gary’s coming along. I’m not sitting around waiting to see if Zach decides he’s moving back in for a third time. He’s had his last wobble about committing, as far as I’m concerned.’

‘The best way of getting over one man is to get under another.’ Gwen, who was standing behind the counter, dropped a perfect wink. ‘Although I’ve always preferred getting on top myself.’

‘Yes, Gwen!’ Aidan reached out to give her a high five, dropping some of the bars of chocolate he’d picked up onto the counter in the process.

‘You should come with us, Chloe. And you, Danni.’ Amy looked towards them. ‘I think a few of the others might be coming, and Gary’s threatening to show us his best moves. That’s got to be worth coming along for on its own.’

‘Thanks, but I think I might need an early night.’ Danni’s excuse felt as feeble as it sounded and she’d been about to add something to make it sound less pathetic, when someone touched her arm.

‘Anyone would think you’re stalking me. First you’re up on the ward with one of my patients and then you show up when I’m on a break. Not that I’m complaining.’ Lucas’s smile mirrored the warmth in his voice.

‘I can’t be stalking you, seeing as I was here first.’ Danni knew she sounded defensive despite the failed attempt to keep her tone light.

‘Well, as long as we’re both here, do you want to grab a coffee?’ The Costa Coffee machine in the shop beat anything the hospital restaurant had to offer, regardless of the grand-sounding name the restaurant had been given. King Arthur’s Table made it sound as if there were banquets to be had, but the fact that so many staff raided the hospital shop at break time instead said a lot. There were three bistro-style tables outside the shop, too, which was at the entrance to the hospital, perfectly positioned to watch the world go by, making it feel almost like a pavement café. But even if Lucas had been offering to take her for a coffee on the banks of the Seine, her answer would have been the same.

‘I’m going home. Sorry but it’s been a long day.’

‘Surely you’ve got ten minutes spare for me? Something happened in theatre and I need to offload. You’ve always been the best person I know for that.’ Lucas’s eyes searched her face. She’d lost count of the number of times he’d recounted stories about his working day to her, and she’d always told him what he needed to hear – that any negative issues weren’t his fault. He’d tell her whenever he’d overcome a tricky situation in the operating theatre, too, and she’d be just as generous with her praise as she was with her reassurance. Lucas knew he was a brilliant surgeon, but he seemed to need to hear it from her to believe it. It was something else she put down to him losing his mum and dad. He had no parents whose pride he could bask in and, somewhere along the line, she’d become the person who filled that gap for him.

‘I can’t.’ Danni shrugged, making a spur-of-the-moment decision. Things between them couldn’t fall back into the same pattern they had in London. She needed to put some new restrictions in place, because it didn’t look like Lucas would. ‘I’ve got to go home and take Brenda out, before I get ready to go out on the town with this lot.’

‘You should come, Doc.’ Amy gave Lucas a look that said he’d be more than welcome. ‘It’s going to be a wild night.’

‘As tempting as that sounds, I’m on call until ten tonight and I don’t think I’ll be fit for anything but my bed after that.’

‘If only you were single, I’d have skipped the night out and kept the bed warm for you.’ Amy clearly wasn’t joking when she’d said she was determined not to wait around for Zach. It wasn’t the first time Danni had seen women, and men, react this way to Lucas, but it made her wonder how Esther dealt with it, especially as he just seemed to find it funny.

‘My loss will be someone else’s gain, I’m sure. Just make sure you look after this one.’ Lucas gestured towards Danni. ‘She means a lot to me.’

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