Page 49 of The Light Year

“Both,” Jo decides. Her eyes skim the yard again as she glances at each of her three children. “They grow up in the blink of an eye. But the rest of it really is a little melancholy.”

“Hmm,” Frankie says. She keeps her eyes on Jo’s face as Lucas puts his arms out straight and tries to bend forward over his mother’s arm to grab his own bare toes. “You’re a little young to be going through the change of life, but…”

“It’s not that,” Jo assures her. “And I am a bit young, yes. I’ve got years between me and forty.” She says this, but then pauses and bites her lower lip; with the way time is passing her by, she’ll be celebrating that milestone sooner rather than later. “But I think I’m just looking back at all that’s happened since we moved here, and it’s kind of overwhelming.”

“Oh, sure,” Frankie agrees, taking a sip of her drink and passing Lucas off to Ed as he passes by. “Here you go,” she says to her husband. “He wants some time with Daddy and the guys.”

Ed wanders off proudly, holding the baby outwards like Frankie has been doing, and smiling as he approaches his coworkers with his son in his arms.

“Come on,” Frankie says, taking Jo by the hand. She pulls her over to the patio door and slides it open, leading Jo inside.

“I can’t leave my party, Frankie,” Jo protests, though it’s not very fervent.

“Just give me five minutes.” Frankie is still holding her hand, and she leads her down the hallway to the main bedroom, pointing at the foot of the perfectly made bed as she closes the door. “Okay, now talk.”

Jo sits on the edge of the bed, hands resting sloppily in her lap, shoulders hunched. “Talk about what?”

Frankie sits next to her gingerly. “Anything. Everything. I’ve been busy keeping that chunky baby fed and entertained since Thanksgiving, and now we’re into a whole new season, and I want to know what’s going on with you.”

Jo exhales like she’s letting go of a heavy weight she’s been holding. “Oh, gosh.” She looks up at the ceiling, trying to decide whether she should burden Frankie with any of the things that have been going on in her life. Ever since Lucas was born, they’ve put their late evening walks on pause, which Jo totally understands. They talk, sure, and they see one another, but most of their chatter is about diapers and feedings and sleep schedules, and Jo has purposely taken a backseat to talking about the important details of motherhood.

“How was the cruise?” Frankie asks.

Jo can feel her eyes on the side of her face as she waits for an answer. Outside the bedroom window, the party rages on, andJo isn’t even sure whether anyone misses her. Right now, she doesn’t much care.

“The cruise was, overall, quite good,” Jo admits. “We talked about the kids and our marriage, and… I confronted him about Jeanie Florence.”

Frankie’s jaw drops and she shakes her head. “Whoa. I wasn’t expecting that. Did it ruin the trip?”

Jo looks up towards the window, which is framed by a pair of heavy, gold brocade drapes. The carpet is cream-colored, and the mirror over the dresser in front of them reflects the image of two pretty women in their thirties, sitting in a shaft of sunlight together.

“Strangely,” Jo says. “No, it didn’t. I got all my feelings on the table as we were leaving the port.”

Frankie snorts. “You mean you sat there while the horn was blowing, reaming him about some girl in the office?”

“Okay, when you put it that way… yes,” Jo says, a slow smile spreading over her face. “That’s almost exactly how it happened.”

Frankie starts to cackle as she leans sideways, bumping into Jo’s shoulder. They laugh together at the ridiculousness of this image.

“But seriously,” Jo says. “There were things I needed to get off my chest, and before we could relax and spend time together, I needed him to hear me.”

“Did he?”

Jo shrugs. “Yeah. I think he did. He didn’t deny anything about Jeanie, but he also didn’t admit that anything had happened. I just wanted him to understand that I’m not an idiot.” The last sentence comes out sounding far more angry than Jo had intended it to.

“No one thinks you’re an idiot, Joey-girl,” Frankie says gently. She reaches over and puts her hand on top of Jo’s. “No one thinks that.”

Jo is still staring up at the window. “Regardless, I feel like one. I understand that life is long, and that marriage has a lot of twists and turns, but I can’t sit by and watch the man I love pull away from me without putting up a fight. Would you, Frank? Would you let Ed just drift away without trying to bring him back?”

When Jo turns her head, Frankie is watching her with heat in her eyes. “Listen. Speaking as someone who almost pushed her husband away, I can tell you that there comes a point that you have to decide whether or not you’re all in. And, for me, I was. I wanted my marriage to work out, and I wanted Ed to be happy with me. Which meant I had to get happy with myself. I had to let go of the things that hurt me in the past.” She pauses here, and Jo doesn’t look away from her friend. “I know Bill has some things in his past that have hurt him, too, so it’s possible that he’s going to therapy to try to let go of those things. And when he does, maybe he can get happy with himself, too.”

Jo nods slowly. She has to admit, Frankie makes a good point. “You’re not wrong.”

“So let him.” Frankie says it with gravity, but it’s so simple and clean. “Let him find a way to be happy, and when he does, he’ll drop some of the weight that’s holding him down.”

Jo nods again. “Okay,” she says. “I’ve been patient this long. I can keep waiting.”

“Atta girl.” Instead of squeezing Jo’s hand, Frankie gives her knee a firm pat. “Now, let’s get back out to your party and dance, huh?”

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