Page 11 of The Light Year

She tosses her head back suddenly, eyes aflame. "But you almostweren't. And if you'd died, Bill, I would have had to quit NASA. To give up my dream."

Bill can't help himself—he has to ask: "But why? Why should your dream hinge on my safety or survival? We're nothing, Jeanie. You've said so yourself." It hurts to say the words, because being this close to her reminds Bill all over again that--in a different place and time, or under different circumstances--they could be something. They really could.

Jeanie looks around wildly, her tears drying on her skin in the heat. "You're right: we're nothing. But you're something to me--as a person, Bill. As someone I... someone I care about."

"I care about you, too," he says carefully, not wanting to say a single word that will make her believe he's trying to move on her or make some sort of romantic overture. All he wants is for her to know that he values her--as a person. As a coworker. As a friend. As a woman. Oh god, he can't deny that's what he values most: her womanhood. The way she looks, sounds, and smells. Bill can almost feel her warm skin under his fingertips—if only he could reach out and touch her arm. Just to comfort her! Nothing more.

But before he can debate the wisdom of that, she launches herself at his torso, wrapping her arms around him and putting her cheek to his chest. Bill is stunned; he's momentarily frozen as he feels her press her compact body to his, but then he gets his wits about him and wraps her in his arms. It might not be the smartest or the best thing to do, but in Bill Booker's experience,when a gorgeous woman hugs you, you hug her back. It's just plain chivalry.

The hug, which is arousing feelings in Bill that he'd rather not contemplate, goes on for much longer than a beat, and when Jeanie finally lifts her head and looks up into Bill's eyes, it's just as a plane passes overhead, the rumble and roar of its engines drowning out any possibility of speaking. Instead, they lock eyes and look deeply into one another, and Bill's heart thumps wildly as he sees the things in Jeanie's hazel eyes that he's secretly and desperately wanted to see all along.

"Bill," she says, though the word is lost in the airplane's noise. But his name is unmistakable on her lips. "Bill," she says again, tilting her chin up to him.

And, oh lord, the wisdom of kissing Jeanie in broad daylight isn't even a question for Bill, though it absolutely should be. He loses himself in her eyes, in the way the sound of the airplane seems to drown out the world, and in the way his heart feels when a beautiful woman looks at him with such blatant emotion. With no thought whatsoever, Bill presses her body against the chain-link fence with his own, causing her to gasp into his mouth as he covers her lips with his.

The kiss is deep and probing. There is no questioning in it, as there was that night in the stairwell. This time, there are no pulses of hesitation, no jolts of guilt flooding his veins. Now, there is only desire, and Bill barely holds it in check as he pushes Jeanie into the fence.

Jeanie would stop if she didn't want this, Bill thinks to himself as her hands rest on his waist. Her mouth is open, her eyes are closed, and her hot tongue is in his mouth as the plane flies away, leaving in its wake nothing but the sound of their intermingled heavy breathing. Jeanie would stop this?—

And then she does. She nearly pushes him away, looking like someone has just woken her from a dream. "Bill," she saysraggedly. "Oh, Bill." Her eyes go wide before she turns to walk away.

Bill is left there under the midday sun, sweat running down both the front and the back of his overheated body as he comes out of the mental fog that has allowed him to kiss Jeanie again. He watches her walk away, arms wrapped around her midsection as she makes a beeline for the building, leaving him alone there at the fence.

Damn it,he thinks. I’ve really done it now.

barbie

. . .

"Vestibular dysfunction."The doctor is looking at Todd with a serious face. Barbie, who is sitting on the side of the room, legs crossed, purse in her lap, feels her stomach fall. She has no idea what vestibular dysfunction is, but it sounds serious. Her eyes jump over to Todd to see how he's taking the news.

"Essentially, you have damaged your inner ear, and that disrupts the flow of information from the inner ear to the brain." The doctor, a man in his late fifties with salt-and-pepper hair and a white lab coat that's buttoned over a shirt and tie, stands and walks over to a life-size drawing of the human body and all its parts. He points at the brain. "If the messages aren't being received properly, you can experience bouts of dizziness and disorientation, and it can be, frankly, quite debilitating. Particularly for an astronaut."

Todd grimaces and rubs one temple. "Will it just go away on its own?"

"Well." The doctor puts one of his hands into the big, square pocket of his lab coat and pulls out a pen and a note pad. He holds them as he ponders Todd's question. "It's possible. However, it's also possible that you'll experience nystagmus,which are rapid, involuntary eye movements. It can also lead to headaches, tinnitus, and double vision."

Todd groans audibly. "I can't afford to have any of that happen. I need to be fixed, doc. Like, now. What can I do to speed this along?"

The doctor's serious face melts into an amused smile, and for a moment, he gazes at Todd the way a father might look at an impatient son. "We can get you started with rehabilitation and some medication to control the vertigo, and we'll check back in a couple of weeks to see if things are improving. In the meantime, I can write you a doctor's note to get some time off work and focus on recovery. How does that sound?"

Barbie bites her bottom lip as she waits for Todd's reply; she knows exactly how this will sound to him, and she also knows that he hasn't yet let Arvin North know how he's feeling. Barbie doesn't entirely agree with the way he's handling things here, and certainly being up front with the doctors at NASA would be his best bet, but it's not really up to her to dictate her husband's methods when it comes to work, so she stays quiet and watches the emotions that pass over his face.

"I don't know about getting time off," Todd says, patting his knee with one hand nervously. "Yeah, I think that will make me look like I can't handle things, and I know I can. We were in a full-blown, one rotation per second roll, and I think my body just needs a bit of time to right itself."

"Mr. Roman," the doctor says, looking serious again. "While I don't dispute that you know yourself better than anyone, I will tell you that my bigger fear is that your body won't heal itself naturally and quickly, and that instead of a little physical therapy, we might instead be looking at surgery."

Todd's face blanches. "Surgery? No. No, I'm not interested in that."

The doctor uncaps the pen in his hand and scrawls something on his notepad, the top page of which he tears off and hands to Todd. "Then I suggest you fill this prescription, make an appointment for physical therapy tomorrow morning, take the absence note I'll leave for you at the front counter, and commit to recuperating. Am I making myself clear?"

Todd, clearly chagrined, looks down at the linoleum floor beneath his feet. "Yes, sir," he says, sounding like a school boy. "I hear you."

The drive home is quiet, and Barbie tries to focus on ways she can keep the boys busy and occupied during the time Todd is off work. If she's being perfectly honest with herself, she's kind of excited at the prospect of having her husband home for a bit. It will give her the opportunity to soak in his presence, and for them to do things together as a family.

By the time they pull into the driveway, Barbie is already imagining Todd resting on the couch as the boys play nearby, or the five of them in the pool, where Todd can easily lie back and float if he gets dizzy.It could actually be kind of nice for him, Barbie thinks.

Todd shuts off the car and pulls the keys from the ignition. He leans his head back and closes his eyes, looking utterly defeated.

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