Page 44 of Across the Universe

“All yours, Roman,” Bill says gruffly, stepping out from under the tent.

Maybe I should have insisted on a bathroom break before starting, he thinks to himself, still cursing his own inability to complete what should be a fairly simple task. Bill stalks across the concrete floor, trying his hardest not to look around to see if Jeanie is still there and watching. He makes a beeline for the double doors, which he pushes with one shoulder, letting them swing out into the hallway.

Against his better judgment, Bill glances back and sees Jeanie looking on as Todd Roman takes his turn in the hot seat. Her back is to the doors, and even with Bill’s indelicate slamming of the door, she has not turned to look in his direction.

Bill pauses there for a split second, watching the crowd lean in again in anticipation as Todd attempts to do what Bill could not. As if to rub salt in the wound, a loud cheer goes up toward the rafters, echoing throughout the giant space, and Bill stands there in the doorway, watching in amazement: Todd Roman has made contact between the nose and the TDA on his first try.

Bill takes another step into the hallway, letting the heavy door slam shut behind him.

CHAPTER15

Jo

A door slamsloudly at the end of the hall. Nancy, who is reading a book on the couch in the front room, startles.

“Mom?” she asks Jo with wide eyes. “Is everything okay?”

Jo walks over to the counter in the kitchen and opens her purse. She fishes around for her small wallet and opens it with a click. “Honey,” she says to Nancy. “Can you take your brother and sister with you to get ice cream?”

Jo walks into the front room with a dollar bill in hand, which she holds out for Nancy.

Nancy frowns at her. “But we haven’t even eaten dinner yet,” she says, still sitting, long legs tucked up under her as the book she’s been reading sits open on the cushion next to her. “You never tell us to have dessert before dinner.”

“Well, today is a special occasion.” Jo waves the money at Nancy, at the same time motioning for her to hurry and stand. Nancy closes the book and gets up, still looking confused.

“What’s the occasion?”

Jo sighs. “I don’t know—pick one. Make one up.” Jo glances at the book Nancy has just set on the coffee table. “It’s International Nancy Drew Mystery Day.”

“It is?” Nancy laughs, but it’s not a genuine laugh—she’s absolutely confused by this turn of events.

“Jimmy should be outside tossing a ball around, and Kate is in her room playing dolls, I think. Kate!” Jo shouts frantically, turning to the hallway. “Come on, sweetie. Nancy needs you to go with her to the store!”

In under five minutes, Jo has her girls up and moving, shoes on their feet, the money folded and tucked into Nancy’s hip pocket.

“So we should go and… get ice cream? You want us to get some for after dinner for everyone?”

“No. Stay there and eat a cone, please,” Jo says at the door, waving for the girls to get a move on. She can see Jimmy out in the street, throwing a long, steady pitch to Edwin Marks, his school friend. She closes the door hurriedly, trusting that the kids will do as they’ve been told.

“Bill?” Jo calls out hesitantly once the house is silent. She smooths down the front of her dress and takes a tentative step into the hallway. The smell of pot roast fills the house, and she glances at her watch: the meat still needs to cook for another forty minutes.

“Honey?” Jo stops at the closed door of their bedroom, wringing her hands. Bill had stormed into the house with an angry cloud hanging over his head, and it was clear to Jo in an instant that something had gone terribly wrong. “Can I come in?”

There is no response. Jo raps lightly on the door with her knuckles.

“Jo,” Bill rasps. “I need some time here.”

Her first inclination is to honor her husband’s wish and walk away, but something in Jo snaps, and she puts her hand on the doorknob. “I’m coming in,” she says with a force that she normally reserves for the children.

Jo pushes open the door to find Bill sitting on the floor, back to the wall beneath the window. The curtains have been yanked shut, and one of them overlaps the other haphazardly. Bill’s elbows are on his knees, his head in his hands. He does not look up at Jo, but instead makes an angry noise.

“I asked you to give me some time.”

“Bill,” Jo says, forcing herself to cross the room and sit on the floor next to him. She places her back against the wall and looks in the same direction they’re facing, which is at the sliding closet door. “We’re a team,” she whispers, willing herself not to touch him. If Jo knows anything, it’s that putting a hand on Bill when he isn’t expecting it and doesn’t want it will only result in some sort of negative response. She’s had her feelings hurt in the past by the way he likes to keep to himself and solve his own things without involving her. “I’m here for you,” she adds, pulling her knees up and wrapping her arms around her legs.

Bill gives a single shake of his head and keeps his face buried in his hands. “We are a team, but on some things, we aren’t.”

His words chill Jo to the bone. “Oh?” she says, trying to sound curious and not hurt. “Is that how you see it? Because I see it differently.” Jo waits, hoping to choose her next words carefully. “I’m here every single day, supporting you. I take care of the house and the kids, and when you come home, all I want to do is hear how your day was. I want to talk to you, but you shut me out. Not always like this,” she says, waving a hand around at the darkened bedroom and at the fact that they’re sitting on the floor, “but you keep your work life and your inner thoughts to yourself. I want to hear you, Bill. I want to see you. I want to know you.”