Page 3 of The Fadeaway

“Yes,” Patty says, the chandelier’s light shining off of her scalp and making the diamonds on her earlobes sparkle like tears. “We’ll be together.”

Ruby

The house is silent. The white walls are covered in framed photos from every era of Patty Dallarosa’s life, and the long hallways with their wood floors and skylights are lit with the golden California sunlight of late afternoon.

In the kitchen, Ruby stands next to a wooden butcher block island, looking at a controlled tangle of herbs growing in a window box over the sink. A black-and-white striped towel hangs over the handle of the oven. Ruby looks out at the living room, her eyes landing on the brick fireplace, on the couches shielded by white linen slipcovers, on the piles of books resting on end tables and stacked beneath a window.

This is her mother’s house.Washer mother’s house, Ruby reminds herself, still feeling so stunned that her eyes barely blink. Patty is gone. One month. One month was all it had taken for the cancer to claim Patty, and while there never would have been enough time to say all the things that needed to be said, or to do all the things that Ruby wanted to do, one month was most certainly not enough.

In the stillness of the house—the house that would never again be filled with Patty’s laughter or the smells of her cooking—Ruby’s phone rings. She slips it from the back pocket of her jeans, barely clocking the name on her screen.

“Hello?” she says, feeling lost in every sense of the word.

“Ruby.” It’s Dexter North. His voice is full of worry and sympathy. “I’m so sorry.”

These three words,I’m so sorry, said in the voice of the man she’s grown to love—that’s all it takes to break Ruby. She leans against the side of the island, letting herself slide to the floor. Her back rests against the block there in the center of the kitchen, and her head falls forward. She starts to cry silently.

“Hey, Rubes,” Dexter says, probing. “Are you there? Are you okay?”

Ruby nods and then clears her throat. “I’m here. And I’m going to be okay. I just got to Santa Barbara, and I’m at my mother’s house. She’s gone, Dex.”

“I know,” he says softly. “I know. I got your message just now, and while I know you were expecting this, it’s still not easy. It’s never easy.”

Ruby swipes at the tears on her cheeks with one hand. “I didn’t mean to text you out of the blue like that,” Ruby says, trying to hold herself together. She and Dexter have been taking a bit of time apart, and while he’s been abreast of things following Patty’s bombshell about the cancer, and while he knew that Ruby was caring for Patty during her final days, she’d stopped short of texting him the minute Patty passed away. She hadn’t wanted his frantic call, his offer to do whatever he could, his words. What she’d wanted was for him to be there, at her side, holding her as she processed her mother’s death. In lieu of having him there, she’d kept her distance.

“Ruby, you should have sent me a message or called when it happened. My god…” He stops talking for a minute, and Ruby can imagine him standing there, his t-shirt and jeans hanging over his lean frame as he runs a hand through his hair with onehand and holds his phone with the other. “Just because we’re sorting through things and I’m working on the book doesnotmean that I am not here for you. Ruby, I amright here, always. And I could have come to you at any moment—I would have. I still will. Do you want me in Santa Barbara?”

Ruby shakes her head as the tears fall again. “No, Dex, you have things to do. And I’m not being a martyr at all—I truly don’t want to pull you away from your work. I’m just here to sort through her immediate business. I need to talk to her lawyer, her accountant, make sure her bills are squared away. I need to speak to a real estate agent and talk about selling this place, and I want to go through her things and make sure I get some keepsakes for the girls. Her parents are long gone, as is her only sister. I have no siblings, and as far as I know, there’s really no one else in her life.”

Dexter stays quiet for a long beat. “You think your mom had no friends aside from you?”

“Well, no,” Ruby scoffs. “She dated a fair amount over the years, and I know she had friends she met up with occasionally for drinks or dinners, but I don’t think she has any other big relationships. Her sister died without having any kids, so I have no cousins for her to dote on…it’s always been the two of us, and then when I had the girls, our little band of women expanded by two. Other than that, I feel like she had a fairly small social circle, and that any relationships she had were purely superficial.”

“Huh.”

“What?” Ruby frowns and pulls her knees to her chest as she sits on the floor of her mother’s kitchen.

“I’m not trying to argue with you, Rubes, but I met your mom and she was a wildfire. Personality-plus. She had, to my eyes, a huge appetite for life, and I just can’t imagine that that didn’t extend to her relationships, whatever those might have been.”

“Yeah, I’m not sure about that.” Ruby pulls at a strand of her hair and winds it around her forefinger as she thinks. Is it possible that her mom had a big life and tons of interests that Ruby hadn’t even known about? Sure, there were years where Ruby had been completely enmeshed in her own life—her own dramas—and years when she was busy being a mom and the First Lady, but…had she really overlooked the fact that Patty was out living a big life on the west coast and not sitting around, tending to her indoor herb garden and reading mystery novels?

“Well, you knew her better than anyone,” Dexter says soothingly. “And I think you’re incredibly strong to be there so soon, getting things in order. It’s amazing, and I want to help in any way that I can. So if you want me there, I’m there. All you have to do is say the word.”

Ruby smiles sadly. “Thanks, Dex. I appreciate that. But I think I can get all of this sorted in three, maybe four days, and then I’ll be back on Shipwreck Key.”

“Okay. But while you’re there, can we check in once a day? Would you be willing to let me know how you are—maybe each evening? I want to be here for you, Ruby. It’s important to me.”

This offer leaves Ruby blinking back tears. “Yes,” she says. “Sure. Of course. I’d like that.”

They’re both quiet as Ruby looks around the house, letting it truly sink in that she’s in her mother’s house alone, and that Patty isn’t about to come downstairs and ask if she wants to take a drive, or walk in through a side door with fresh flowers from her garden.

“You know, just because things aren’t totally figured out between us doesn’t mean that I need a break from you, Rubes—I don’t. I love you, and I want you to know that.”

Ruby appreciates his honesty and she certainly appreciates the words, but it’s almost too much at the moment. She can’t appropriately wade through the aftermath of her mother’s deathand also try to figure out where she and Dexter are. But she doesn’t want to push him away or seem ungrateful for his love.

With effort, Ruby stands and brushes off the back of her jeans. “Thank you, Dexter. I love you too,” she says. “I’ll check in with you tonight.”

They say their goodbyes and Ruby doesn’t even pause to wonder whether she’s been too curt with him; there will be time for that later. Right now, she has things to do around Patty’s house, and only a few days to get it all done.

---