Page 92 of Riptide

Hudson settles next to my sister with a few bottles of water he hands out, and all eyes are on me.

“Foxx and I were in the classroom. Alone. We were…close. Like…uh, anyway. And then his ex walked in.”

Liv perks up. “Oooo, are you screwing your professor, Finn?”

I don’t answer right away. Just level her with a look as I yank the spoon back from her hand and take another bite, like it’s the only thing keeping me from melting into the couch.

“That’s a yes,” she mutters under her breath, satisfied.

Daphne glares. “Liv.”

“What? I’m invested.”

“I’m not screwing him,” I say finally, even though my voice isn’t exactly steady. “It’s not like that.”

Then I think about what it is like. I said to Daphne last week that I’d fallen fucking hard, and I know that’s true, because the unhealthy amount of possession I feel for him since the weekend away, makes me stay awake after he’s fallen asleep, just staring at him being peaceful.

It’s not the soft kind of feeling either. It’s sharp. It cuts. Like I could rip the world apart with my bare hands if it ever tried to take this from me.

And maybe that’s what scares me more than anything else—not the fact that I feel this much, but how fast it snuck up on me. How deep it already runs. Howknownhe feels. Like my body’s been waiting for his weight in the bed beside me. Like his breath was always meant to steady mine. Because part of me still thinks this is going to disappear. That I’ll wake up and it’ll all have been some cruel dream, and I’ll be alone again, pretending I’m okay with quiet nights and empty mornings. And fuck, if that’s not the most beautiful and terrifying thing.

“Jesus Christ,” Liv breathes, her eyes a little too wide now. “You’rein it.”

I scrub my hand down my face.

“Yeah, okay? I’m in it. And when Ryan showed up, I immediately felt like I’d lose him, which is ridiculous, because he’s been nothing but amazing. He listens. He cares. He makes space for me without asking for anything back. Like just being around him makes me…more.”

My voice cracks a little on that last word, but I don’t care.

“He makes me want things,” I say. “Things I told myself I didn’t need.”

There’s a stretch of silence, and I can feel it settle in the room. Then something hits me so deep in my chest it steals my breath.What if he thinks me leaving, me not saying anything, was a sign that I don’t want this? That I don’t wanthim?What if he’s telling himself that Ryan showing up means something, that it’s safer to slip back into whatever version of himself existed before me?

My heart pounds harder. I sit up straighter.

I want to be there for him. Not just in the moments where it’s easy. I want to show up. Be the person he turns to when he’s had a bad day. When he doubts everything. When he forgets that he’s already changed my whole life without trying.

“Shit,” I breathe. “I have to go.”

Daphne blinks. “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” I say, already standing, my arms and legs feeling like they’re full of static energy. “Yeah. Because if he’s sitting there wondering if this is real, if I’m serious, I don’t want him going to bed with any doubt.”

Liv whistles. “Rom-com energy. I love this for you.”

I shoot her a look, already moving toward the door. “Also, Liv, dump the asshole. You deserve better than a lying cheat.”

My chest is thudding like I’m standing on the edge of something huge, and I know the second I jump, there’s no going back. But I don’t care. I need him to know.

That I’m all in.

Chapter thirty-nine

Foxx

Iwatchthedoorease shut behind Finn, the soft click echoing faintly in the quiet, and there’s something oddly final in the sound. Not because he left in anger—he didn’t—but because I can still feel his presence lingering in the room, that blanket of his scent I’m constantly seeking when he’s around.

Now, all I’m feeling is the chill of his absence, standing here, trying to make sense of the fracture I never saw coming.

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