Page 87 of Riptide

The hallway bends, giving me the perfect angle to the open-plan kitchen. I inch forward, praying to every god I can thinkof that they’re just doing somethingnormalin there. Baking. Wrestling. Playing tag.

But then I turn the corner, and I wish I hadn’t.

Daphne is perched on the kitchen counter. Hudson is standing between her legs. One of his hands disappears somewhere I have absolutely no intention of ever mentally locating again. There’s a shirt on the floor. Someone moans. I willneverbe the same.

“Oh mygod!” I shout, yanking my hoodie over my eyes, covering my vision in pale yellow, like that might undo what I’ve just seen. “No! You animals! It’s nine in the morning!”

There’s a loud clatter, followed by swearing and a very unhelpful, “Princess, did you lock the door?”

“I have a fucking key, remember,” I mutter again, shaking the metal clutched in my hand. I amnotopening my eyes until one of them confirms they’re decent. “This is afamilykitchen.”

“What are you doing here?” Daphne demands, breathless and 100% not in a position to be indignant.

“I work here!” I gesture wildly behind me, eyes still closed but lower my voice slightly. “As your nanny, remember?!”

More chaos. A thump. A muffled curse. Something falls. I absolutely can’t open my eyes ever again. Then Rosie starts crying from the bedroom.

“Look what you did,” I shout. “You woke the baby!”

Hudson’s voice is strangled. “Youwoke the baby!”

“I did not!”

“You walked in screaming!”

“Because I saw things a brother should never see.”

Daphne finally cracks up, and Hudson starts laughing too. I stand in the hallway, hoodie still over my eyes, heart pounding, dignity in tatters, as the two lovebirds giggle about the emotional damage they’ve just inflicted on me.

Rosie’s cries ramp up again, and I point vaguely toward the sound. “I’m going to get my niece. You two need tocleaneverything.I meaneverything. I want bleach. Fire. An exorcist. Call a goddamned priest.”

As I stomp toward the bedroom, I hear Hudson mumble, “At least we weren’t on the couch this time.”

“I fuckingsiton that couch, Hudson!”

***

I rock Rosie in my arms, her soft breath ghosting across my collarbone, refusing to look at Daphne. Hudson has already left, but I’m still reeling.

“You can look at me, you know. Do you remember how many times you got into trouble like that in high school?”

“That was high school. This is now.”

Daphne chuckles. “I’m sorry,” she says, sounding anything but remorseful. “Tell me about your weekend. My first class was canceled, so maybe we can talk? Things have been so busy with school and Rosie.” She turns to me as we settle on the couch, Rosie between us. I glance down at her tiny hand curled around my finger. “Did you figure out anything more about physical therapy classes? And you and Foxx? I need to know everything. I’ve got time, and you know I’m the best listener.” The urge to tell Daphne everything—every-fucking-thing I’ve been holding on to—is so strong, I can feel it tightening in my chest like a vise. We always used to tell each other everything. Before Jared. Before I started thinking silence meant protection.

“I’m sorry,” I say, voice rough. “I know we haven’t talked as much lately, despite me being around more. I never meant to shut you out. I just…knew if you saw me struggling, you’d take it on. And you already had so much. Your whole life flipped last year, and you handled it like a goddamn superhero. I didn’t want to weigh you down.”

Daphne’s smile fades, her eyes glossy. “Finn…”

“Let me just say this,” I say quickly, and she nods. “When I lost Jared, something inside me splintered. I don’t even think I realized it at first. But I tried to get back in the water after it happened, and my breath wouldn’t come. My chest locked up. And I had a panic attack right there in the middle of a beach full of people. The ocean that used to feel like home suddenly felt like it wanted to drown me too. I lost it.”

My voice catches, but I push through it and let a tear fall down my cheek, because letting it go, and being here with my sister is exactly where I need to be right now.

“I didn’t come back just because I had nowhere else to go…” I continue. “I came back because you and Rosie…I knew you’d be my way through it. Somehow.”

Daphne wipes a tear from her cheek, looking down at her daughter with a watery smile, and Rosie coos up at her.

“In a weird way, you guys and Hudson, the three of you saved me,” I say. “You gave me a reason to get out of bed when I couldn’t think about the gaping hole I had in my life. You gave me space when I couldn’t explain why I was unraveling. You let me find something to hold on to again. And you never pushed me to explain everything.”

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