Page 136 of Shadows of Stardust

She considers that, then nods. “A worthy mission. But worthy enough to miss out on the rest of your life?”

The question knocks the air from my lungs.

The rest of my life.

Currently walking away from me, getting back on the hover she rode in on, boarding a ship that will take her back to the misery of Severin before she goes… somewhere. Somewhere to start the rest of her own life. Without me.

“It’s not that simple.”

“Isn’t it?” Marva tilts her head, studying me. “You can find a reason, Zan. Even when there are plenty of others that would keep you tied to that life, keep you fighting. You can find a reason to make yourself a different path.”

There’s an edge to her voice, a conviction and knowing that goes deeper than a vidcomm producer chastising a contestant.

I glance down at her ring. The one I can finally place.

“Which company?” I ask plainly.

“Alpha-19.”

A high-ranking Aux company. And an honorable one, if memory serves.

“Did you find your reason?”

Marva’s laugh is a softer, gentler sound than I thought her capable of making. “I did. And she’s got the patience of a saint to deal with me spending a couple of cycles every revol on this saintsforsaken planet dealing with messes like you and that human of yours.”

That human of mine.

My chest aches again, a deep, vital crack that extends to the very core of me, and I fight the urge to run after her.

How much simpler might it be if I could.

If I could snatch her up, keep her with me, whisk us both away to a future with no wayward sisters and no higher callings, a universe in which we could just beus.

But that’s not the universe we live in.

This universe—the one we’ve both had to contend with for so many difficult years—still has more that it demands from us. It still has responsibilities. It still has sorrows.

But perhaps it also still has a future like the one Roslyn hinted at earlier today.

Perhaps it’s got a different path.

Perhaps it has a happy ending we both could still dream of, if only I can make myself worthy of it, worthy of her.

“And I might have an idea or two for how to help you find yours.”

My gaze snaps to Marva’s, and the crooked grin she’s wearing sends a spark through my chest. Buoyant, expansive, making room for something other than the misery that settled there when Roslyn walked away.

“I’d like to hear them.”

Marva’s grin widens. She claps me on the shoulder, and it’s impossible not to name the bubble of light still spreading in my chest for what it is.

Hope.

My warrior doesn’t deserve half-measures, and she doesn’t deserve half a male to be her partner.

She deserves worlds and stars and galaxies at her feet.

She deserves a life, a whole life, filled with certainty and safety and peace.

---