Page 59 of Giving Him Something He Can Feel

“Yeah right, that’s what you say.” I rested back in the seat while of course he drove toward our destination.

“When is our next appointment?” he asked out of the blue.

“Friday, remember?”

He nodded his head. “I knew it was one of these days. Is it the one when we confirm sex or no?”

“No, Cartier it isn’t. We got a few months for that, I think. Why?”

“I been kicking around names and shit, ready to meet my lil’ one.” His hand went to my stomach while he drove.

“Me too.” My hand covered his and all I could think about was what would soon be our reality. The crazy thing is I didn’t know if I should have been reading parenting magazines orwhat. Besides having moments of being completely petrified, I also had bursts of excitement filled moments.

Virtue

Jovie looked happy. I loved that for her. I loved that she was being loved the way she deserved, finally. Most of all I loved that Cartier was who she needed him to be, through and through. I needed that for her, because after her grandfather died I was scared for her.

“Not that this nigga set me up on a playdate in the poolhall.” She remarked sipping from the can ginger ale.

I laughed. “At least you knew about it. I wasn’t aware at all until Cartrek told me that you said he’s been hogging me.”

“Hell he has. Nigga doesn’t realize that you were mine before you were his.”

I giggled. “He told me about that too.”

“I bet. How are you though? You happy?” She scooted to the end of the couch I was on and leaned my way so only she and I could hear our conversation.

“I’m really happy…with him.”

“Meaning? And when you say with him what do you mean? Dumb it down for a sista.”

I cackled looking up from my drink in his direction. It just so happens he was looking directly at me. “I like it, and him.”

“Good bu?—”

“Nope, stop picking me and tell me about you.”

She smiled shyly. “Well you know what I’m up to. Pregnant, lowkey in love with my baby daddy, moving again and being borderline stalked by family that I’ve never fucked with like that.”

“Lowkey in love. Did I hear that right?”

“After everything I just said that’s truly what you heard?”

“No, but that’s what I decided to respond to first.” I giggled. “So spill.”

“Yeah man, I love that ole’ unhinged ass nigga. But don’t say anything because we haven’t exchanged thosetypes of words yet.” The entire time she spoke she smiled.

“I get that. It’s just so funny because remember all that shit you used to talk? You know about how you couldn’t go there with him, but after everything he’s your one.”

She nodded. “Today we toured a condo in the loop, and I swear that all I could think about. I made a million excuses holding up my own process only to be literally floating on a freaking cloud with this man on a daily.”

I shook my head.

“Curse me for standing in the way of my own happiness.”

“Ain’t that the truth.” I nodded agreeing whole heartedly with her. It was something about just letting go and being happy. Releasing doubts and just deciding to be. With Cartrek that’s what I felt like it took. I had to become comfortable with not knowing everything, but just being… with him.

My thoughts were interrupted by my phone ringing. When I glanced down, I noticed that the call was coming from a number that I didn’t recognize. I didn’t answer calls that I didn’t know, because half of the time they were scam calls. If it was an important call, it would’ve had a caller ID and not a wonky area code.

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