Page 32 of Giving Him Something He Can Feel

I had a doctor’s appointment early this morning, one that confirmed that I was indeed carrying this crazy man’s baby. While I surly looked upside his head, he had the biggest smile on his face. A smile so damn big that his teeth were threatening to break out of his mouth. So I kind of came to the conclusion on my own at home, having a doctor confirm it made this so much more real.

He had really trapped me, and I was really going to have his baby. This was probably the most unorthodox situation I had ever been in. His smile in the doctor’s office was ingrained in my brain because he was so happy and I didn’t really know how to feel. I mean yes I felt this thing between us, but things were moving in a way I wasn’t used to. Shit I wasn’t the relationship type, and he knew that because he wasn’t either. As a matter of fact we talked about this that night. The night that started this whole thing.

When I climbed into this man’s car the last thing I expected was for us to end up in a hotel at two in the morning. Wasn’t one of those trashy joints either, it was nice but not the one I was supposed to be in while I was here. Our girls trip to Miami had gone nothing like planned. Tay had hooked up with some nigga from the club, while Gema had ditched us for Cruz. That left me with Tasha who didn’t know how to party and this nigga, Cartier. Wasn’t anything wrong with Cartier, shit if anything he was too fine and easy on the eyes. Type of nigga you just knew brought his own set of issues and had whole bunches of bitches following up behind him to get chose. Hood rich niggas had it like that.

“You good over there, Jovie? Yeen finna bust out the door and run off on me are you?”

I giggled, broken from my mental tangent for the first time since we walked in the room giving him a thorough look. He’d shed his shirt since I last gave him a look, now showcasing the swamp of tattoos that loitered his beautiful body. “No.”

“Good.” He was in my face seconds later pulling me againsthim before he picked me up and carried me into the bedroom of the suite. Like magnets my legs locked around his waist loving the feel of his face in my neck. I was wasted as fuck, because I knew this shouldn’t have been happening, but I couldn’t stop it. I couldn’t free the words from my brain because I wanted it, I wanted to break my celibacy for him, for this moment right here.

Seconds later my back was flushed against the cool hotel goose down, while he gripped my body at the edge of the bed. Hands locked on my ankles forcefully moving my body to where he wanted me.

“Fuck,” he murmured just before licking his full lips.

That was when he first made contact, his heavy index finger tracing the outline of my pussy while his middle finger occasionally traveled deeper.

“I wanna taste it first, you gonna let me?” his eyes bore into mine, daring me to deny him.

“Nn...noo,” I stammered, now sitting up on my elbows with the desire to watch him do just that.

Him tightening his grip around my hand grounded me, bringing me back to the present. Now mentally back in the car with him, I gazed over at him with a knowing smirk. “We have just never used condoms. Not the first time and damn sure not now.”

He laughed. “First time we were both fucked up, not thinking ‘bout it. Then after that, shit was a conscious effort.”

“A conscious effort, Cartier?”

“Yep. I wanted you, and you acted like you couldn’t get over some shit that didn’t matter. Now we stuck together, least for the next eighteen.”

“What if I was a fucked up female and you just made a whole baby with me. What if I’m the wors?—”

“You ain’t.”

“But how do you know that, Cartier?” I asked attempting to emphasize my point. “You made a baby with me because you liked the se?—”

“I been stalking yo’ mean ass for years, Jo. Plotting, tryna get to know you and peeping err’time you turn niggasdown. You think that night was some fly by the way shit? Well it wasn’t that night I was drunk enough to go for what I wanted instead of watching you from a fer like I been doing. I ain’t no scary nigga by any means, but the idea of something real with you scared the fuck out of me. One look at you let me know that you wasn’t shit like err’body else, that I was gonna feel you and be fucking stuck ‘cause that’s how you had me when I first met you. When Gema first introduced you to me.”

I blinked a few times just looking at him, mentally attempting to travel all the way back. It wasn’t possible was it? He had to be bullshitting me, because that would mean I had been oblivious to this with him way longer than before. “Are you serious?”

“Shit had just popped off with Trek, and I wasn’t looking for shit serious but I wanted you. I just knew I wasn’t in the best headspace and I was gonna fuck it up, so I never stepped to you. Kept it cool.”

I nodded. “That night I broke my vow of celibacy with you.”

He smiled. “I know.”

I turned my head in his direction taken aback. “Those bitches were feeding you my business like ninety going north, huh?”

He chuckled. “Makes you feel any better, I didn’t ask about none of it. Motherfuckers knew I wanted you. Only person who didn’t know was you.”

Chapter Six

Cartrek

I hadn’t talked much to Peach since she nearly threw a nigga of her crib. I struggled with the fact that I understood why she did it and trying not to give a fuck. I tried hard too, but it didn’t hit me how much I liked her until a few days later when I was going home instead of to her crib to freeload off the energy and enjoy the company. I knew I fucked up because I should’ve never started hanging out with her. Should’ve kept it strictly fucking and now here I was fucking stuck. I refused to reach out to her, because I wanted her to hit me up, but she hadn’t done that. She was standing her ground, something I used to not give a care if females did. It used to not matter to me one way or another, but with her it affected me. She affected me and that irked my entire fucking soul. I couldn’t let it show though, I had to keep it the fuck moving and pay attention to the things that warranted my attention. Peach didn’t belong to me, so she didn’t warrant my attention. Though I wanted to give her all the attention in the world, I couldn’t do that. I couldn’t risk repeating past mistakes.

“Four years Mia, four fucking years and you only slipped once.” My eyes beat into hers as she looked me square in mine. She didn’t even look like the woman I loved, she looked like a fucking pig. I couldn’t believe I didn’t see it before now, can’t believe I didn’t catch it. God knows what she had on me at this point. Her thick hair was pulled back, brushed into a perfect Librarian bun to the back of her head, and not a drop of makeup rested on her usually made up face. A beautiful fucking pig.

I turned my back on her and walked to the far side of thespace. I needed to get as far away from her as possible, because at this point I was liable to choke the life out of her.

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