Page 2 of Giving Him Something He Can Feel

I chuckled before tossing him the other breakfast sandwich in the bag. Knowing him he hadn’t eaten shit today. “Her ass ain’t worried. Baby girl is broke and in a college dorm. She wants some money.”

He laughed because he knew I was right.

“And you already sent it.”

“Hell yeah I did. Shorty has all A’s and she ain’t out here hoing. The fuck you think I ain’t?”

“I hear you. But watch she don’t call until she’s broke again.” I wasn’t finna get into this debate with him again. He believed our sister didn’t need to stress about working while in school. I agreed to some extent Indy needed to work, because she spent more money than the fucking drug dealers at this point. Shorty was a bill and she had no concept of work because Cartier spoiled the fuck out of her… we both did.

“You heard from Linny?” he quizzed with a mouth full of food.

“Yeah, I told ‘em I’d see what he was talking about later on. Either way I’ma get my money.”

He chuckled. “Err’time that nigga gets out of the hole, he finds a way to get right back in that shit. Last time wasn’t it something about his mama’s house?”

“Yup. She took out a double mortgage to help that fool. Then he came right back in here and got in the hole.” Niggas like Linny disgusted me.

“That’s fucked up because you’d think he’d wanna steer clear of this shit. But nah, that nigga digs in and deeper. I even asked Marco about his playing and he said the man is trash.”

We both shook our heads but ceased any type of conversation about Linny. It was time to get down to business.

“Do you believe in God, Cartrek?”her tone was even and, Icould only guess the expression her face housed.

“Do you?” I couldn’t help but ask.

“More than I believe in anything else. But this isn’t about me. This is about you.”

I bit into my bottom lip, before I glared at Sayers. She always wanted to get into a nigga’s head. I mean of course that was her job, but she got right to that shit. No pleasantries or anything, straight up mental invasion.

“So, do you?”

“Do I what? Believe in God?” I looked up at the ceiling then back down at my intertwined hands. “I have to, don’t I? Pops made us go to that fucking church every Sunday, even though going there didn’t do a damn thing for us.” Once I finished that statement, I looked at her.

“That doesn’t mean you believe in him.”

I shrugged. “Then maybe I don’t.”

“Okay. How are you today?” she asked changing the subject for only a few seconds because she’d definitely double back on this God conversation soon. It was how our sessions worked.

“Money is being made, I’m free and I’m alive. I can’t call it, Doc.”

She nodded. “You say you’re free and alive like that’s something of a sho?—”

“You don’t do what I do for as long as I’ve done it without a tombstone or shackles. They come from every direction to put a nigga down.”Every direction…

“You’re thinking about her?”

I nodded. “I am.”

“Do you regr?—”

“I don’t regret a damn thing that is warranted. Betrayal is punishable by death.”

“I never said it wasn’t, but our last few sessions have been you thinking about Mia. You keep going back to that day like you could’ve done something different.”

I nodded my head. She was right, but Mia hadmade her own bed. She knew the consequences of betraying me. She knew who I was when we took vows, shit even before then. She knew who I was when she went undercover and made herself a part of my life. She caught me slipping, something that should have never happened. The message was clear as fuck and I got it…Bitches weren’t shit but trouble.Mia taught me that.

“Do you wish you wouldn’t have been put in such a position?”

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