Page 15 of Giving Him Something He Can Feel

“I just need to see him.” Tears puddled my eyes as I pleaded with them.

I guess they heard me because she let me go and they stopped walking. Timidly I approached the black bag, unzipping it from the top. He looked asleep, but it hurt no less. It didn’t put me back together. He was really gone and it broke my heart. I kept telling myself that Earl didn’t raise no ho, that this crying shit was for the birds but how could I not.

Carmella ushered me in the house, where she helped me to the couch. Her eyes were puffy too, she’d been crying too. He was really gone, and there was no way I could pick up the phone to call him. No more of that because my pop-pop was gone.

I sat on that sofa for what felt like forever, as the tears streamed down my face and my eyes glared at the blank wall. It was almost like I was challenging God, asking him why he had to take the only man I had ever loved, hell the only man who had ever loved me unconditionally. He always used to tell me that God didn’t put nobody down here forever, but I didn’t believe him. Hell I’d convinced him that at ninety-six he was a special case. Course he didn’t believe me, but I believed me. I believed my pop-pop would live forever, but he didn’t and now my whole soul hurt because he was gone and had left me here alone.

Trek

I looked at my brother trying to figure out what was up with the nigga. He had a lil’ more pep in his step, almost looked giddy when he got here earlier. “The fuck is yo’ problem?” I finally asked staring at him.

“Just secured some shit.” He smirked.

“Huh?” I was confused because why the fuck was this nigga being so damn secretive if it was business. “What do yo?—”

“Nigga you ‘bout to be an uncle in ‘bout nine months.”

I threw my head back trying to figure out what he was talking about, then it hit me. “You didn’t.”

“Sure and the fuck did. I’ll do an eighteen year bid with Jovie if that’s what it takes to make sure she stays where I want her at all times. Call it what you want, but that’s me.”

“Yo, you crazy as fuck and that’s on me.”

He shrugged. Say what you want but I went for what I wanted.”

I was about to tell him just how flawed that statement was, but then there was a knock at my door.

“It’s Linny. I ha?—”

“Come in.”

Seconds later the door was open and Linny walked in with his hands in his pockets and the shit face. That meant he didn’t have my money but was about to tell me how he’d get it.

“You got my money, Linny?” I sat back in the chair observing the stupid ass expressions his face contoured into. I didn’t see how he was any kin to Peach. Shit was baffling.

“No, not yet. But I just gotta talk to my sist?—”

“Nah, stay yo’ goofy ass away from her. Yeen taking shit out of her fuckin’ pockets to help yo’ debt. She tol’ yo’ ass no last time, and I saw that shit you pulled in the parking lot. Try it again and you won’t attempt shit else.”

He looked confused, but I didn’t give his confusion time to settle.

“You hear me?”

He nodded. “But how am I supp?—”

“Sounds like a fucking personal problem, huh?”

Of course Cartier snickered, but I didn’t give a damn. I said what I said and Linny had no choice but to respect that or fuck around and find out.

“Yeah, yeah. You’re right I’m gonna figure it out.”

“Good, you got seventy-two hours.” I gave him one last look, before my eyes landed back on my brother. Nigga had a smirk on his face, so I know he was about to say some slick shit.

He did just that as soon as Linny closed my door behind himself.

“Niggas was about to get in my shit ‘bout Jovie but youround here threatening motherfuckers. Yeah, don’t tell me shit about my methods.” He waved me off.

I didn’t even touch that. Instead I changed the subject and jumped into business. That was the real reason his worrisome ass was here anyway. We needed to up production and spill into another warehouse.

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