Page 31 of Promise Me, Katie

“It means are you staying or are you going?” Sarah hated moments like this. Moments when all she wanted to do was throw her arms around her precious boy and promise he never had to leave home again. “You haven’t said much, so I didn’t know what your plans were.”

“Oh, sorry,” he said, his attention shifting back to Libby as she chewed on anything she could fit into her mouth. “Did you notice she’s getting two more teeth on the bottom?”

“Yes, son. RememberI’mthe one who pointed them out to you?”

“Huh? Oh, yeah, right.”

Annoyed, Sarah set her pen down next to her shopping list, then marched over, gathered up her granddaughter and a handful of toys and put her in the playpen before hauling her son by the arm to the far end of the room.

Matthew Sr. stopped what he was doing to watch them over the top of his reading glasses. Then he closed the book in his hands and joined their huddle at the edge of the room. “What’s up?”

“I have no idea.”

“What’s up,” Sarah whispered in frustration, “is that you’re sitting around like a lump, and it’s not doing you any good. And when you’re no good for yourself, you’re no good for that little girl.”

His dad nodded. “I have to agree with your mother. Maybe it’s time to figure out your next steps. Get some structure into your day. You might even feel better if you went back to work.”

Matthew didn’t know how to deal with the vast array of emotions he’d been feeling. Anger, frustration, sadness, and regret. All those and then some were taking their toll, and even though he knew it on the inside, he didn’t realize that it was that obvious on the outside.

“I wanna go back to Windsong,” he blurted out, surprised to see relief in his parent’s eyes when they glanced at one another. “I guess I haven’t wanted to tell you.”

“Oh, honey.” Sarah hugged him. “Why not? We trust you know what’s best for you and Libby. We’re just happy you’ve even considered your future.”

“Very happy.” His dad clapped him on the back. “We’re gonna miss you both, but we’re always here whenever you need us. All you have to do is call.”

The next day, Matthew got out of bed bright and early, showered, packed, and loaded up the SUV with his and Libby’s things. When it came time to say goodbye to his parents, he promised to keep in touch.

“Try to call at least once a week and let us know how you’re doing,” his mother said.

“Call as often as you can,” his dad countered. “We’ll be here.”

After a final round of hugs and kisses from his mom and a firm handshake and hug from his dad, Matthew strapped Libby into her car seat and headed back to Windsong.

** *

“You’vegotto be kidding me!” Matthew snapped when he showed up to drop Libby off at Callie Macomb’s in-home daycare the next day. “Who told you that?”

“That came straight from the Chief,” Justin said, hating to be the bearer of bad news. “If you got a problem with it, you need to take it up with him.”

As Matthew paced the length of the porch, he was thankful Callie had Libby inside while Justin took him outside to talk. He felt like punching something or someone. Then he thought about Grant Adams and wished he would have punched him when he had the chance. Repeatedly.

“So that’s it?” he ranted. “I have no say in the matter. I don’t even get the chance to prove I’m fine.”

Justin watched as Matthew stomped back and forth.

“Is that what you call this thing you’re doin’ here?” he said. “Fine?”

Matthew turned on Justin. “Is this why I came home to a note taped to my front door and messages on my voicemail from some guy named Pastor Humble?”

Justin shrugged. “I guess.”

“Pastor Humble? Is that seriously his name?”

“Hey, man, take it easy. As far as preachers go, Pastor Pete’s a real cool dude,” Justin said. “Maybe you oughta give it a shot.”

“So, it’s the church or a shrink?”

“Well, it’s technically called Grief Group. But it isata church.”

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