Page 39 of To Her

So why was I so afraid to consider the possibility of something more between us?

The answer came unbidden, rising from the depths of my mind where I kept all the things I didn't want to think about: because everyone I've ever loved has hurt me. Because trusting someone means giving them the power to destroy you. Because I've been broken before, and I'm not sure I could survive being broken again.

I turned to look out the window, blinking back unexpected tears. The mountains blurred before me, their snow-capped peaks hazy through my watery vision.

"You okay?" Con asked quietly, his voice pitched low enough that only I could hear.

I nodded without looking at him, not trusting myself to speak.

He didn't push, didn't demand an explanation. He just reached over and squeezed my hand briefly, a gesture of support and understanding that made my heart ache in a way I couldn't quite define.

Chapter 16

Geri

We spent the day on the slopes, skiing, snowboarding, drinking a beer or two at the bars that littered the hills along the way. I was exhausted by the time we finished around 4 PM. We all piled back in the car and headed back to the resort that Louise had booked.

Con gave me a hug and a kiss on the top of my head as he said, "I gotta get to the bus station to catch the bus back up the mountain to get back in time for the dinner run."

I was sad he was going and also a little relieved to just have some time away. These emotions of mine were starting to bother me a little bit.

There was no anonymous meeting out here that I could go to and pour my feelings out into, so I had to deal with them myself for the three months I was here, unless I headed down to the closest city which was two hours away on my day off and attended one. But then I would have to tell Con where I was going, and that wasn't happening.

I smiled at him as he grabbed his board and waved at us all as he left, walking to the closest bus station to catch the shuttle that would take him back up the mountain to Alpine Ridge. Nick hadoffered to drive him many times, but he had shot them all down saying it's okay, he liked the bus.

I waved goodbye and walked into the resort that Louise had booked and into the room that we would all stay in like sardines. I collapsed on the closest bed as Louise said, "Let's go get dinner and drinks. I feel like dancing."

I looked at her like she was insane. My body was wrecked—three days of double shifts and now a whole day on the slopes. But I smiled and said, "Sure," and grabbed my bag and headed to the bathroom to change out of my ski gear and put on some jeans, a shirt, and a jumper.

I wasn't a huge makeup-wearing person, but I did throw on some foundation and mascara, and we headed out to the local pub, where they had a local band currently jamming away. We ordered some food and drinks.

It was actually relaxing, and I was enjoying myself until Louise and Jenny jumped up to dance, and Nick leaned in saying, "So, you and Alex. What is happening there?"

I smiled at him because I knew this was gonna come sooner or later—they were, in fact, friends.

"What do you mean?" I asked innocently. "We are friends, are we not?"

Nick gave me a knowing look. "Sure, but Alex likes you, and you seem to like him?"

I smiled at Nick and said, "Honestly, Nick, you know as well as I do that Alex isn't looking for something serious. If he had been, he would have cared when I said I was coming here for the season." I took a sip of my drink before continuing. "I'm also not silly. I know he is talking to other girls. I mean, seriously, the man is an Adonis, and his Tinder profile is still active. Trust me, I checked."

Nick laughed and said, "Well, the man has to keep his options open. You seem to keep your interactions more on the physical side than anything else."

I knew Nick was right, but I wasn't going to say that. The truth was, Alex had been a distraction, a way to forget Matt, a way to feel wanted without the risk of real emotional investment. But that wasn't something I was ready to admit, even to myself.

I just shrugged and said, "Honestly, I'm not looking for anything with anyone at the moment. I need to sort myself out before I run and jump into any relationships."

Nick then said, "So Con is in love with you too."

I shook my head and said, "Stop. Just stop. Con is my best friend, nothing more." I paused, swirling the ice in my drink. "And yes, I have been made aware of this new development, one I'm not sure how to deal with yet."

Nick leaned back in his chair, studying me. "You're lucky, you know. You have men to choose from. You're not having to settle for the only thing in front of you." He stated this as he looked at Louise dancing with Jenny.

"What, you're settling?" I asked, surprised.

"Not me, no," he said quickly.

I looked at Louise, her face flushed with exertion and joy as she danced. "She isn't settling with you either, you know. She has more men who chase her than pairs of shoes, and trust me, that's a lot." I laughed, then added more seriously, "She likes you. Trust me, she wouldn't be with you if she didn't."

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