Page 37 of To Her

She wasn't wrong, and we both knew it. I had been using work as an excuse to put some distance between Con and me while I figured out how I felt. The problem was, I still had no idea.

"It's complicated," I said finally.

"It always is," Lily agreed. "But sometimes, it's only complicated because we make it that way."

I didn't have a response to that, so I changed the subject. "My friends are coming tomorrow. We're going to Lakeview for a few days."

"I know," she said. "Con mentioned it. He seems excited."

Of course he did. And of course he was. Because despite my attempts to create some space, we were still friends, and he still cared about me. And I still cared about him. That was the problem.

"Yeah, it should be fun," I said, trying to sound enthusiastic. "Louise and Jenny are great, and I haven't seen them in ages."

"And Con's going too?"

"For one day, yeah. He couldn't get more time off."

Lily nodded, a knowing smile playing at her lips. "Well, have fun. And maybe use the time to figure out what you actually want, instead of just running from what scares you."

I threw a pillow at her, which she caught with a laugh.

"I'm going to shower," I announced, grabbing my toiletry bag. "I smell like the restaurant."

"Can't argue with that," she teased.

Under the hot spray of the shower, I let my mind wander. What did I want? It was a question I'd been avoiding since Cam's revelation. Did I want Con? Did I want to risk our friendship for something more? Did I even believe what Cam had said?

And then there was Matt's text, and my noncommittal reply. Part of me still wondered about him, still felt that pull despite everything. And Alex, who was thankfully not coming on this trip, but who still messaged me daily as if we were in a relationship, which we definitely weren't.

My love life was a mess, and I knew it. But addressing it meant facing feelings I wasn't ready to face, meant making decisions I wasn't ready to make.

So instead, I focused on the immediate future: three days in Lakeview with my friends, skiing, drinking, and hopefully not thinking too much about any of this.

By the time I emerged from the bathroom, Lily was already asleep. I packed quietly for my trip, laying out clothes for the morning, and set my alarm. Despite my exhaustion, sleep was elusive, my mind racing with thoughts of Con, of the tangled web I'd somehow woven for myself.

When I finally drifted off, my dreams were a confused jumble of faces and feelings, leaving me restless and unrested when my alarm blared at 6 AM.

I dragged myself out of bed, dressed in the outfit I'd laid out—jeans, a warm sweater, and my heaviest boots—and grabbed my pre-packed bag. Lily stirred as I moved around the room.

"Have fun," she mumbled sleepily. "And talk to Con."

"Go back to sleep," I replied, ignoring her advice.

Outside, the morning was crisp and clear, the sun just beginning to peek over the mountains. I made my way to the meeting point we'd agreed on, a coffee shop in the center of town. Con was already there, nursing a large cup and looking annoyingly awake and cheerful.

"Morning, sunshine," he greeted me with a grin. "You look like you could use this."

He pushed a second cup toward me—coffee, milk and sugar, just how I liked it. The gesture was so thoughtful, so typically Con, that I felt a pang of guilt for avoiding him.

"You're a lifesaver," I said, taking a grateful sip.

"I know," he replied, his eyes twinkling. "Ready for three days of freedom?"

"God, yes," I sighed. "If I have to remake one more bed with hospital corners, I might actually commit murder."

Con laughed, the sound warming me more than the coffee. "Mrs. Harrington would be your first victim, I assume?"

"Without question," I confirmed, finding myself smiling despite my exhaustion and conflicted feelings.

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