She saw herself clench her fists.
“I’m notspecial,Nephele! They are taking citizens from our city to fight in a war, and I can’t just sit in the tavern playing songs night after night, knowing that I could do something to help!”
She saw Nephele’s face pinch with distress.
“Then we will go together.”
“Nephele, no, I—”
“Renata, I’m coming. I can lend medical aid, work in the field hospital. I can help. If you go, I go. That was our promise to each other. That we would never leave the other behind or alone. I’m coming.”
Ren was whipped back into the ether and then landed hard on her feet, standing once more before Nainaur in the dusty tavern.
“Nephele. You took these memories from Nephele.”
The god nodded sadly. “He loves you, Renata. He still waits for you to return to him.”
She was so dizzy. Through Nephele’s memories, she could feel his love. How honored he felt to be a part of Renata’s life. She felt the want in his heart when he kissed her and his determination to follow her even into war. That was everything, wasn’t it? A love like that.
“I broke my promise,” she said, almost whispering, voice cracking, “I broke my promise to Nephele. I left him alone. I left him behind.”
Nainaur set his hand on Ren’s shoulder.
“It wasn’t your fault, Renata. I know you’ve been running. Running from your memories and your fears. I want to help you. I want to send you back to your family. I want you to recover those moments of happiness and live your life the way you are supposed to be living it. In the sun. Not trapped and groping for meaning in The Hells.”
Renata felt her eyes prickle.
“You can do that? You can send me back? Break my contract?”
His kind eyes surveyed her once more.
“I can, my child. But only if you recover the Vutar’ka Zhartun. And I know where you can start. Azur, your patron, knows of its location. Find out where it is, and seek it out. Only then will I be able to restore your memories and return you back home.”
There it is, then—the way forward. But then why did she still have doubts? Was she standing in her own way, determined not to be happy? In the end, this was why she was here. To follow this through. What was the alternative? That she would live in The Hells, trapped like Jester, fulfilling deed after deed for Azur?
Jester…
“If you can break my contract, could you break someone else’s?” she blurted.
He gave her a concerned look.
“I try to stay out of my brother’s machinations.”
“I have a friend—Jester. He has been a slave to Azur for a long time, and maybe, if I get you the tome, you can free him too?”
the god responded, sounding almost proud.
“You are truly a kind person. Yes. I think I might be able to make an exception for Jester.”
Ren let out a long breath.
“Okay. I’ll get the information from Azur.”
The god kept his smile.
“I will leave you now, Renata. Please find Vutar’ka Zhartun. The longer you terry, the more people will suffer. Remember, Nephele is waiting.”
He vanished.