“Ren. Ren!” a voice came.
She started to lose her footing and fall, but as she did, Azur reached out to steady her, scooping her up in his arms.
“Godsdammit, Ren!” he said as he crossed the room quickly, pushed the giant stacks of documents off his table, and laid her there.
She was gasping now, eyes beginning to blur, struggling to suck even the tiniest amount of oxygen into her burning lungs.
Azur had one arm wrapped around her, and the other pushed silver hair from her sweating face, cupping her cheek.
“Look at me, Ren. Just look at me.”
She did. His eyes were fire, the color of the flame before blue and yellow met.
“You’re safe here with me, Ren. You willnotbe used by Xarek.”
Her eyes were unfocused. She was losing herself again. She was going to fall deeper into a black hole that she didn’t even know if she wanted to crawl out of.
“I have you, Ren.” He placed one large hand in between her breast bone. “Just stay with me.”
But she couldn’t. There was nothing else for her to stay for. Her eyes streamed salty tears that landed in her open mouth, still futilely fighting for snatches of air.
“Let me help you,” he said softly. “You have toletme help you. But it’s your choice. This doesn’t have to be the end of your story.”
He was right, wasn’t he? She wasn’t sure if she was a good person. She knew whatever she had been couldn’t be forgiven. But that didn’t mean life had to stop for her. She got to decide who she was, didn’t she? Didn’tRenhave the right to make her own choices?
She grabbed him by his vest and pleaded with her eyes.
Don’t let me die here, Azur.
He blinked. His hand was still on her breastbone, which started to glow with warm magic. Black wisps curled aroundhis fingers and flowed into her chest. Her throat instantly began to loosen, small fragments of air finally making their way into her lungs. She sputtered and gasped as tears streamed down her face.
Azur leaned his forehead to hers.
“That’s it, just breathe. A little at a time.”
She obeyed until her rigid body loosened and her watery vision cleared. She realized she was still clutching him, and he still had her locked in an embrace.
“You’re okay now,” he said, releasing her and straightening.
“W-what the hell was that?” she croaked.
The Devil looked at her pityingly.
“You had a panic attack, Ren.”
“A panic attack? But…I’ve never had that before. Why-what happened?”
Azur shoved his hands in his pockets.
“Wait. HaveI had these before?” she asked.
He did not respond.
She pushed herself up and stumbled down from the desk.
“I’mfine,”she barked as Azur reached to steady her. “It’s just a shit ton of shit to process and I can’t—what does this mean for me?”
Her breath was still uneven.