Page 105 of Hell-Bound

She couldn’t stop imagining how different their experiences would have been. Azur might have traced the seam of her lips with his hands, and his eyes would have looked almost tormented with longing before he lowered his head, lips barely brushing hers before he finally kissed her. How the kiss would start gradually, agonizing in its slow intensity, almost reverent. She imagined how his breath would catch as they deepened their kiss and how his hands would cradle her head, brushing his thumb across her cheek. Perhaps he would even tremble with anticipation as their bodies touched and hands began to explore. Had she ever been kissed like that?

Ren’s mind shifted unexpectedly to Nephele, as it so rarely did, and guilt squeezed in her gut. She was out on another plane chasing her identity. She was fantasizing about kissing Devils as Nephele waited, alone, in Vergessen. Nephele had joined a war for her, agreeing to risk his life. He stood by her, even when he knew her to be a monster. How much loyaltydid she owe Nephele?

She had decided, alone on the floor of that tavern, to choose herself—to be Ren, but it was becoming increasingly clear that this choice had its own set of painful consequences. She had shut the door on people that loved her. Despite her best efforts, she would still be the villain in someone’s story.

Ren blinked several times, realizing that the purple lightning was decreasing with intensity, and she was having a hard time distinguishing which trees she had already passed. Following her instincts, she searched for a large tree to sleep in for the night. Balance had yet to be a problem for her, and she noticed that once she had scaled a gargantuan one, she felt quite comfortable being held by its branched arms.

Ren was already asleep by the time the final streaks of lightning vanished from the sky.

But her sleep—so desperately needed—did not give her the reprieve she sought.

Her mind saw layers of white clouds, each pulling away lazily like curtains to reveal an aerial view of Vergessen. It was night, and the small town was quiet, with twinkling lanterns in old lamp posts lining the main street. She watched as she floated through the air, making her way through town. Ren was surprised that she was glad to see the familiar streets. The potted plants on sills, so green and lush, and the twinkling of stars reminded her that life existed outside The Hells.

Her incorporeal body drifted until she approached her parent’s home. A male was standing outside wearing a white robe with touches of gold. Ren immediately recognized his white hair, which was tied in a low tail.

Leo.

She watched as her father, bleary-eyed, answered the door.

“Good evening. Is this the residence of Clara and Atlas Eldanuer?” Leo asked.

“Yes, I’m Atlas. Is everything okay?” he asked, panic evident in his voice.

Over Leo’s shoulder, she could see her mother turn the corner.

“Who’s at the door, my love?”

Leo raised his hands and motioned to someone standing a few feet away. He was dragging an Elf who was gagged and blindfolded. Ren watched in horror as the other two acolytes, who she recognized as Brennan and Claudia, shoved a thrashing Nephele through the door before they pushed their way inside.

Atlas hit the floor harshly, and Claudia slapped a hand roughly around Clara’s mouth to stifle her screams. Brennan shut the door behind him, Ren’s form following close behind. She had no body, no voice, and was once again powerless to help.

“Don’t fight,” Claudia hissed, white puffs of air flowing from her fingers like steam.

Brennan and Leo clapped hands over their own mouths as the fluffy air floated down and entered their victims’ nostrils.

Atlas, Clara, and Nephele promptly stopped struggling and settled themselves passively on the floor as Brennan scrambled to tie them up.

“Is she here?” Brennan asked Leo, eyes wide.

Leo turned and looked about the room.

“She is. Renata. I know you can hear me. Please do not make me hurt your family.”

His words were biting, but there was fear behind his eyes.

“Find the tome. I will not take responsibility for your inaction. Nainaur will forgive my sins,” he said, voice cracking. “He will absolve me as he will absolve you, but only if you find the tome.”

Ren woke with a start, lurching forward, almost pitching herself off the tree.

Her breath shook.

“What the fuck do you expect me to do?” she screamedat the heavens.

It was already morning, and several startled bird-like creatures launched themselves into the sky.

“I don’t know where to look! You haven’t helped me!”

She was vibrating with anger and whirled on the tree, slamming her fist hard into its rough bark, splitting skin. She inhaled sharply as the pain surged through her fist. Angry tears welled in her eyes, and her whole body shook. She put both fists to her eyes and tried to steady her breathing. She knew enough to realize it wasn’t a mere dream. It was either real or a threat. Either way, she had to act.

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