Page 74 of The Bad Mother's Diary
I said, ‘Cheeseburger Happy Meal with carrot sticks please.’
He said, ‘So fries, yeah?’
I said, ‘No. Carrot sticksinsteadof fries.’
He said, ‘Carrotsticks?’ Like I’d asked for grilled lobster.
Callum said, ‘No Aunty Julesy, I want fries.’
The server said, ‘So fries, yeah?’
I said, ‘NO. Carrot sticks.’
The Happy Meal came with fries.
While we were eating, Callum said, ‘Do you hate Uncle Nick?’
I said, ‘I don’t hate him. I just feel very, very sad when I think about him.’
Callum said, ‘Mummy says Uncle Nick is a right busted.’
I said, ‘Yes Callum. Uncle Nickisa right busted. But he’s still Daisy’s dad.’
Callum said, ‘I never see my dad. And I don’t care. Daisy won’t care either.’
Sometimes Callum is wise beyond his years. Maybe it comes of having a mum who’s still a baby herself.
Friday July 24th
Got a handwritten letter from Nick.
Unusual for him. He prefers computers. His handwriting looked like he’d used a pen made of brambles.
At first I wondered why he hadn’t texted or called. But then I remembered I’d blocked his number.
The letter said,
Juliette,
Baby. I know I’ve fucked up. The DNA test – so not my idea.
I miss my little Daisy boo. Is she saying daddy yet? Does she still look like me?
Can I see my little girl? Pretty please? I know I’ve been an arsehole but I’m still her dad.
Can we talk?
Nick.
He’d put a big flourishy signature under his name, like when he signs his autograph on theatre programmes.
I couldn’t stop crying.
I’ve read and re-read the letter all day.
I still can’t forgive Nick, but ... maybe I’m being too harsh … maybe we really can make a go of things. For Daisy’s sake. We’re supposed to be a family.
Saturday July 25th
