“Different isn’t always bad, you know.”
“I suppose.”
“Your father was a whore. Did you know that?” My brows lift. “Of course you did.” She lets out a low laugh, shaking her head. “Before me. Then he fell on his ass when I came into his life.”
“That he did.” I have never heard of my father stepping out on my mother. He loves her, and she’d also cut his throat while he slept if he even thought about it.
I never understood how dimwitted a man needs to be to mistreat his wife and then lie next to her and sleep at night. Not only that—women are cunning and patient. They will bide their time. Do not underestimate a woman's wrath. It’s not if it will come but when.
“He knew what I was to him from the start. I think you also knew who Tova was from the start.” She eyes me in a way only a mother ever could. I give a slight nod, my eyes drifting onceagain over my mother's head to Tova. Her father spins her in a circle, making her giggle. “Then it doesn’t matter.”
“What?” I ask, dragging my attention away from my wife. I’m not sure my fingers could even get the delicate buttons of her dress off. I’d ruin it. I couldn’t just replace it. She had made it her own, sewing pockets into the sides. They are hardly noticeable, but I knew she would put her own spin on it, and I was looking for them. Since it’s partly her creation, there will be no ripping of the buttons.
“This is what I mean.” Mom glances over toward Tova. “It doesn’t matter. It’s too late. There is no fighting what you feel for her.”
“I’m not fighting that.” I lost that battle long ago. Not sure you could even call it a battle.
“Then what? I see you too in these moments, and then you go cold on her.”
“I didn’t?—”
Mom holds up a finger to silence me. “I wasn’t done.” I keep my mouth shut. Especially now that my wife is watching me dance with my mom with a smile on her face. If I pissed my mother off, Tova would notice, and then that smile might fade away. “You avoid her for days.”
“It’s for her own good,” I say too defensively. Tova has to think I’m some beast at this point. I’m always pouncing on her one way or another.
I didn’t mean to be harsh when I stalked her down at the dock. I was worried. She can’t go slipping out at night all alone. I don’t care if it was still on our land.
“Is it because, as I said, it doesn’t matter? You’re done for. Fighting that will only hurt her.” My mom goes to step back, but I stop her.
“Why?” I don't mean to hurt her. I prefer when she smiles at me. I don’t mind when she rolls her eyes at me either. It’s ratheradorable. It’s the tears that irk me. They get under my skin and make me want to do whatever it takes to make them stop. To make sure she’s never sad because of me.
“Oh, you want advice now?” She smirks. It’s playful.
“Mom.”
“No girl wants the man she is to marry to avoid her. Ignore her. Do better.”
“I promise you. I have never ignored her.” Ignoring her is an impossible task. Fruitless. "She was forced to marry me."
My mom throws back her head and laughs. "How are you men so brilliant at times and utterly stupid at others?"
"It's a gift," I reply with a hint of sarcasm.
"That girl loves you."
My feet stop moving. The music doesn't. It is not until this moment that I realize how badly I want that to be true. "She doesn't."
"She does."
"She cried when she found out she had to marry me."
“You should ask her about it, then.”
“It’s far too late for that.” The gold band on my finger is proof of that.
“It’s never too late.” Mom pats my cheek twice before stepping away.
I watch Tova along with everyone else as her father spins her again.