Page 55 of Mean Machine

“You’re really quite popular, Brooklyn. The title fight attracted a lot of attention. People feel you deserve a second chance.”

“But, no. From the start. I thought you’d dropped the lawsuit.” Brooklyn stared at the papers. “Les said you’d abandoned the whole thing.”

“I did.” Nathaniel folded his hands again. “I received a call from a senior member of my profession who told me if I kept pushing for a retrial at the Court of Appeal, I’d be in very hot water. The press knew we were lovers. They knew I was going to represent you, and they would have had a field day with all the dirty details and splashed them across the front pages. This older colleague said I was being unprofessional and was about to taint the reputation of the Inns of Court.” Nathaniel’s face twitched. Brooklyn could imagine that. Nathaniel chastised by a man he respected and quite possibly feared too.

“But worse, he said I might be attracting too much attention. Already, the press was digging around in my personal life. My recent divorce, the adoption, my family’s history and background and financial standing…. Meanwhile, Rupert Edwards could have used all of that as leverage, plus his own political power. I’d have taken him on, but unlike you, I frankly don’t have the courage and determination to fight the whole world. So I had to be more creative.”

“No, I get it. But why did you get involved in the first place?”

“You think I might have seen it coming?” Nathaniel ran his hands through his hair. “Maybe I could have. Before you, I never cared much about boxing.”

“So what’s your dirty secret? What did they have on you?”

“My daughter.” Nathaniel almost whispered. “Hazel.”

“The kid.”

“Yes.” He shook his head. “The amount of paperwork and sweat to adopt her, that on top of the divorce…. My senior colleague told me, in essence, that I was too vulnerable right now for shady dealings, as they would cast an uncomfortable light on my own family situation, as he put it.”

Brooklyn had wondered how a gay guy had ended up with a child and why he’d been so protective. No wife in the attic, then. Just some dumb stroke of luck that Nathaniel had a habit of getting way too involved with people. Hazel. “They blackmailed you.”

“I could have fought them, but I was scared they’d find a reason to take her back. Like you, I wanted a family. A child. Somebody who would be there for me.” Nathaniel turned away as if fighting for his composure.

Brooklyn reached out and touched him on the shoulder. “And? Is she all right?”

“Yes.”

“Bloody fucking hell.” Brooklyn shook his head, not sure what to do with his hand, still on Nathaniel’s arm. “So they made you choose between your daughter and me.”

“Yes. I’m afraid it’s not an easy choice, but I’ve made it. I needed you to know I had very good reasons for doing what I did. I’m very, very sorry, Brooklyn. And I’m glad you’re free. You certainly deserve it.” Nathaniel gathered his things and stood.

“And you’re leaving now. I mean, for real.”

Nathaniel looked stricken. “Please be fair. I know I abused your trust. Me abandoning you is unforgiveable. I know that. Tell me to get the hell out of your life, and I will.”

“Why me, then? If you’re not into boxing, what was your interest in me?”

Nathaniel pressed his lips together. He didn’t speak for a long while, but Brooklyn gave him that time. He needed to know. “It’s because of Hazel.”

“What?”

“My life was just about studying, and then work, work, work. I realised I didn’t have a lot to live for. Previous relationships were eaten up by my career. I did manage to get married to a colleague, because I so desperately wanted a family, and it worked for a few years while we were still trying to get established, but once we did, we realised we’re a good team but not great life partners. I thought at least a child would give me a good reason to be less selfish.” He shook his head again. “Hazel’s your daughter. Hell, she even looks like you.”

“What? How?”

“Your ex-wife gave her up after birth. I understand she wanted a clean break. Needed it. She’d been struggling with post-partum depression and other issues. She understood she wasn’t in any state to look after a child. I tracked back who her biological father is because I was curious. Nature and nurture—I was worried when I heard that her father was a violent criminal, and felt that if I could meet you I’d be able to assess her better—make sure any issues are dealt with professionally and early. But then, when we met, you weren’t like that at all, and I began to feel compassion and curiosity, and those have got me into trouble before.”

Strangely, Brooklyn believed that.I have a daughter, he thought. Over and over. His brain was unable to skip past that and kept returning to the adorable image of Nathaniel on the beach, Hazel’s arms around his neck; Hazel asleep peacefully against Nathaniel’s chest in his study. The fierce protectiveness, the refusal to speak about her. When Nathaniel might still have feared he could lose her.

“Can I see her?”

Nathaniel nodded. “You might even be able to push for your paternity to be acknowledged.” He pressed his lips together and looked terribly conflicted. “Of course, you can attempt this. It’s your moral right. She’s your daughter more than mine, but I ask you not to.” He looked nervous, even scared, and guilty as hell. “I’d offer you money for your silence on the matter, but somehow I don’t believe you could be bought out like this.”

Every man has a price.

Seemed Nathaniel, ironically, was the only man who thought he couldn’t buy Brooklyn.

“Like I’d get custody of her. Broke ex-con with a history of violence and no job. They wouldn’t hand over a child to somebody like me.” Hazel. His kid. Not his kid. She’d be much better off growing up as Nathaniel’s daughter. It ached, though. She’d seemed like such a small, precious thing, sleeping so peacefully, trusting so completely. Oddly, it gave him hope. If kids could be like that while the world around them was turning to shit—

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