Page 47 of Stuck With Mr. Frosty

“Not sure there’s anything to fix. I’ve done a pretty fine job of messing things up.”

“I don’t think there’s anything you messed up so bad that can’t be fixed. Mia seems like a very forgiving person. She likes you. If she didn’t, she wouldn’t have tried as hard as she did to get to know you.”

“I know that things are complicated.” I stab another bite of my breakfast, inspecting it for little bits of shell. All that’s there is ham and cheese. And something green that smells a little like onion. It’s safe.

“Things can’t be that complicated. I think you two are both making this more complicated than it needs to be. It’s been a week, and the two of you barely said more than three words to each other. She’s been sleeping in the bedroom while you’ve been out on the couch. Honey is moving around like she doesn’t know where she’s supposed to be.”

Before I can say anything else, Mia comes over and sits down beside me, dropping her tray on the table.

She gives Ryder her bright smile before turning to me. “You know what? I’m tired of avoiding this conversation or whatever the hell is going on between the two of us. So, I guess it’s up to me again to try and fix this. Although, I’ll be honest right now. I don’t know why I’m bothering quite so hard for us when you clearly don’t care.”

Ryder gets to his feet, leaving his breakfast behind. “I think that’s my cue to go get some more coffee.”

Mia twists in her seat to face me, crossing one leg over the other. “What happened?”

“Doesn’t matter what happened. All that matters is that in a week, we’re both done here.”

“Sure, you could pretend that it doesn’t matter, but if you feel for me even half of what I feel for you, then you have to think it matters. Or you could tell me that we’re done without even trying to figure out what the hell happened. Though it seems to me like something happened, but you’re not enough of a man to actually communicate with me about it.”

“Sure, you could think that if you want.” I take another bite of the eggs. “I don’t know what else there is to tell you. You’ve got your plans after this season ends. I’ve got my plans. And it’s pretty clear that the two of them are never gonna line up.”

Mia scoffs. “You’ve got to be kidding me. That’s all this is about? My plans? I don’t have any plans — like I’ve been telling you the entire season. So maybe you don’t believe me.”

“Oh, okay. I don’t believe you. I wonder why you would spend this entire season telling me that you don’t have plans when we both know that you’ve got a life to turn back to after this.”

“What life?” She throws her hands up in the air, her cheeks turning a bright red, her eyes flashing with anger. “I’m alone. I have nobody I’m going home to.”

“I think it’s best that you leave.” The words feel like they’re made of shattered glass. They grate on my throat, tearing me from the inside out.

I don’t want to keep fighting with her. Maybe I should tell her that it’s going to be okay. That we can do whatever she wants. It’s what used to work in the foster homes to keep the fighting to a minimum.

But how can I give up on my life and my dreams?

Although I think those dreams have changed since I met her.

Pretending I’m distant is better. I lean back in my chair and shrug, continuing to eat my breakfast. I’m being cold, and it’s cruel, but it’s the only way I think I can convince her to give up on me.

Mia’s eyes shine with tears as she nods. “You know what, fine. You win. No matter what comes between us right now, I hope you’re happy with your life.”

She gets up, the legs of her chair screeching against the tile floor. Multiple people in the room turn to look at us, but I ignore them all, instead watching my plate and listening for the steady beat of her footsteps to fade. I don’t know if I could have made more of a mess of this than I already have.

I immediately feel bad, regretting what I did. As I stand up to chase after her, Ryder steps in my path. He puts his hand on my chest and holds me in place. “I think it’s better that you don’t follow her right now.”

“I made a mistake.”

He shakes his head. “No, at this point all you’ve made is a series of choices. You picked the path that you’ve now gone down. You don’t want to talk to anybody about what happened. You won’t even talk to her. And even if you would, I think that she’s heard everything she needs to hear.”

“She’s better off without me.” My lips press together as I struggle to keep my breathing even and my eyes from burning. “I’ve gotta go to work.”

“Of course, yeah.” Ryder shakes his head and sits back down in front of this food. “One day you’re going to wake up and see what you did here, and you’re gonna want to fix it. That regret is gonna eat you alive, and you’re going to think, well, what would have happened if I just told her the truth. Or if I had never started whatever the hell this is in the first place. And then you will spend the rest of your life living with that regret because that right there is probably the best woman I’ve ever met. Sure, she’s got her issues. We all do. But she fought for you from the beginning. And now look at how you’re treating her.”

“I know.” I turn and head for the door.

I know he’s right. There’s nothing else I can do. I screwed up. I’m an idiot. I know I should go after Mia and tell her everything at this point, but I can’t.

It’s stupid to think that I won’t be alone. I’m not going to be anything but a terrible partner.

I step outside, the fresh air nearly soothing some of the spiraling thoughts in my head as I take deep breaths. I made my bed.

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