Page 2 of Grumpy Billionaire Seeking Wife

“I want to know who's pregnant.” James cackles and hits the side of the recliner as he stands up. “As long as it ain’t me. My kids would hate to have to share a dime of my money with anyone else.”

“Pregnant? What?” Abigail's face tightens as she steps further into the room, and I know that she’s going to head into cardiac arrest if the conversation continues any longer.

“He’s joking; aren’t you, James?” I give him a look. I don’t want to get in trouble for answering a personal call during working hours.

“He was joking.” MaryAnn comes to my rescue, and I’m grateful when everyone stands up and heads to the front of the room. “James was just telling a joke that was in poor taste, as usual.”

“Come along,” Abigail says with a sigh. “Linda is waiting to sing, and she has to have her meds in forty-five minutes.”

“Oh, thank God,” James says loudly. “That woman can’t sing to save her life, and my earbuds might actually explode if I have to listen to her for more?—”

“Now, now, James.” I give him a warning look as he grabs my arm. “Linda has a fine voice.”

“Fine if you’re on the way out of the room...in a coffin.”

“Sounds like you should have been in the talent show, as well.” Abigail presses her lips together. “Seeing as you’re such a talented comedian.”

“I’m talented at other things, as well.” He winks and then starts to unbuckle his pants, and all commotion breaks out in the room. I press my lips together and try not to laugh. This isn’t the job of my dreams, but it always leads to comical relief.

“He did not pull his pants down!” Erica screeches with laughter as we chow down on pork gyoza and mentai fries. My stomach is happy, and my heart is content as I sit with my friends in the small, crowded restaurant.

“He did.” I giggle and take a long sip of the peach sake that we were all sharing. “Abigail nearly had a fit.”

“Oh, I bet.” Erica claps gleefully, her long, dark hair bouncing against her back as she moves. Her brown eyes are bright, and her good mood is contagious. “We really need to interview some of the residents at your job for our podcast when we start it. They will have some awesome and hilarious insights into romance and literature.”

“Yeah, that would be cool.” I nod, wondering if Abigail would ever let that happen. She’d be going on about legal and privacy laws and all sorts of bullshit, like I was trying to sell their bank account information to hackers in Russia as opposed to trying to start a podcast with my best friend.

“So then what happened?” Suki eats a piece of sushi delicately, her short straight black bob framing her face beautifully and highlighting her cheekbones in a way that makes all of us girls jealous.

“Abigail banned him from the show and started screaming and shouting, so I had to escort him to his room.” I giggle. “Which was his plan all along. About ten minutes later, MaryAnn came knocking at the door.”

“No way! What are you saying here? To hang out or tohangout?” Helena asks, and all three girls lean forward for my answer. “Don’t leave us hanging, Sab.” Helena’s dark brown eyes are glittering, and I can tell she’s already slightly buzzed because normally she’s very serious about everything. She’s pre-med and almost always studying, so I’m glad to see her out with us tonight.

“Well…” I grin as I grab a piece of agedashi tofu and dip it into the sauce before eating it slowly. The girls glare at me as I leave them hanging, but I feel a bit guilty for salaciously retelling stories from Creative Humans Retirement Center. It’s not like the residents would care that my friends and I talked about theirexploits, but it does sometimes make me feel like a bit of a gossip reporter, and that is not something I aspire to be.

“Tell us, Sab.” Erica pokes me in the side. “And preferably sometime this year.”

“Let’s just say that MaryAnn wasn’t planning on reading him a bedtime story.”

“Get it, grandma.” Helena laughs and plays with the thick black plait that is hanging over her shoulder. “I hope to be having fun like that when I’m old.”

“You don’t even have fun like that now,” Suki jokes, and Helena mock glares at her. They both laugh and grab some fries. “So, do you guys want to order anything else?” Suki asks. “I was thinking maybe the salmon yakisoba and some skewers.” She looks down at the large menu and scrolls through it. “And another bottle of sake.” She giggles and then sighs. “I have sad news, guys.”

“Oh, no, what happened?” I ask quickly. “Is everything okay?”

“Cody and I broke up.” She makes a face, and her eyes water. “He’s a jerk, and I told him that I didn’t want to grow old with a man like him.”

“Grow old with?” Erica sounds bemused. “Did he propose or something?” The disbelief drips from her tongue, and I shift my thigh to the side to hit her. Sometimes she can be a bit too blunt.

“Well, no, but we all know it was headed down that road,” Suki says with a shrug as she grabs another piece of sushi. I don’t know if she truly believes what she’s saying or if this is some sort of coping mechanism, but I decide to keep my mouth shut.

“The only road that was going down was STD Boulevard,” Erica says loudly. “Girl, that man was not going to marry you. Did he even make it official?”

“Well...” Suki pauses, and Helena and I exchange nervous glances because Suki sometimes lives life in a reality that is notreal and doesn’t always take it well when she’s called out. “Fine, he was a fuckboy.” She makes a face. “He literally came to my dorm room, smelling like sex, with another girl’s panties in his pocket.”

“No way.” My jaw drops. “What a prick.”

“And he had the gall to pretend like they were my panties. I don’t wear granny panties.” She fumes. “Anyway, there we were, on my bed, fooling around, my bra was off, and he was pulling down my shorts, when I saw these panties fall to the bed.” She pauses. “Well, it suddenly hit me that this was not going anywhere.”

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