Page 17 of Grumpy Billionaire Seeking Wife

“Are you Rudolph, and does Santa know you got away?” Erica shoots back, and I can’t stop a giggle from escaping.

“What?” He looks over at Erica blankly and then back at me. “Got away from where? What have you heard?”

“It was a joke about Santa Claus,” I say quickly, not wanting the joke to derail the date from the first minute.

“Oh.” He pauses. “I thought your friend was mentioning someone else. I was like, "What has she heard?”

“You got away from somewhere?” I ask him, confused. Please don't say jail.

“Not jail or anything. I’m no Shawshank.” He looks back at his friend, and they both laugh uncomfortably. I press my lips together. This is definitely not going to be the last first date of my life. There is no way in hell. Unless I get hit by a car, end up in the hospital, and then Rudolpho pulls aWhile You Were Sleepingmove and pretends to be my fake boyfriend. Then, when I wake up, I have amnesia. Which is very unlikely.

“You’ve cast a spell on me already.” Rudolpho looks me up and down, and suddenly, I’m wishing that I wasn’t so boobalicious in this top. The hearts in my tight red top are laughing at me, and I’m trying to avoid pulling down my short skirt. “You look ravishing.”

“Thank you,” I say with a small smile because even though I’m not into him, I am always down for a compliment. “You look...” I pause for a few moments to find the right word. “Unique. What’s your friend's name again?”

“Bad Boy Joe.” He nods to Rupunzel’s cousin and then looks over at Erica. “And who’s this baddie?”

“My name is Erica.” Erica offers her hand like she’s the queen and Rudolpho is one of the citizens of her country. “Nice to make your acquaintance.”

“Oooh wee, it’s like that, is it?” Rudolpho looks at me, his eyebrows raised and lips twisted. He looks like his photo, but not really. I’m trying to figure out what he did to make himself look so handsome and distinguished in his online photos when in real life, he is quite the opposite. “Acquaintance girl? That's not all you'll be making. In fact, I was thinking that?—”

“Erica is my best friend,” I cut him off as I’m almost positive he’s going to say something rude.

“This place looooooks expensive aaaaaaaas shiiiiiiit,” Bad Boy Joe says slowly, like he’s a wannabe rapper. Could the evening get any worse? “Best be worth it, booooyy.” He holds his hand up, and Rudolpho slaps it. The two men then bump shoulders, and I can see Erica rolling her eyes. The two men were not exactly giving Fitzwilliam Darcy fromPride and Prejudicea run for his money. He then looks over at me and snaps his fingers. “Wicked.” He looks me up and down and then sways his head back and forth. “Sup.” He nods, and I issue him a polite smile before nodding to Erica.

“She’s your date,” I say quickly and mouth an apology to Erica, who gives me a death glare.

“Nothing to sneeze at,” Bad Boy Joe says as he looks Erica up and down.

“Excuse me? What does that mean?” Erica asks like some sort of fool. Even I know that when someone is talking nonsense, you don’t ask them for an explanation. You just ignore them unless you want to be inundated with even more nonsense.

“I said what I said. Chill, girl. I would still hit it. Am I right?” Bad Boy Joe, who I actually think should go by Rude Boy Joe, smirks. “You cute.”

“Sabrina.” Erica gives me a look, and I know she’s about to call the date off. I give her a pleading look, even though every brain cell in my head is telling me to leave.

“Maybe it will get better.” Even I don’t believe my own words. “Think about the podcast,” I reiterate, and she groans.

“My brother better give us ten billion dollars for this podcast.” She smiles reluctantly as she rubs her forehead. I know Erica well enough to know that when she’s this pissed off, nothing but a couple of drinks and a lot of laughs is going to help.

“We’ll just order all the good stuff on the menu,” I whisper to her. “It’s a date, so they’ll be paying.”

“Dom Perignon it is.” She giggles and fluffs her hair. “So, did you guys have a reservation?” She looks over to Rudolpho, who is smiling at me warmly. I remind myself that this is a guy I’ve been speaking to online for a couple of weeks, and he’s been great. Just because he isn’t Brad Pitt doesn’t mean he isn’t worth a shot. I try not to compare him to how good Wes looked in his tousled shirt and tie. Stupid Wes. Why would he pop back into my life on the night of my hot date? I conveniently try to forget that I’m the dumbass that went to his apartment. I should have known that he wouldn’t be out of town like Erica said.

“Reservation?” Rudolpho looks blankly back at me. “Like, for dinner?”

“I mean, it’s not breakfast time, is it?” Erica retorts, and Bad Boy Joe swings back and forth.

“Boomshakalaka,” he says under his breath, and I frown. What the hell is he talking about? Remain calm, Sabrina. You do not have good health insurance. You do not want to wind up in the emergency room from a stroke or heart attack and be in debt for the rest of your life.

“Let me see what’s up.” Rudolpho looks at my cleavage and then walks over to the host. Bad Boy Joe stands there and pulls out his phone and starts playing music loudly through the speaker. My face burns in shame as guests nearby look over at us with disgusted looks. Bad Boy Joe starts humming along to the music, and I realize that he’s playing his song, most probably trying to garner our attention.

“We can still leave.” Erica steps closer to me and whispers in a panicked tone. I’m about to agree to go when her phone beeps. She looks at the screen and makes a face. “Just great.”

“What?”

“Nothing,” she says, shaking her head and putting her phone back into her handbag. “Let’s just make the most of this free meal and have fun.”

“We can try,” I say, trying to ignore Bad Boy Joe as he starts doing some sort of dance move next to us. He’s obviously trying to get our attention, but I’m just trying to pretend that the moldy smell wafting up my nose is not from his hair. I don’t know if he thinks he’s Bob Marley’s less talented and hip white cousin, but he’s getting on my nerves. I’m thankful that he’s not my date, but I’m sure that Erica will exact her revenge on me in some way.

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