Page 71 of The Drop

"Brooke, I said I'm not doing this now." She opens the door. "For the last time, please just come downstairs and we can talk later."

"If we don't do this now, I will never speak to you again," I suck in a deep breath and say as calmly as I can, wiping my eyes with the back of my hand. This is it, all she has to do is shut the door and sit down with me to talk, and then I'll do what she wants. She just needs to be there for me, for once

"I'm going downstairs to my guests." She stares me in the eyes, emotionless, and turns to walk down the stairs.

"I mean it, Mom, "I whisper, but she's gone.

I grab my bag and head down the stairs and out the front door, not stopping to see who watches me go.

Throwing myself into the Jeep. I grip the steering wheel tightly, turning my head to look at my childhood home.

This is the last time I'm going to see it because I will never set foot in there with her again.

Throughout her life, she had always wanted the perfect daughter. I never measured up, and instead of just being proudof who I was, she made me feel like I had to do better; if I couldn't, then I would keep trying until I could.

It was exhausting.

I can't do it anymore; I don't need to be the perfect daughter. I need to be me, but I had never had the opportunity to find myself until now.

Now I have, I can't fit myself into my mom's mould anymore.

I need to be me, without her.

Chapter Thirty One

Brooke

I start the car and head back towards the apartment in silence, not wanting to listen to anything that's going to make me cry more than I already am.

This morning, I had so much hope that my mom and I could fix this, that she would finally become the mother I needed.

She didn't want to, or she didn't want me. I don't know which one hurts more.

Seeing an exit on the highway that I used to take all the time when I lived here. I pull off, and soon I’m driving through the gates of the cemetery. It's a large one with mausoleums, but Dad's buried in a sunny spot up the hill, thankfully. He would hate to be in a mausoleum as much as I would hate visiting one.

Getting out of the jeep and feeling how long it's been since I've visited, months. I've not been since I found out about Josh and the money.

I felt like the lies tarnished my grief somehow, but I'm still a girl who just misses her dad and needs to speak to him, with or without the lying boyfriend and mom.

The path up to Dad's grave is bathed in sunshine, and I find it with a fresh bouquet on it. Guess Mom is good for something. I stand for a while staring at the gravestone, reading his name over and over, before I finally sit down on the grass. I have so much to say and nothing at all. So, I just sit.

"I feel so alone, Daddy." I finally let out the sob I've been holding since I got here. "I miss you so much." Wiping at my tears, I look at his gravestone. "Why couldn't she just have been there for me? Why did she have to lie and let me down? I already lost you." I blow out a breath and wipe my eyes again, picking the prettiest flower out of the bunch and placing it separately in front.

"Why did you have to leave?" I whisper as I sit back.

I'm not sure how much time has passed since I arrived, but I hear footsteps on the path behind me. I turn my head and find Cami, Bear, Gunnar, Adam, and Grant standing there, all looking at me with sad smiles.

Pressing my lips together as I look up at them, feeling another wave of emotion hit me, and I get teary again.

"I thought you might have come here when we didn't find you at the apartment; we didn't want you to be alone." Cami comes and sits down, hugging me. Grant sits to my left, and the guys sit behind us.

"I didn't know where else to go." I sob, putting my head on Cami's shoulder as she nods understanding. "She had thrown this big party, and she didn't want to talk to me. She just wantedto parade me about and lie to everyone." I sniffle, and they just sit with me as I cry.

"I miss him." I sob, wiping away my tears with the backs of my hands. "Especially now that I don't have anywhere left to go."

"You've always got somewhere to go," Grant whispers, taking my hand and squeezing it softly. "You'll come to Cami's family's for Thanksgiving, Bear's for Christmas, Adam's for New Year's, mine for Easter, and Gunnar's for the Fourth of July."

"We've got you covered." Gunnar squeezes my other shoulder. "You don't have to be alone,"

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