Page 30 of The Drop

“I may have used it on Cami when she used all the hot water last week.” I smile sheepishly, turning back to my laptop as Adam and Bear head out, looking disappointed it wasn’t a real run-through. “Thanks, boys. ”

“Trouble,” Grant openly says, nudging me, and I can’t help but smile back at him as he plays on his phone.

“I’ll start locking the door,” I say quietly, nudging his foot with mine, biting my lip, not looking at him as I continue to catalogue more sweatshirts in The Drop.

“Thanks,” he says just as quietly back, and we lull into a comfortable silence as I work, and he keeps me company.

It’s been nonstop since I presented to the team, and Grant has been checking on me to make sure I’m not lonely while Cami’s at practice. I haven't made any other friends yet; I don’t know if that’s normal for college or if I just haven't found them yet, and that’s my lot. All of my friends at my old college were ones I had made through Josh, and none of them had messaged me since the breakup, so I think that says it all for those friendships.

We sit there for I don’t know how long before Grant finally speaks.

“How long have you been at it this time?” he asks, putting his phone down and stretching his arms above his head, and I roll my eyes.

“It doesn’t matter, I’ve got to take the pictures tomorrow and then we are dropping on Saturday,” I mutter, saving another file, knowing he’d be annoyed that I had worked from breakfast through lunch until now, taking advantage of my free classes today. “I don’t have time.”

“Yeah, you do.” He reaches over and shuts my laptop, and I gasp, pulling my hands back and clutching them to my chest.

“You did not.”

“I did, and you’re taking a break. Come on.” He steers me off the stool and toward the door.

“I don’t want a break.” I sigh as we pause so I can lock the door behind us.

“Just a walk.” He’s still guiding me by the shoulders like I’m going to make a break for it. “Please, Brooke, just entertain me.”

When he says it in such a way that I just follow his lead, we walk side by side. The sun is out, so it’s not too cold without jackets, but you can feel a slight chill as fall settles in. “Cam, says she’s never seen you so focused on something?” he asks.

“I mean, Cami and I have known each other a long time, but we’ve never been to school together; she’s probably never seen me study like this.” I try to brush off that she’s right because I’ve never found a passion before.

But this is something I feel passionate about. I can feel it. I wake up and I want to find new pieces, or I’m looking for new social media trends to use while thinking of ideas to photograph future drops, if this one works out.

“So, how did you guys meet?” Grant asks, breaking the small silence we had fallen into, shoving his hands in his hoodie pocket as he walks.

“Figure skating class”, I pull my sleeves over my hands self-consciously and grin up at his shocked face.

“You were a figure skater?”

“No! I only did classes, but Cami kind of took me under her wing, and the rest is history.”

We drop into silence again. “I’m not very good at following things through,” I say hesitantly, unsure how much to tell him because opening up about this stuff is hard. “My mom pushed so many clubs or activities on me, but when I lost interest or wasn’t the best at it, she pulled me out. I feel like ifI take my foot off the pedal with this, it’s going to fade out like everything else does.”

“Sounds like a lot of pressure,” he sympathises. Looking at me with an understanding smile, and I can tell he is genuine, making me feel more comfortable..

“I guess I carried it on as I got older. Things just don’t stick with me.” I sigh in frustration at myself. “Josh used to say I just had to finish college, and it wouldn’t matter, but I was never happy with that.” “He wanted you to just stay at home while he had a career?” he asks as we cross the street, and he subtly moves me to the inner sidewalk while he takes the outer. “Seems a little sexist.”

“I think he just thought it was easier for me.” I laugh. Josh always used to say I would find something, but never took the time to explore anything I got an interest in and by that point, I had convinced myself I couldn’t do it, so why try? “Like he was doing me a favour by not helping me find something.”

“You needed support,” Grant states, getting what I'm saying instantly. “You didn’t need an out. You needed someone to push and support you.”

“Yes!” I can’t help but shout. “The only person who supported me was my dad; it’s why I stuck with figure skating the longest, he was pushing me not to quit.” I press my lips together at the unexpected mention of my dad. I don’t get to talk about him a lot. He wouldn’t let me quit skating; he said I had to commit to it and not let people down. It was a valuable life lesson. Then he died, and my mom slowly wore down my self-confidence.

Now I don’t let people down, as my dad wanted me to. I just don’t believe in myself enough to try.

Grant seems to sense I don’t want to talk about my dad. “You still skate?”

I raised my eyebrows, looking up at him. “You think I could be Cami Logan’s friend and give up skating?”

“Oh, of course not.” He laughs, shaking his head.

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