“Fah,” I muster between choked sobs, knowing this is probably a dream, one I never wish to wake from because, in this world, my best friend is truly calling my name.
Springing from my bed, I stumble in the direction of the sound, but she doesn’t speak again.
“Fah,” I shout out. The pain in my voice barely scratches the surface of my inner turmoil. “Farrah,” I try again, but am greeted with silence. No sound, not even the ticking of a clock… just me and my cries.
Sighing, I lean against the wall outside my closet and slide down until my ass meets the floor.
“How am I supposed to do this without you, Fah? How do I keep going when every fiber of my being wants to be wherever you are?” I mutter, hoping for an answer that will never come.
It’s just me and my demons. My guardian angel has long since abandoned me, recognizing the waste of resources I am.
“Enough of this shit.”
My gaze snaps up to see Jade standing in my doorway.
“Time to get up,” she orders. “Go wash your face and your ass, and let’s go.”
Momentarily stunned, I gawk at her.How the fuck long has she been here, witnessing my self-deprecation?
“Long enough to know that sitting in these feelings will drown you from the inside out,” she declares, answering my unspoken question.
“I know.” I exhale, shutting my eyes to hide my shame. “I just don’t know how.”
Jade tips my chin up. “One moment at a time,” she explains, and my eyelids flutter open.
I peer up to study her face, expecting ridicule to be written all over it, but no judgment or pity is twisting her features.
She extends her hand, and I take it, allowing her to help me stand. “Sorry,” I mumble. “I just?—”
“You don’t have to explain anything to me, Eva. We all have crosses to bear, and it’s nobody’s business what they are unless you’re ready to share.”
Nodding, I reply, “Thank you,” with a small smile. Then, I actually take her in, like I’m seeing her for the first time. Her carefully constructed mask slips slightly, and our pains brush before she slides her mask back into place.
My lips part, tempted to ask the tried and true question–what happened?Instead, I snap my mouth shut. If she wanted me to know, she’d share her story.
“No need to thank me. Get your ass in the shower. We leave for practice in the next thirty minutes.”
I freeze in surprise, then look at the clock. 5:32 AM. Shit, morning practice.
“Yup,” she confirms, popping the p. “You’ve been knocked out for hours. You were fast asleep when we came in yesterday, so we left you to rest.”
I dip my chin. “Okay, I’ll be ready.”
“Good because we have Texas State this week, and we need our best hitter in peak condition,” she quips, making me laugh before she exits my room.
I prepare to shower, ready for any distraction from my thoughts.It’s time to get my ass in gear.
I slide into my seat at the front of the lecture hall, groaning at the burn in my glutes.
If I never see another jumping burpee, I will die a happy woman.
“That bad, huh?” someone chuckles to my left.
I turn toward the sound, and my eyes widen in surprise. “It’s you.”
Smirking, he replies, “It’sme.”
The night of the party rushes to the forefront. Our bodies moved with the synergy of three lovers familiar with each other instead of perfect strangers.