“Hey, watch it,” a man shouts as his horn blares, but I ignore him. Anger riding me too hard to glimpse in the direction of his yelling.
My feet hit the snow-covered New England ground, outpacing the cold that would normally bite at my skin. Right now,I feel nothing. The numbness punches me in my solar plexus.
I run until my lungs burn—until every part of me screams for reprieve, but I refuse to give in. I’m going to let the emotion Farrah can no longer feel swallow me.Rage… hurt… remorse… inadequacy… failure.
Dropping to my knees, I tug at my disheveled midnight-black hair. “Fuuuccckkkk,” I bellow, letting my pain carry in the wind, whipping across my face as snow begins to fall heavier. Then I hunch over, sobbing as reality strikes—my baby sister is gone.
I don’t know how long I’ve been crying or outside in the cold before my phone rings. I ignore it, praying whoever is calling will go away, but it immediately goes off before the ringtone registers.
Yanking my cell from my pocket, I hit answer, “Colt.”
“It’s time. Mom and Dad have agreed to Farrah’s last wish.”
“What the fuck are you talking about?”
The line is quiet, except for our heavy breaths. “Just get back, Coop, and do it now,” he barks before he ends the call.
Shutting my eyes, I tip my head back, allowing the snow to melt against my skin. Then I stand and run back to the hospital.
“Habibati alsaghira,” my father murmurs before kissing each of Farrah’s eyelids. “Fi hadhih alhayaat walakhira.”
In this life and the next.
I grit my teeth until my jaw aches, peering at the people lining the hallway. Family, friends, doctors, and nurses all stand in honor of my sister’s last walk.
My mother grips Farrah’s hand, squeezing it, while her nurses begin to transport her hospital bed along with all the equipment keeping her alive until her organs can be donated. Tears stream down her face as she looks back, where we are following closely behind.
With each person we pass, the reality that her icy blue eyes, matching Colt’s and mine, will never be filled with mirth as she smiles. I’ll only have the memories of her laughter because I will never hear it again.
We’re approaching the elevator door where the heart of our family will beat for the final time.
Sad faces, filled with condolences I don’t want or need. What I want is my sister stealing the last bagel before any of us make it downstairs. I want to see the way she lit up when she was passionate about something. What I really fucking want is for me not to be referring to my sister in past fucking tense.
I watch Colter whisper into her hair—words only she can hear. I give him as much time as he needs before I take my place beside her.
Leaning over, I kiss Farrah’s still-warm forehead. My eyes shut as I try to reconcile how no life remains in her still-heated skin. Her olive complexion still looks rich and full of life. I have to fight, not shake her, not yell at her to stop playing this game, which is no longer fun.
“Even in death, you continue to bring light to the world around you. I’m so sorry we failed you, Farrah, but I promise never to fail you ever again,” I promise. Then I stand and watchas she’s wheeled into the elevator. I don’t move—not even to breathe until the doors close, sealing Eva Rose Pierce’s fate.
Fisting the note in my pocket, I stare into my brother’s eyes and he nods.
Since Callum Pierce decided to take our sister from us, it’s only fair we do the same in return.
1
eva
“How much longer are yougoing to give your brother the silent treatment, Eva Rose?” my mother questions from the front seat.
We’re driving through a small town that looks like no more than five hundred people reside in it, on our way to school.
I look down at the long sleeves of my white tunic top hanging to my knuckles as I think about how to answer her question.
“Where’s your fidget?” my father prompts, making me look down to where I’m absent-mindedly wringing my wrist.
Closing my eyes, I relish in the burn from the friction of the cloth against my skin.
Anything is better than what I’m feeling inside.