Page 67 of His Lucky Blessing

No one could’ve told me that I was going to be a mother again. I was enjoying every bit of my son but as the days went by, I realized that the shit was harder and harder without having any help. Now that the divorce was final and Lucky was a free man, I was noticing he was moving different. He would come to the house every day to see our son for two hours without saying a word to me. No how was I doing? Did I need anything? That wasn’t like him.

As a woman I started thinking he had another woman that was keeping him from fucking with me. Today when he came over my mama had just laid our son down and for a moment it was just me and him in silence. For the short amount of time, we’ve been together, we always had something to talk about. Wewere damn near best friends and now we couldn’t think of one thing to even have a conversation about.

“Kani has an appointment coming up in a few days. I’m not sure if you’ll be busy or not. I can get my mama to go with me if you can’t make it.”

“When it comes to him, I’ll make time. I just gotta adjust a few meetings I got, and I’ll come pick y’all up.”

Again, we sat in silence with just the television going. He played on his phone while I sat there pumping breast milk.

“How is the new duplex going?”

Lucky was buying up so much property and redoing it that I thought he had forgot about my new shop. After the divorce I had a feeling that the dreams we shared about the shop was now gone down the drain. That would be a good way to get back at me.

“It’s going good. Just tore them down and about to rebuild. Shit had too much mold in it.”

“Are you hungry? You know he’s going to sleep for a few hours.”

“Nah, I’ll just come back. No need to sit here and take up your space and shit.”

“You’re fine, you are not bothering me at all.”

I wanted to tell him to stay but I didn’t want to be rejected. Lucky was over my bullshit but having the baby made me want him closer. Every time I looked at my son it was like look right at Lucky.

“What happened to the woman that hated my fuckin’ guts? I ain’t trying to be mean to you or nothing but I don’t do back and forth shit. I’m a grown ass nigga and I don’t play kiddie ass games with women. When I married you, the shit was for a lifetime, you signed them papers on me and even after I tried to fight for this shit, you didn’t want it. So, save the shit for someone else ‘cause me and you done. I don’t wanna kick it ornothing. I love your ass an all but you not ‘bout to fuck with a nigga heart when you feel like it. It’s ‘bout Kani from here on out, you got it?”

I fought the tears but I nodded my head to let him know that I understood. Khi was the only guy that I knew that could make my heart ache when he would do stupid shit, but I never left him. Watching Lucky put his shoes on and grab his phone left my heart aching. I heard the pain in his voice, but I couldn’t admit that maybe I was wrong for rushing to sign the papers to divorce him. I was hurting for my dead son and baby daddy. I never gave him the chance to fully express his pain to me too.

“I’ll come back by tonight and spend some time with him. If it’s late, I may stay. I’ll make sure to stay out of your way. Tell your mama to cook me some of that cabbage she cooks with the sausage and shrimp in it.”

“I can cook it.”

“Nah, I said tell your mama.”

“Aight,” I back away and let him leave.

While my mama was tending to Kani. I showered and laid down to rest. Between breasting feeding, pumping, and trying to make sure I ate enough so I could produce milk was draining. Bags were under my eye, my hair wasn’t combed, and my stomach was hurting from the incision. All I wanted was to be back to normal self again so I could get back to work and feel like a woman again. Right now, I was depending on everyone to help me and the shit was starting to get on my nerves. I was thankful but I wanted my life back if that was too much to ask.

By the time I woke up from what I thought was a nap, it was nighttime outside and I could hear my mama laughing and talking loud. I got up to use the restroom and make myself look halfway presentable. Lucky was feeding Kani while my mama cleaned the kitchen. She did exactly what Lucky wanted her to do. At least their relationship was working out better than ours.

“I got your plate ready for you,” my mama unwrapped it to warm it up. “I didn’t want to wake you up because you need all the rest you can get after that surgery. Your body needs to heal.”

“I’m fine. If you’ll watch the baby for a few hours, I may go and see how the shop doing.”

“No hell you won’t. Kani two weeks old and you just had a fuckin’ C-section. Fuck that shop,” Lucky stated.

“Why does it matter to you Lucky? As Long as I take care of your son, my well-being doesn’t concern you.”

“You right.”

“Can y’all both stop that in front of the baby. Now, no you will not go to the shop. I’m old school and you will be in this house for eight weeks. I don’t care how much you think you feel better. Rest is the only thing that’s going to help. I’m here to take the baby off your hands so you can take care of you. But this mess between the two of you needs to be worked out. I know what it’s like to love someone and hate them at the same time. Nothing good comes from it and the only ones that suffer are the kids. My grandson will not suffer because of y’all. Fix the problem and move on.”

Lucky watched me as I sat down to eat my food. My mama grabbed the baby and left out of the kitchen.

“I ain’t trying to be mean but you cannot go back to that barbershop until I find out who tried to rob you. I shut the whole shop down ain’t nobody there.”

“You did what?” I dropped my fork.

“I shut that bitch down. Ain’t nobody safe up there. Your cousin got gunned down trying to protect you and did it work? That shop is right in the middle of the hood and the night you needed protection nobody saw shit. That’s very fuckin’ convenient ain’t it? You from the hood so put your thinking cap on and think about that. I was your husband at the time so I could make those type of business calls.”

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