Page 109 of His Lucky Blessing

The rain was coming down so hard that I had to turn the windshield wipers on fast so I could see the business in front of me. The flower shop that Blessyn gave me the address to was a cover up. Because it was raining so hard, she didn’t set everything out like most flower shops did and even with all the rain we were receiving she was getting an ass load of business. Some people came out with flowers, and some came out emptyhanded but either way, the quality of customers was telling me she had some shit going on in there. I waited for business to slow down before I jogged across the street and entered her business.

“Do you have long stem red roses in here? I’ve been all over the city looking for fresh flowers and can’t seem to find any.”

She turned around with a scowl on her face. She knew who I was, and I knew from her demeanor that the bitch was shocked that I was still alive and breathing.

“Why you so shocked? It’s like you saw a ghost. Do you know me from somewhere?”

“Get the fuck outta of my business before I call the police.”

“I was trying to spend some money. Why you got to mention the police in a business transaction? Now, I’m going to ask you again.” I said as I locked her door, flipping the sign to close and closed all the blinds. “Do you know me from somewhere?”

“I hope you know that whatever you got in mind to do, you will not get away with it.”

“Normally I don’t do dumb shit like this and act out of emotion. I’m a very calculated but you did some flaw shit or someone you know did some flaw shit and I’m on some get back so why not start with you?” I twisted the silencer on my gun.

“You got more enemies in this city than you think. Blessyn ain’t all that innocent either. That bitch has a few enemies too. I hope you didn’t think that killing my nephew and marrying his baby mama was going to solve your issue.”

“Never that. Khi comes from a bloodline of pussy ass niggas. He never gave a fuck ‘bout his girl or his son. I’m tired of every muthafucka that has something to say ‘bout me pulling the trigger on his bitch ass. Yes, I did it. I’ll kill his ass again if I had too. The streets were never his thang and y’all knew that.” I raised my gun and aimed it in between her eyes.

“You just like a yo daddy. You look truth right in the eyes and will still pull the trigger. He was always fuckin’ blind and I see you are too. You still being pulled by strings and don’t even know it. I’ll be glad when the truth comes out and you see that you been fucked with ever since you were a little boy.”

“Fuck you talkin’ ‘bout?” I asked.

“Oh, nothing. Go ahead and pull the trigger. I know it’s hard for you to kill a woman so go ahead, this ain’t the first time a gun been to my head, son. Just make sure you pay your old man a visit for me and tell him the lady from the flower shop sent you.”

She smiled at me and turned her back to me. I wrestled with pulling the trigger. She had said a lot that made me want to question her more, but I didn’t have the time on my side. It was a pussy move to shoot a bitch in her back. Walking up to her, I turned her around and put the gun to her head. She squeezed her eyes shut and I pulled the trigger, making sure to catch her before her body hit the ground. I slowly laid her down andwent around her store cutting all the wires that I thought was connected to a camera. She didn’t have any that I could find but I wanted to be safe.

The small space that she had as an office didn’t display any cameras. I rummaged through everything before I put my hoodie back on my head before walking out of the door. It was raining harder than it was when I first went in there. I looked both ways, making sure the coast was clear before jogging back to the car I had got from a bitch that let you drive her shit for a couple of dollars and some coke. I’m sure nigga caught bodies in this bitch all the time.

I slipped my gloves off as soon as I got in the car. One down, and probably plenty more to go but she was the main part of the puzzle. I had already spent more time than I wanted to with her, but my next visit was going to be with my pops. Once her body was found, her people would start coming out of hiding so I could body they ass too. They wanted the old Lucky back and that’s exactly what I was giving them.

“Iknow this can be hard but adoption is the best option for the baby. There are plenty of families out there that want children but can't have them. In the back of your mind you’re thinking about all the bad things but for just a second think about the positive. Your child will end up going into a loving home. There is no need to feel bad about your decision.”

I took my sister's advice after crying for a week straight and got a therapist. It was the hardest shit I ever did. Sitting here being vulnerable to a stranger wasn’t something I was used to doing. If I couldn’t talk to my sister about anything, then I would just keep it in.

“It’s just that I don’t want this to come back and bite me in the ass. What if one day the child wants to know who their realmother and father is. How am I supposed to explain to that child if they find me that they are a product of rape and I couldn’t stand to look at them, so I gave them away? That’s a low blow even for me.”

“Again, you’re looking at the negative. What if the child never finds out? Most people that adopt don’t even mention the biological parent. I think you’re giving yourself some anxiety here thinking about that. Are you doing your exercises I told you about?”

“I know you into the whole holistic thing but it doesn’t work for me.”

“Have you really tried, or you just don’t care?”

“What makes you think I don’t care?”

“Merci, this is our fifth session, and you still haven’t given me anything but this adoption talk. I want to talk about you and see where your mind is.”

“I don’t think you’re ready to talk about me. I’m a complex muthafucka and I don’t like too vulnerable.”

“Why are you afraid?”

“’ Cause every time I’m vulnerable, I get hurt.”

“Exactly. You’re already vulnerable so let’s talk about it.”

I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes. I was falling apart sitting in this damn chair. Piece by piece this woman was breaking down the wall. Deep down I wanted to scream and let it all out, but no one would understand. I hid a lot behind my party girl's demeanor. All my hurt and shit went into making money and making niggas pay for playing with girls' emotions and shit. Perc was the only guy that was able to make me have feelings for him. He treated me better than any other man could, yet I still couldn’t settle down with him until now. After a near death experience. He was still right by my side.

The therapist handed me a tissue, “Next session. I understand when it’s too much too soon. Can I see you back next week?”

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