Page 132 of Between Passion and Revenge: Part One

I move next to her, crowding her.

“Are you saying you don’t feel safe with me?” I ask.

She shakes her head hard, an emphatic no.

“That’s not what I’m saying. Not at all.”

“So it’s really all about Harvard. Your nice little future that’ll fit in a nice little box. A gilded cage for Shae Rivers.”

“Stop,” she whispers, sliding her eyes closed. “This is hard enough. You don’t know what it’s like to?—”

“To what? To want something so badly it terrifies you?” I move so close my chest touches her side, and she doesn’t move away, though her fingers tighten on the counter. “Don’t tell me I don’t understand, Shae. I know exactly what that’s like.”

Her breath catches, and for a moment, I think she might let me in. But then she shakes her head, her resolve hardening. “This isn’t about you, Storm. This is about me. My independence. My future. I can’t afford to lose sight of that.”

“You mean the future that you get sick at the thought of?” I bite out.

She turns her head away, but she doesn’t move from her spot next to me.

“You think I want to take your future from you?” My voice rises, sharp with disbelief. “You think I want to ruin you? To end you? Shae, I want you to live the life you want.”

“I don’t know what I want!”

And there it is.

She folds her arms over her chest, further barring herself from me.

When she speaks again, the frustration in her voice cracks something open in me.

“You look at me like you see everything, know everything about me, but you’ve got me so twisted up that all I want is to be around you. And that’s terrifying! I don’t need people the way I need you, and I hate it. I hate it so much. And the fucked-up part is I’m bared to you, but I know I’m only scratching the surface behind your masks.”

That one—that barb cuts deep.

“When are you going to do whatyouwant?” I ask.

For a moment, the air between us electrifies, at risk of igniting if either of us moves. But then she steps back, shaking her head.

“The truth is, if there’s anyone on this planet who knows me, the real me, it’s you, Shae.”

“How are you possibly being honest? You can’t fully mean the things you say.”

Wanna bet?

“We already promised not to lie to each other, Sweetness. So answer me: Do you think I’m lying about how I feel?”

Taking her arms in my palms, she turns her tear-stained face toward me.

“I want you to look at me, look into my soul in that way onlyyouare able to do, and tell me I don’t love you.”

The words ring in the air and her eyes widen. I hadn’t planned on making the declaration, but damn it, if this might be the last time I get to hold her, I want her to know everything.

“What do you want from me, Storm?” she whispers, her voice just as low as mine. I let that question drop into my mind, into my spirit.

What do I want from Shae?

I inhale deeply when the answer manifests.

Everything. I want everything she’s willing to give me. I’ll worship at her feet and beg for the scraps as long as she lets me stay by her side.

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