Page 117 of Between Passion and Revenge: Part One

Sitting at my desk, I pull out a yellow notepad and pick up a blue ink pen as if preparing to take notes. I lean over my desk, keeping my face so close to the paper that I can smell the ink.

“It’s gonna get late, and I have a few more things to finish up tonight. I’ll see you later. Cool?” I say all this without looking at him, writing out the lyrics toMisery Businessto keep my hands busy and make it look like I’m focused.

“Shae—”

“Goodbye, Storm.” I feel a little bad about my harsh tone, but I’m overwhelmed and need to be by myself to get my head together. If Storm stays any longer, I’m liable to bite his head off.

I don’t move until my door closes. Releasing a sigh, I drop my forehead to my desk and try not to think anymore.

It’s too much. I recognize I’m making a big deal out of this and tomorrow I’ll maybe, probably feel better about everything.

But right now? Right now, I want to lick my wounds in silence.

Yennifer doesn’t knock before entering, but I keep my head turned away from the door, my cheek pressed to the cold wood, as her distinctive scent reaches me.

When she hugs me from behind, I let the tears I’ve been holding back rush forward.

“Shae,” she says, her voice full of sympathy. “I’ll beat him up for you. Want me to have Daddy change his credit rating? I can do it, you know.”

That causes a laugh to break through my sobs, and I lift my head, turning in my chair to face her.

“No, it’s not him,” I say, wiping my face with a Kleenex from the box on my desk.

Yenn tilts her head. “Then why are you crying?”

I laugh again. “Because I’ve got an anxious-avoidant attachment style.”

She keeps her head tilted, but this time her eyebrows furrow.

“Shae, goddamn, you need to chill. You’re holding yourself to God-level perfection, and it’s not fair to you.”

I shrug one shoulder. “I know.”

“Then why are you doing it?”

I sigh. “It’s complicated.”

Yenn blows out a long breath before hopping up.

“You know what you need? You need to fucking relax. Clearly Sandoval ain’t hitting it right.”

“He ain’t hitting it at all,” I blurt out, not intending to reveal that tidbit of information. Yenn’s mouth drops.

“What do youmean!” she exclaims. I can tell she’s about to get animated, so I rush over to her, putting my hands on her forearms.

“Stop,” I plead. “Listen, that’s…complicated too.”

Yenn just stares at me with her mouth agape, shaking her head.

“All right, sis. I’ll let you keep your secrets.”

My shoulders drop, releasing tension.

“For now,” Yenn adds. I nod, even though my lips tighten.

“Sure,” I offer.

Accepting my statement, she claps once and says, “Come get your fill, girlie. We’re gonna drink a lot of alcohol tonight, and I want you to last for a while before you crash.”

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