Page 115 of Between Passion and Revenge: Part One

Sitting me on the edge of my bed, Storm kneels, putting his hands on my thighs.

“What’s wrong, Shae? And don’t say ‘nothing,’ because I know that’s not true.”

My nose starts to tingle as tears well in my eyes.

“I think I just realized I wasn’t expecting to get in,” I say, looking down at my hands. “I know I’m being stupid. I mean, I’d hoped to be here…but I think a big part of me always accepted this as a pipe dream.”

As reality sinks in, I almost want to laugh at the realization. Getting into Harvard was something I needed to do for the greater good, but not anything I thought I’d actually have to contend with.

And be honest…not anything you actually want.

“First, don’t say negative things about yourself, especially not in my presence. I don’t play about you with other people, and I won’t tolerate you being mean to yourself. Feel me?”

Storm delivers this command in a no-nonsense tone that has my back straightening in awareness.

“I feel you,” I whisper, talking into my jeans.

“Good,” he replies. Putting two fingers beneath my chin, he lifts my face so I’m staring directly into his green-hazel eyes.

“Second question: Is it that you don’t want to go that’s making you stressed?”

That question. That damn question.

“Be honest, Shae,” Storm says, his voice lower and his gaze never straying from mine.

I take a deep breath, trying the words on my tongue.

“Yes. I mean, who would turn down Harvard?”

Storm tilts his head, almost as if he doesn’t believe my response. Maybe if I say it clearly enough, I’ll fully embrace this as truth too.

“I want to go,” I reiterate. “I…I should want to go.”

At that, Storm nods as if my words verify his thoughts.

“You can lie to everyone else, but don’t lie to yourself.”

Well, damn.

I pull my hand from his and look away.

“You don’t understand, Storm,” I say.

“Try me. Help me understand, then.”

Releasing a sharp, agitated sound, I walk to my desk to straighten some loose papers.

“I’m stressed about it is all. Nervous, I guess.”

He makes a small noise behind me, and the air shifts when he stands.

“You’re the smartest person I know, though. You’ll be great. I believe in you.”

That. Ugh,that.This entire situation—everyone’sbeliefin me makes me want to scream and cry and run out the door. And maybe with time, I’ll get more used to the feeling of this next phase of my life, but right now?

Right now, I’m antsy. On edge. Searching for ways to sort through all I’m feeling.

“I know I’m smart and capable. This is just a new level, and I’m unsure I’m up for scrutiny from the folks there. I mean, I can move in any space, but this is just…a lot.”

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