“Actually,” I say, glaring at him. “He yelled and startled me, making me lose my grip.”
“Is that any better?” Kingsley asks, making me turn to him in confusion.
“What?”
“Why were you climbing that to begin with? You could have killed yourself!”
“She was trying to get some eggs for us,” Weston tells him.
“Zee…” Kingsley says in disapproval.
“I’m sorry, okay? I’ve climbed that wall a hundred times, I didn’t think of it as being particularly dangerous or unnecessary,” I tell them, my voice rising in frustration as I get to my feet, unable to sit still any longer.
“I’ve been living here for fifteen years on my own. If I played it safe the entire time, I wouldn't have the huts, I wouldn't have anything made from the boar, nor their meat.”
I start pacing as my anger at the situation boils over. I’m no longer upset at them for questioning me climbing that wall, I’m angry at being stuck on this stupid island for so long that I need to do things they might think are reckless, that I need to talk to trees and rocks just to keep sane.
“Zee, I know it’s been hard, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you,” Kingsley says as they all get to their feet and try to stop my pacing, but I just walk around them, unwilling to stop moving.
My heart is beating wildly as my mind races at all the near-death experiences I’ve had over the past fifteen years.
“You don’t understand. Living here’s been easy for you, it wasn’t like this for me. I had to do things to survive. Dangerous things… things I didn't want to do.”
“Tink, W—”
“No!” I yell, tears slipping from my eyes as I turn my frustration towards Bower. “This place was a nightmare! I had to learn to survive here. On. My. Own.” I punctuate each word with a finger pushing against his firm chest.
“I wasthirteen!” I yell as I start pacing again. “I only had my dad for four months before everything was taken from me by those… those assholes!”
“What did you just say?” Weston asks, stepping in front of me and grabbing my forearms, his eyes filled with concern.
I pull my arms free and continue pacing. “Do you have any idea what it’s like for a thirteen year old girl to be stranded on a deserted island after watching her own father get murdered?!”
“Murdered? Zee, what are you talking about?” Kingsley says, as they try to make sense of my rambling.
But I’m too far gone to try and explain the entire story to them, so I just let my mouth spew whatever it wants, hoping that by getting this out, it will make me feel better, because right now, I can't stop myself from talking even if I wanted to.
Suddenly, I’m yanked into a hard chest as firm arms wrap around me. I inhale Bower’s intoxicating scent as tears roll down my cheeks.
“Tell us what happened, Tink. Let it out.”
And for the first time in fifteen years, I allow myself to relive those horrible memories as I finally share the truth I’ve kept hidden from them since the day we met.
“They made my own father watch as they raped me. Then they slit his throat. So, I killed them.”
Chapter thirty-three
Bower
My entire body freezes at her words and I clutch her even tighter against me. My wide eyes meet King’s and West’s as we all stare at each other in shock.
I’d always thought there was more to her arrival on this island than she had told us. She refused to talk about the crash or her father. But I never imagined this. All three things she just told us are enough on their own to warrant some serious hours in therapy, but to have all three happen to her at once? And when she was only thirteen?
Perhaps the worst part is that she was left here on her own to deal with the aftermath of that entire situation. Nobody to help bury the bodies, nobody to help her grieve, nobody to be there for her and help her recover.
I kiss the top of her head as I gently sway her back and forth. West and King step closer and wrap their arms around us, offering her their silent support in a giant group hug.
Her body starts to shake as she erupts into sobs, damn well breaking my heart as she does. I hate seeing her like this. I hate that she’s been holding onto this pain for fifteen years. This could very well be the firsttime she’s ever let herself truly feel the pain of what happened. She’s been running in survival mode this entire time.