Page 95 of Zone Protection

“Oh, Emma. I’m so sorry,” Mia says.

“Our baby looks fine, and things have gone fairly smoothly until now. They saw a small hole in the baby’s heart. I think because I was alone when I got the news and then couldn’t get ahold of Archie, it just made me shut down a little. You all knowI like structure and routine, and this is something I can’t put into a box and control. So, my response is to keep myself protected from feeling too much. The loss of my sister was really hard on my family, and I don’t ever want to go through something like that again. Then I spiraled and started to think about what I would do if Archie wasn’t in the picture and if he was only with me because of the baby. It wasn’t pretty, looking at it now.” I swipe the tears that have started to fall.

“Em, I’m not an expert by any means, but I am your friend, so I feel like I can say this freely. You cannot push this man away because you’re scared. You’ve already laid out tentative plans, so it will all work out. I think the uncertainty and not knowing where you’ll be is scary enough, then add in a complication with your baby … I get it. But let him help you through the scary parts. It sounds like he’s supportive and he wants to be there for you too.” Livi leans forward and hugs me.

“She’s right, Em. You need to talk to him.” Mia wraps her arms around Livi and me.

“Well, I want in on this too.” Peyton joins the hug.

These girls have been really great friends and teammates to me.

“You’re right. This relationship is really the only one I’ve ever been in, and we’re going at it at full speed. Skipping a lot of the steps, you know? But I do love him, and even with my fears, I know I’d follow him anywhere. There’s just some scary in between, but I need to have faith in the doctors and in Archie.”

“Yes, girl! Now, go get your man.” Mia jumps up out of our hug circle.

We break apart.

“I think he needs some time with his friends, so I’ll text him in a bit. I think this has been a lot for him too. And y’all, there’s only a few weeks left of school, and then the baby comes in May. I can’t imagine the pressure he must be feeling to take care of me, train for the combine, and prepare for the draft. We have big life things coming at us hard.”

“Okay, let’s order a pizza then. I’m starving.” Peyton grabs her phone from her pocket.

“Can we circle back to the baby shower?” Mia pipes in.

Livi claps her hands. “Oh, yes. So, what do you think, Em? Let’s do it the weekend after the draft or something.”

“Okay, maybe. Let me talk to Archie first.” I stand from the couch, grab my bag, and head to my room. “Call me when the pizza gets here. I’m going to lie down for a bit.”

“’Kay, we will,” Livi chimes.

When I get to my room, I lie down on my bed. I’m almost asleep when I feel the baby moving. Lying on my back like this makes nugget move around a bit more, I’ve noticed. I rub my belly with one hand and place my other on the spot I felt the kick.

My emotions have definitely been heightened lately, but I can’t help the tears that fall. I’m overwhelmed by the miracle of this life. How amazing this whole process of growing a baby is. I know we have to stay cautious until the baby is born, but I have to believe that this baby is strong and healthy and will have an amazing life because they have parents who will pour every ounce of love into them. I wish Archie were here right now to share this moment with me, but at the same time, maybe this moment was meant for me alone.

I’m still lost in thought when I hear my phone buzz from my bag. I roll off the bed and grab my bag from the floor. I see it’s a text from my mom, but I call her instead of replying.

“Hey, Mom.”

“Hey, sweetie. How are you feeling?”

“Good. I was just taking a rest.”

“Did you see the doctor today?”

“We did. She is sending me to the high-risk OB in the office to monitor me for the rest of the pregnancy, but she says everything looks good. So, I think that’s all we can do for right now.”

Mom lets out a sigh. “Okay, well, that’s good news. I feel better that they’re keeping a close eye on the baby.”

“Me too. It helps ease my mind every time I hear the baby’s heartbeat. It sounds so strong. I wish you could hear it.”

“I’d be happy to come to an appointment with you sometime. Do you think they would let me in with you?”

My parents have been much more available since they found out about the pregnancy. And I actually like it. I’ve been so independent for so long, so between Archie and them, having support is kind of nice.

“I don’t see why not. You should come for the next one in two weeks.”

“I would love that. Thank you.” She sniffles.

I hear the door to the apartment open, so our food must be here, and I’m getting hungry.

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