Page 79 of Daring the Defender

I smile down at my phone as I cross campus and type:I want to say I have no regrets but my body definitely felt our late night gorge fest during my workout

GG: Sorry about that

Reid: Don’t be sorry. It was perfect. Any chance we can meet up on campus before you head to work and practice?

Do I feel a little bit like a dirtbag asking Shelby to come to campus to hook up with me? Maybe. But there’s just enough apprehension that she’ll say no. That maybe she has her own regrets from last night. That fear fades when she replies.

GG: Where and when?

I’m fully aware of the smug grin on my face as I walk into class and it’s still there an hour later when I walk into the student union. I’m early. Shelby shouldn’t be here for another twenty minutes, so I use the time to grab some food from one of the vendors.

I’ve just taken a bite of my chicken wrap when I sense a disturbance in the force. That’s right. Darla.

Without asking she pulls out the chair across from mine and sits.

“I’m meeting someone in a few minutes.”

“This won’t take long.”

I raise an eyebrow. “What won’t take long?”

“I still need to get that stuff back to you. Is there a good time for me to stop by the Manor?”

“Eh,” I shrug, focusing on my lunch, “it’s obviously nothing I’ve missed so, keep it, toss it, donate it to charity. Whatever is easiest.”

She looks a little taken aback by my aloofness, but I’m pretty surprised myself. Just a few weeks ago seeing or talking about her came with complicated feelings. Now? I just want to finish my lunch and go meet Shelby. But Darla has always liked everything tidy and neat. Organized. And having something un-finished has to be bothering her.

Good.

“I’ve heard that after a month of chasing puck bunnies, you’ve been pretty MIA.” She leans back in the chair. “Is something going on?”

I laugh. “If there was, would you have the right to know?”

“I just worry about you.”

I set down my wrap, my appetite gone. “Really?”

“Just because I didn’t see a future with us together, doesn’t mean I don’t care about you. I know the breakup was hard, and the last thing I want is for you to spiral.”

I’m surprised. No, I’m fucking stunned. Does she really think the reason I haven’t been around is that I’m not over her? It takes everything in me not to tell her I’ve got someone in my life, even if what we have is temporary, that makes the pain of our break up nonexistent. It proves to me that it’s worth fighting for more than a girl that never wanted what I did.

I should keep my mouth shut and just walk away, go find Shelby and move on. But Darla sits in front of me with that expression of fake concern and I snap. “Why did you do it? Why did you pretend you wanted the same thing I did? The long termcommitment? The engagement? Why did you not only go along with it, but encourage it? Was everything just a game?”

I hate myself for asking all of those questions, but I’d been holding onto them for too long. I shouldn’t be surprised that she has an answer ready. “College is for experimenting. For trying on new things. You were different from the guys I dated before.”

“So you thought you’d try on a jock for a few years, lock him down, and then bail?”

“That’s the thing, Reid, I always thought you were more than just a jock. You’re an incredibly talented artist who could do so much more if you put in the effort.”

For most women, making it to the top level in professional sports would be a turn on. For Darla, it’s a detraction. I’ve always been creative, all those hours of sketching and drawing as a kid, helped me develop a real talent. Darla helped me explore that further with fashion. It’s not that I don’t love those things, but I love hockey too. I love my team. I love the thrill of it. She’s the one that can’t handle that there is more to me than just one thing.

It takes everything in me not to gloat about the opportunity I have with designing the Wittmore logo, but I keep it to myself. It’s not for her to ruin or to claim some kind of ownership.

“Don’t pretend like things would be different if I chose a different career path. It’s not about what I do that matters to you. It’s who I am. I was never good enough for you long term, and you won’t admit it.”

It’s the biggest challenge I’ve probably ever presented her and in the end she doesn’t bite.

“Reid, in three months you’ll be in New York somewhere busy with hockey. Sitting in the stands and waiting while you travel around the country, that’s not who I want to be. You know that I’ve never had any interest in being a WAG.” She shootsme a sad grin. “But that didn’t mean we couldn’t have fun for a while.”

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