1
Shelby
Promise.
I turn the gold band in my fingers, pulling it off to peek at the word delicately engraved on the inside. I twirl it around, running my nail over the letters, a distraction from the conversation around me, or rather,aboutme.
“I’m thinking we’ll hold it outside.” My mother nods at the glass windows overlooking our large backyard. “Just after Easter. It should be warm but not too hot.”
“It’s a gorgeous yard.” The woman next to her says as she flips through a stack of bridal magazines. That woman being my future mother-in-law, Carol. “But don’t you worry about rain?”
Seriously. What about rain? Or worse, the special brand of humidity we have in Texas.
A drop of sweat slides down my back just thinking about it.
“We’ll rent a few tents just to be safe, but I’m sure the day will be blessed with perfect weather as they celebrate their engagement.” She looks up at me, where I’ve been perched on the edge of the couch for the last thirty minutes. Her gazedrops down to the ring in my fingers, and I quickly slide it back on. “Natural light is so much more flattering for Shelby’s complexion. You know she can look so pale inside.”
Ah, there it is, the real reason.
“Look at this dress,” Carol says, ignoring my mother’s back-handed compliment, and points to the magazine. “Handwoven lace. I had handwoven lace on my wedding dress.” She sighs, her voice turning wistful. “I also had a twenty-two-inch waist.”
“Luckily, Shelby was graced with my genes and not her father’s, and she’ll be wearing my dress,” Mother notes, smoothing a hand down her flat waist. “It doesn’t even need alteration.”
“Oh,” Carol’s eyes dip down to my mother’s slim frame, “how wonderful.”
My fingers rise to my throat, scratching at the memory of the stiff high-neck collar. When my mother pulled the dress out of the well-preserved box and had me try it on, I’d hoped that maybe it wouldn’t fit and maybe, I could get something lighter, more current, but nope. Fit like a glove.
“Did I tell you I stopped by the fabric shop?” Mother steamrolls on. “I picked up these swatches for a dress for the event.” From her stack of samples, she holds up the swatches.
“That lavender is gorgeous!” Carol exclaims, looking over at me. “Don’t you think, Shelby?”
“It’s pretty,” I agree, taking in the array of pastels. “Didn’t we talk about blue? I showed you that teal that I liked.”
Mother wrinkles her nose. “It’s a lovely color, dear, but lavender will bring out the green in your eyes.“
“David will love you in lavender,” Carol assures, patting me on the arm.
“Of course,” I nod, feeling myself drifting away. Even though we’re here to discuss the upcoming engagement announcement, it seems like they’ve already moved on to the wedding. In fact,the plans are already set. The dates, the times, the food, and guest lists. It’s all organized.
All I have to do is show up, look pretty, and marry the wonderful man down the hall.
Twisting my neck, I try to work out the tight muscle that pulses from the back of my ear down the opposite side of my spine. Pressing my hand to my lower back, I try to massage it out, but the pounding just moves to my temple. Next, it’ll spread to my chest. It’s not unfamiliar, and there’s only one way to deal with it. I shoot to my feet and grab the pot of tea. “Let me go freshen this up.”
“That would be lovely, dear.” Neither woman looks up from their magazines and color swatches as I leave, stepping into the hallway. I make my way in the direction of my father’s deep voice as he entertains David and his father in his study.
The house is massive, with high ceilings and ornate fixtures. My father is the minister of a mega-church called Kingdom here in Texas, and he claims the house is an extension of that ministry. He’s popular, a celebrity, really, with his Sunday services broadcast all over the internet and thousands showing up every week to listen to his sermons in person. I’ve always loved being part of this community, and David, my future husband, grew up here too. His father is the music minister, so we get what it’s like to grow up as a preacher’s kid. He’s older by two years, a senior at a religious college where he’s earning a business degree. Once he graduates, he’ll take a position at Kingdom, and I’ll take my place as his wife.
Since we already knew I wouldn’t need a traditional degree, I didn’t continue my education, instead devoting myself to service at Kingdom. Currently, I serve with the youth, which is where I got to know David, but just being Nolan Rakestraw’s daughter requires a lot of time and attention. There are a dozen events a week at the church. After my brother and my father had a fallingout, he wanted to make sure the congregation knew we were still a stable family unit and my presence has been required more than usual. When David is officially on the staff my duties will expand to however he needs me to support him–until I have kids–then I’ll focus on raising them.
Like the engagement party and wedding, all the boxes are ticked off.
Which is why I don’t know why everything seems so overwhelming all of the sudden. Nothing has changed, well, nothing but one thing. I’d always thought my brother, Axel, would be by my side as I entered this next phase of life. He promised when he went to college he’d come back to work with the family. But something happened between him and my father–a huge falling out, one that I’m not privy to the details of, but I do know that ultimatums were made, and Axel made the decision to live his own life–chase his own dreams.
That’s when I started waking up at 3 AM with a thudding heart and unable to go back to sleep.
It’s the change I’m uncomfortable with, that’s all, and I need to get back on track. Axel has always been a wild card. Fiercely independent and completely focused on his hockey career. It only intensified when he moved East and joined the Wittmore hockey team as their goalie. And if his social media is accurate, my brother has fallen head-over-heels in love.
I smooth the front of my sweater and peek into the cracked door. My eyes land on David first. He’s handsome. Hair a shade darker than my own, with pale blue eyes. He sits across from my father, his long legs bent between the chair and the coffee table. I love how tall he is–his body is lithe and strong, from years of disciplined running.