Page 26 of Puzzle for Two

“Ben, how many times can we go through this? I’m really,trulysorry. It’s not like I planned this. It’s not my fault.”

“So it’smyfault? You leftme,” Ben burst out. “How isanyof thismyfault?”

“I didn’t say it was your fault. It’s not about fault. I left after you gave me an ultimatum.”

“Which Iretracted.”

“It doesn’t work like that!”

“Why wouldn’t it work like that?”

Once again, they were arguing in circles.

Zach didn’t want to keep saying these things. He didn’t want to keep hurting Ben. Not for the first time, he wished he could have somehow figured out how to be happy without actually being happy because it would have been so much easier to stay with Ben.

Except…would itreallyhave been easier?

Once again, he tried to explain the inexplicable. “Because. Because once I went through the process of realizing there were things I wanted more than our relationship, that I could be happy without you, there wasn’t any going back.”

Ben was silent for a long moment. He said huskily, “Everything I ever did, every choice I ever made, was forus, forourrelationship, forourfuture.”

Zach absorbed that and said equally huskily, “I’m sorry. I am. But I don’t know that that’s true. Or at least, if it’s true, then I still think you were doing what made you happy.”

Ben was stone silent. He said finally, bitterly, “Your mother’s right. You’re completely selfish. Completely self-centered. You don’t deserve love. I hope you’re lonely and alone for the rest of your life.”

It took Zach a moment to be able to say steadily, “Okay. If that makes you feel better.”

“What will make me feel better is to never see you again. I wish you were dead.”

There were any number of things to say to that. Zach choked all of it down. What were his hurt feelings compared to Ben’s?

Maybe his silence said it anyway because after a moment, Ben turned, forging through the vegetables and herbs, climbed out of the planter, and strode down the cobbled walkway into the night.

Zach took a moment to gather himself before also wading through the lavender and lettuce. He stepped over the short stone wall and returned inside.

It seemed very loud, jarringly loud, and muted though the lights were, they dazzled his eyes. He walked right into someone, startled at the strong grip that closed on his arms, steadying him.

“That was awkward,” Flint remarked.

Zach wiped the rain from his face and focused on Flynn’s face. “It could have been worse.”

Flynn’s expression was genuinely curious. “How so?”

“He could have brought my mom.”

Flint’s brows shot up. He laughed, glanced past Zach, and said in carrying tones. “We worked the Gunderson case together.”

It took Zach a moment. He too amplified for the back row. “I remember. How’ve you been?”

“Can I buy you a drink?”

Zach gave a brief shake of his head. “I should get back to my table.”

Flint said quietly, “Your client is making business calls at the moment. Let’s confab.”

As they made their way to the bar, Flint remarked, “You didn’t think to mention the situation to your boyfriend?”

“We’re not together anymore.”

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