Page 27 of What I Should Have Felt

No, I couldn’t even toy with that idea. I had others who counted on me. Who needed me to continue doing as I’d always done. Especially Azelie.

Ford slowly tipped his head sideways as a crease formed between his brows. Subconsciously, I mirrored his movement. Maybe letting things go just a smidge for just a moment wouldn’t be… a terrible thing. Right? Maybe because we were both different people now, it would work this time.

I sucked in a tiny bit of my bottom lip as his rough kiss from two days ago danced through my mind. Passionate and strong, he’d tasted sweeter than I remembered. It was as if that was the first kiss we’d ever shared with each other, and every kiss that came after would be in comparison to that one. His rough hands, palms that were covered in calluses acquired from a life I wasn’t privy to, had danced against my hips, my arms, my wrists, and my cheeks, and for a moment, I’d felt feminine and strong all at the same time.

Ford’s chest expanded slowly, raising shoulders that were broad and thick. Damn, was he a specimen to behold. Not the tall, skinny kid whom I’d once loved. I tipped my head the other way, and this time he followed suit. Something about the spark that had once glowed in his piercing gaze seemed dampened. It didn’t shine quite as brightly, and there was a part of my soul that wished to wrap around his and take away whatever anguish twisted inside of him.

And I somehow knew it wasn’t just from the remorse he felt about leaving me.

“Your mom seems rather pissed,” Ford finally spoke, and my eyes widened.

Shit.Right. My mom.

The whole reason I was over here.

“You fucker,” I snarled, threw my hands on my hips with a shake of my head, and stalked forward.

The crease between his brows deepened as he tucked his chin down against his chest, lowering his gaze to me while I closed the distance between us.

“It’s your fault I was attacked!” I continued with a shout.

“What the hell?” he muttered.

I curled my fingers up and then grimaced. “Sorry about this,” I whispered and then slapped him. A sharp sting shot up my arm as my palm connected with his cheek.

But he didn’t even wince. “The fuck did I do this time?” He placed his palm against the red forming on his skin.

With an over exaggerated cock of my hip, I raised my voice even louder. “It’s your fault I was attacked, and you need to fix it!”

He dropped his hand back down to his side. “Again with this?”

I narrowed my gaze, attempting to get some sort of rise out of him. “You should turn yourself in! It’s the least you could do since everything that happened to me is because of you!”

“Will you quit shouting?” he calmly asked, casually watching me.

“NO! You’re the reason I was hurt! It’s always your fault. You hurt me. Again.” I jabbed a finger against his chest and lowered my voice, sendingevery ounce of lingering rage that seethed within me. “That’s all you’re good for, is to hurt others.”

And his jaw twitched. His eyes flashed with sorrow, turning briefly hollow.

I slammed my lips together. No. What had I just done? That was too deep of a dig. This was supposed to just be for a show for my mom until she went back into the restaurant and I could actually talk to Ford about what happened and ask him why a cop was here.

Ford’s shoulders fell, and he pulled his eyes away from me in defeat.

Silence stretched thin between us. I should say something, but I wasn’t sure what. There was nothing that could take back what I’d said, nothing that could change the knife I’d just twisted in his stomach.

He leaned away from me slightly, his gaze darted above my head, and then for a moment, he drifted off somewhere in his mind that wasn’t here. I closed my eyes. This time, I’d gone too far. He’d hurt me, yes. But that was fifteen years ago, and he wasn’t that same person. Nor was I.

“Was all that for show because of your mom?” he finally muttered beneath his breath.

My eyes shot open as a sliver of hope bled through the cracks in the despair I’d just created.

“Yes,” I stated. “Yes.”

Please, forgive me, I silently pleaded.

Slowly, he bobbed his head up and down and then brought his gaze back to mine. He didn’t move, nor did I. I simply widened my eyes, raised my brows, and tried everything in my power to convey that I was so sorry. That I hadn’t actually, totally meantwhat I’d said.

Suddenly, he shot forward and wrapped an arm around my waist. The world flipped upside down as he tossed me over his shoulder, and I was staring at his ass.

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