Page 35 of Why We Break

I sit my phone down when there’s no reply for a moment and I worry again that I’ll end up scaring her away. After a minute, my screen lights up and I lurch for it, fumbling with it for a moment as I try to get the damn thing unlocked.

Out of the corner of my eye I can see Seth and Theo giving me strange looks, but I ignore them, swiping at my screen to see what she said.

HANNAH: *sigh* Me either. But if we’re gonna do this, it’s gotta be just sex. No strings. No promises. Just sex.

HANNAH: And none of our friends can know. If Caroline gets a hold of this, I’ll never hear the end of it.

I feel a rush run through me at her text as I think about how it’ll feel to slide inside her again after all these years. The rush is accompanied by a brief pang at her request, wishing I could understand why she’s so determined to set boundaries like this. I have the thought that there’s no way this will end well for us. There’s too much history and too many feelings for us to pretend like the way we feel about each other is purely physical. But the part that’s horny and desperate for whatever part of her that she’ll let me have wins out.

WILL: Sounds like a plan.

CHAPTER 27

HANNAH

“God, this is the only way to end a Monday,” Margaret says, shaking her shoulders as she sips on her peach margarita the next Monday.

“Amen. I don’t know about y’all but today was an absolute shit show at school,” Caroline groans, grabbing the pitcher from the center of the table and refilling her glass.

“Right? Whoever thought having a school-wide assembly and a fire drill on a Monday during a full moon was seriously delusional,” I agree, before turning to Margaret.

“So, I need a bakery update. How long until I can spend all my money on coffee and those delicious cookies you make?”

She smiles at the question, and her eyes light up in excitement at the mention of her new business. “Oh my gosh, I’m so excited. It’s still gonna be several months before I’m ready to open because the space needs so much work. But, I do have some exciting news to share in the meantime. Mayor Brian called me this weekend to ask if I’d be interested in running a pop-up through the holidays at Deer Valley Inn!”

“Oh my gosh, that’s incredible Margaret!” Caroline squeals and I nod in agreement. Mayor Brian’s family has run the small inn and winery in town for as long as I can remember, but I heard he was trying to upgrade several of the services since he took over last year following his mom’s death.

“I know, I’m so excited! I’ve been testing out some new holiday drinks and treats all weekend. Seth also told me when I saw him bringing in his groceries that he’d help me get a head start on the building over winter break too, so I’m keeping my fingers crossed for a spring opening,” Margaret continues, grabbing a handful of chips and dipping them in the queso.

“Hmm, is that right? Do you run into Seth often?” I ask, raising my eyebrows in her direction.

“What? Not really! I mean, you know he and Will are my neighbors now that I live in Caroline’s old apartment, but he was just being nice!” she says, her eyes widening at my implication.

“Right…” I say, still eyeing her skeptically.

“That’s it. Plus, we all know after how my last relationship worked out, I’m not exactly looking for someone to complicate my life with,” she adds.

“Okay, that’s fair, but just because your ex didn’t know how to keep his dick in his pants doesn’t mean you can’t have some fun with someone else,” I remind her, feeling another wave of hatred for the man who broke Margaret’s heart before she came to Springside. He was some high-powered attorney from the city, and she’d been waiting on him to propose until she walked in and found him with his dick down some other girl’s throat. It turned out he’d been sneaking around with one of his clients for months, and their breakup had prompted her to join her brother in his move for a fresh start.

Ignoring me, she launches into her recipe for a caramel gingerbread latte that honestly sounds heavenly, and I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket. Pulling it out, I see a text from Will on my screen.

WILL: What are you doing after the game Friday?

I feel my heart start to race at the idea of finally spending time alone with him after all these years.

HANNAH: I don’t have any plans. What’d you have in mind?

WILL: Don’t worry about it. I’ll meet you at the farm when we’re done.

HANNAH: Fine, but remember the rules… No strings, no emotions. Just sex.

He doesn’t reply to that, and I roll my eyes. I don’t know what the hell I’m thinking. Can I really convince myself that I’m okay with just sex after the last few years? There’s a part of my brain that tries to scream that there’s no way that’ll ever be enough for me, but I tamp it down. This arrangement may have been my idea, but it was the only way I could convince myself that I might get a little bit of the happiness I’ve been missing since I pushed him away.

“Hey,Gramps, what are you up to?” I ask as I enter his room Friday afternoon. I had to push my visit this week thanks to the extra cheer practices for state next week and Caroline and I staying behind to work with Maggie. The weeks keep getting busier the closer we get to the end of the season, and I’m exhausted. Plus, I haven’t been sleeping much, anxious with the thought of finally spending time with Will again.

“Hey, my Hannah Banana!” Gramps calls, smiling from his chair. “Come on in. I wasn’t expecting you today!”

“I know, but I wanted to swing by before the game and check on you. I haven’t seen you since Sunday, and I feel terrible!”

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