Page 61 of Why We Break

I lock eyes with Will again, and I’m pretty sure this is the worst form of torture. I know that the old me would have made some smart-ass comment right about now, but I don’t want to fight like that with him anymore. As he and the guys continue to talk, it sinks in that all I want is him. Not just the sex. Not just the stolen moments we manage to sneak in together at the farm. No, I want every single piece of him, and it’s the one thing I know I’ll never have.

CHAPTER 46

HANNAH

FOUR SUMMERS AGO

Come on, Hannah. You’re a big girl, you can do this,I tell myself as I see Will across the room of Maracas. Caroline suggested a night out to celebrate us both landing teaching jobs at Springside High earlier this week, and I agreed, not realizing she also invited a few of the other teachers. Since Will took an assistant coaching job two years ago, I shouldn’t be surprised he’s here, but I thought I’d have a few more days to prepare myself before seeing him again.

I’ve thought about it a lot over the last few years, and I know I owe him an apology. It wasn’t fair for me to take out my fear and frustration on him, and while I know we’ll probably never go back to how we were, I still think we could be friends.

Blowing out a breath and giving myself a mental pep talk, I straighten and start to make my way over to where Will is standing, talking to Seth, another guy we went to school with. I know he works at the school too, and I’m pretty sure he helps with the baseball team. Their backs are to me, and as I get closer, I start to hear them talking as they take sips of their beer.

“Yeah, it’ll be nice to have Caroline at Springside. All the kids are gonna be fucking obsessed with her,” Will says, and Seth nods in agreement.

“Hell, I’m just glad we’ll finally have some other young people around campus. I’m tired of everyone acting like you have to be ready to draw Social Security to be good with the kids,” Seth says with a laugh. “And you forgot about Hannah. I think she’s cool too.”

“Ugh, whatever,” Will scoffs, taking another sip of his beer. “She gets on my damn nerves. I don’t know what on earth Principal Hale was thinking when hiring her.’”

I briefly register Seth trying to defend me, but the rushing in my ears makes it impossible to figure out exactly what he’s saying. I’ve stopped dead in my tracks at their conversation, and I know I need to move, but I can’t. My heart sinks at the way Will’s talking about me. I know we didn’t leave off on great terms, but the hatred I hear in his voice makes me want to cry.

I force myself to change directions, heading to the bathroom, not wanting Will and Seth to know I overheard them. Locking myself in the small bathroom, I take in my reflection in the mirror, shaking my head in frustration over the hurt I feel.

I haven’t talked to Will in years, and I certainly don’t have to grovel for his approval now. Yes, I wanted to apologize, but he didn’t even try to come after me when I left. The man had made all these promises and just like everyone else in my life, he didn’t intend to stay when things got hard.

I wipe my eyes where the two lone tears managed to fall and promise myself that these are the last tears I will ever cry over Will Thompson. He wants to hate me? That’s fine. I can match that same energy right back, and I’ll pretend that he isn’t still holding a few pieces of my heart that I’ll never get back.

CHAPTER 47

HANNAH

“Hey, sweet boy,” I say, nuzzling the nose of my old American Quarter horse, Merle. I know I’m already running late to meet the girls for Margarita Monday, but I’ve got to finish checking on Falling Oaks first.

“I know. I haven’t been spending as much time out here since Ruby was born. But she was so little and I needed to make sure she was okay,” I tell him, trying to push aside my guilt at not being as present as I’d like for all the other animals over the last few months.

Merle blows a warm breath into my hand and I hold out a carrot for him. He snatches the treat from me, and I run my hands through his mane as he chomps away at it, clearly forgiven.

“Such a sweet boy,” I tell him, giving him one last pat before turning and heading back to the house. After making sure that Leroy and Ruby are taken care of, I jump in the car and race to Maracas to meet Caroline and Margaret.

I smile as I see my friends sitting in the corner under the“save water, drink tequila” neon sign when I make my way inside, both of them waving frantically as if I wouldn’t notice them in the tiny restaurant.

“Hey, Han! You okay? We were starting to get worried?” Caroline says, holding out a margarita for me to take as I slide into the booth.

“God, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hold everyone up. I was trying to make sure all the animals were taken care of before I came over, and it’s definitely gotten better since the boys finished fixing the fence. But I still feel like I don’t spend enough time with all of them,” I tell them, taking a long sip of the drink Caroline offered me.

Margaret and Caroline both just nod, before Margaret says, “No worries. I was actually running a little late too. I got carried away baking this afternoon and lost track of time. Each day we’re getting more and more visitors at Deer Valley, and I can barely keep up. I’m definitely gonna have to hire more help if this keeps up once I open the bakery.”

“Oh my gosh, it definitely will. I think you’re gonna have more business than you know what to do with,” Caroline tells her, and Margaret smiles at that.

“I sure hope so. I’m so excited to really get to work in a few weeks while y’all are out for school. I’ve been saving some ideas, and I think it’s gonna be so cute,” she says, pulling out her phone and turning it to show us some pictures of what she has planned.

“It’s gonna be adorable. Once Seth and the other boys get all the construction stuff done, we’ll be happy to help you paint or whatever else you need,” I offer, and Caroline nods in agreement. “Now that the farm isn’t falling apart quite as much as it was and I’m not drowning in all the bills like I was a few months ago, I for sure owe you both a couple hundred favors for all the chaos I’ve caused you.”

“Oh my gosh, would you stop? You don’t owe us anything. That’s what we’re here for,” Margaret argues with an eye roll. “But I will take the help if you’re offering.”

We all laugh at that, taking a sip of our drinks before Caroline asks, “So, Han, that payment plan we worked out still helping? If not, you can tell us, and we’ll come up with something else.”

“Nope, it’s still great. Honestly not having to worry about Gramp’s expenses has been a lifesaver. I don’t know how they managed it at the nursing home, but I’m so grateful.”

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